Repost of Journalism stuff, 15 min before Parent's Weekend begins. (Jessica, Rogue, Veronica, Jack)
We are here to introduce our new campaign:
JUST SAY YES TO SEX
So you have a new boyfriend or girlfriend and you’re thinking about having sex to show how much you love them?
We encourage you to go for it!
After all, what’s the worst that could happen? Sexually transmitted diseases are curable, right? They may cause some pain, and some may leave permanent damage, but the pain is definitely worth the pleasure you’ll get in exchange.
And of course, the more people your partner has been with previously, the more likely they are to be an amazing lover, so it doesn’t matter that you’re effectively having sex with every person they’ve ever had sex with. Of course, if that person’s only ever had sex with one person, you should be okay.
You can easily dismiss the research conducted at an Ohio high school, where researchers mapped an entire school’s sexual network. Of the 573 students who were sexually active, only 52% (288) were linked together. (http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/chains.htm) So there’s a 50/50 chance that you won’t be exposed to a large number of diseases. Those are pretty good odds, right?
But if you use a condom, you don’t need to worry. They’re almost 97% effective if used correctly. Just ignore that there is a paradox in the use of condoms: their theoretical effectiveness is relatively high, but their actual effectiveness is relatively low, since many people don’t use them correctly. I’m sure you’re not one of them though. You never store your condoms in a car or wallet, you don’t have sharp fingernails, you always check the expiration dates, and, of course, if you’re a man, you’ve practiced in a well lighted place to ensure you can properly apply a condom.
And of course, there are no emotional factors to consider. After all, it’s just sex right? Purely a physical thing. Your heart won’t be torn into shreds if your lover dumps you for someone else.
So, say yes to sex! It’s fun!
And we all know that Professor Beeblebrox is one cool frood.




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