James cleared his throat and did his best to imitate Pip's French accent.

"Pip Bernadette," he stated, then lapsed away from the accent. "He informed me that the forces of coolness don't converge in the second floor common room, after all. And that Millie the idolatrous cow wasn't actually the third coolest place in the world."

He glued a button onto the end of the screwdriver.

"It's the eighth."