//'S nothin'..// He took a moment and let his eyes dart up to take a quick look at her. He almost wished he hadn't because talking himself down was already a big part of his life. When things went well, or even if they fought, he had to sit and say "It's all in you head" He didn't want to hope anymore that there was something left between them other than friendship.
He'd started to hate that word. He had just WISHED for so much more... Friends felt like an excuse to still be allowed to drag him through the mud of this feeling without giving anything back. What was the word... unrequited. That's it. It was the worst sort of pain. He could remember days where he had to hike until he couldn't feel a single muscle in his leg. The ache the next day was nothing as sharp as the tug on his heart when he saw them together.
His only way to deal with it was either hurt Jude or run away. And neither was avalible to him. To hurt Jude in anyway just felt wrong. He couldn't defend himself for a minute. It wasn't a fair fight. And she didn't even allow him to run away anymore. His jaw would lock when anyone even mentioned Jude in his presence. All he could do was clench his teeth and hope it stopped.
All he wanted to know was what made Jude so much better than him...? Sure Jude was sortof... exotic. Well at least a foreigner. And he was just a plain Japanese boy. Half boy. That was another problem. That one would be taken care of. The cats... sure he had that too. And he also wasn't really very smart... But Jude didn't really seem like some genius.
He didn't know all the details of Jude and Setsuna's relationship. And really he didn't WANT to know. But he felt like he felt for her deeper than Jude did. He had no idea and there was no way to ever know. But he could only feel like Setsuna was... the girl for him. Even in his deepest thoughts he couldn't quite place this feeling. But when he saw her he could only smile. He hoped she didn't notice it.
Her wings, her smile, her very temperment had become something he could only smile softly at. When she yelled he sometimes even had trouble taking her seriously. She just seemed to be suspended there in his mind as an goal he'd never reach but always pine for.
Re: TOLIET PAPER ATTACK
He'd started to hate that word. He had just WISHED for so much more... Friends felt like an excuse to still be allowed to drag him through the mud of this feeling without giving anything back. What was the word... unrequited. That's it. It was the worst sort of pain. He could remember days where he had to hike until he couldn't feel a single muscle in his leg. The ache the next day was nothing as sharp as the tug on his heart when he saw them together.
His only way to deal with it was either hurt Jude or run away. And neither was avalible to him. To hurt Jude in anyway just felt wrong. He couldn't defend himself for a minute. It wasn't a fair fight. And she didn't even allow him to run away anymore. His jaw would lock when anyone even mentioned Jude in his presence. All he could do was clench his teeth and hope it stopped.
All he wanted to know was what made Jude so much better than him...? Sure Jude was sortof... exotic. Well at least a foreigner. And he was just a plain Japanese boy. Half boy. That was another problem. That one would be taken care of. The cats... sure he had that too. And he also wasn't really very smart... But Jude didn't really seem like some genius.
He didn't know all the details of Jude and Setsuna's relationship. And really he didn't WANT to know. But he felt like he felt for her deeper than Jude did. He had no idea and there was no way to ever know. But he could only feel like Setsuna was... the girl for him. Even in his deepest thoughts he couldn't quite place this feeling. But when he saw her he could only smile. He hoped she didn't notice it.
Her wings, her smile, her very temperment had become something he could only smile softly at. When she yelled he sometimes even had trouble taking her seriously. She just seemed to be suspended there in his mind as an goal he'd never reach but always pine for.