fandomhighdorms | The Roof, Tuesday Night

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The Roof, Tuesday Night

Walter had the proper supplies for a proper brood - cigarettes, something dubious in a thermos, and a mood. He checked to ensure he wasn't interrupting anyone else's emo and went to sit down on the edge of the roof.

On the plus side, he could see properly again. On the minus side, he was really just dreadful at working out his personal life.

[ooc: Welcome to the ~~roof o'emo~~ house of fun.]

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Nadia had gotten respectably sloshed relatively early at Caritas and upon returning to the dorms headed automatically for the roof.

She may have been debating the usefulness of performing the breakup ritual on herself.

Seeing that Walter was already there, she stopped in the middle of the roof and debated staying or fleeing for a moment.

Which is of course totally the proper behavior for a trained spy. Really, it was becoming more and more obvious that Roberto really had been a fraud.

Walter heard someone come out onto the roof and turned to see who was there. He stopped when he realized the silhouette there was Nadia's.

"Hey," he said softly.

Her choices taken away from her, Nadia walked over to the edge of the roof and sat down, a few feet from him. She barely looked over.

He still looked the same. It wasn't fair. He should have gotten fat and ugly and made this whole thing easier on her.

"Hey."

Walter looked down at the ground and kicked his feet a few times. "Are you still in the hotel?"

Just talking. They hadn't broken up badly, right? Couldn't they be friends?

Was he stupid? High? Just really optimistic?

Gah.

"No. I've got my old room back." Nadia folded her arms across her knees and stared out across the town.

She had about a million questions to ask, but was seriously afraid of the answers. Still.

"What's so complicated?"

Pippi knew she'd find somebody up on the roof tonight.

So she scaled the wall and peeked over the edge.

Walter picked up his thermos and poured out something into the cup top. "Everything. I want a lot of things, Nadia." He picked up his drink and toasted the bit of moon that peeked through the clouds.

"I want to be with you, but it's not fair to you, because I love someone who isn't here."

"Alucard." There wasn't any venom in her voice, though she now knew for certain that she hated the vampire. She remembered what she'd said to him, just before the cab had driven away.

Te amo,

"Then why were you with me in the first place?"

"I said it was complicated." But he owed her answers if she asked. "Because I wouldn't admit it to myself. Remember, you asked me if I loved him? And why I would be with him?"

He downed his drink and pulled out a cigarette. Things to distract himself for a moment, things to keep his hands busy.

"So I wouldn't admit it, and here is this beautiful girl who is smart and funny and a good, good friend. It's not as though you were second best. You're the only girl I've wanted to be with."

Walter heard the climber before he saw her. There was a pretty safe assumption as to who he'd see when her head came over the edge.

"Pippi."

She'd never asked him to love her. She'd been pretty sure she hadn't wanted him to.

Now she knew she hadn't.

"Love is bullshit. It's an excuse. Just something you say when you're leaving." Nadia stood and walked over to another part of the roof, no longer comfortable sitting down. "Love is crap and pain and it doesn't mean what people think it means."

"Evening." she said hauling herself over the edge.

"Am I interrupting you?"

Walter hadn't expected her to burst into tears. Anger was more in keeping with the sort of reaction he'd expect from her, in fact.

"I think different people think it means different things," he said quietly, not following her or moving from his place on the edge of the roof.

"No. Nothing to interrupt here." Walter waved his cigarette hand in her general direction. "Just one of those nights where I'm thinking I should consider a life in a monastery."

"It means 'I'm going to do something bad to you, now, but don't hate me, because I love you'. It's never a good thing." Nadia kept her back to him, her arms wrapped tightly across her chest.

She didn't want him to see the fact that her cheeks were wet.

"I'm generally of a mind that anybody can do anything if they put their mind to it." she said. "But I'm fairly certain that you'd do poorly in a monastery."

Is that what you meant when you said it? It was on the tip of his tongue.

But he really wasn't that kind of asshole when he was the one hurting her.

"That's your definition. And Victor thought it meant something else. And I think it means something different from what either of you think."

Or maybe Nadia had the closest definition. Help Seras make a gun...

The worst part was, she'd actually managed to start thinking differently.

She was an idiot.

"You couldn't have just tried?"

"Would you want me to?" He turned around to look at her back. "What did you do in the year you were gone?"

"Right. Well, there would be many unattached men there. Damn that pesky vow of celibacy."

"Yes, that would be reason number one right there." she grinned.

"Maybe Arthur has the right of it," Walter said without elaboration and with a healthy swallow of whatever dubious thing it was he was drinking.

"I trained." Nadia half turned back towards him, keeping her eyes down. "And it took seven months before I got together with anyone else."

And broke it off with him to go with someone else . . . who she'd ended up killing.

See? She was right all along.

Walter stood up and walked slowly toward her, stopping well outside touching distance. "What do you want me to try, Nadia?"

This would be so damned much easier if his feelings for her had changed. There was absolutely nothing fair about his selfish wants.

"How long did you know? That you couldn't be with me because you'd rather be with him?"

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The Roof, Tuesday Night

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