The Roof, Late Monday Night

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

Anders wasn't as physically drained as Tannim was, but after returning from the Underworld he was emotionally exhausted.

Any recent attempts to cut back on the number of cigarettes he consumed went up in -- pun intended -- smoke as he paced the roof, trying to get some semblance of control back.

Actually, he was mostly trying to prevent himself from throwing up, or having a nervous breakdown, or completely losing it one way or another. He'd never had to help kill a friend before . . . even if it had really been a monster wearing a friend's face.

With any luck he'd never have to do it again.

[OOC: The roof is the place for emo -- and open.]

Comments

[water-wonder.livejournal.com]

Tori's classes were technically done for the week, at least until Thursday. She had been roaming the dorms, still very much wide awake and unsure of what to do with herself.

Fresh air sounded like a good idea, so Tori now found herself making her way to the roof, bundled up against the cold. She hadn't expected to find Anders on the roof, though he was there.

Something was up, his pacing giving that away. Tori wasn't sure if she should say anything, so instead she opted to hang back and give him some space.

[So going to be up studying until 1:00 AM EST, wide awake!]

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker was marginally better for having talked to Jack earlier, but still feeling tired and depressed from the events of the weekend. She headed up to the roof, tired and trying not to think. "Hey, Daisy."

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

"Hey," Anders said quietly when he saw Tori. "What're you doing up here this late?"

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

"Parker, hey," Anders said, trying and completely failing to give her a smile.

[water-wonder.livejournal.com]

Tori shrugged and gave him a small smile. "I'm still very much awake. And I don't have another class until Thursday, so I was trying to figure out what to do with myself." She chuckled a bit. "What about you?"

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"You're smoking and you look like hell and what's wrong?" She walked over and leaned against the same balustrade, watching him. "Tell me."

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you know," Anders said with a shaky laugh, "trying to recover from the trauma of going to hell."

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

"The key word," Anders said slowly, "would be hell. As in I just came back from there."

He didn't want to say more just yet -- he'd start crying on the spot and that would be all kinds of embarrassing.

[water-wonder.livejournal.com]

A concerned look appeared on Tori's face at the mention of hell. "What?" She immediately moved to his side, realizing what that must have meant. "Did this have to do with Bel and the Source?" She hadn't heard much on that after talking with Chris and Wyatt a week ago.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"Oh, no." Parker sucked in a breath, hand tightening on the railing before lifting to draw Anders closer. "Daisy? What happened? Tell me you didn't go alone."

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

Anders nodded. "Yeah. We . . . went there to finish it. He's gone. Both of them are."

[water-wonder.livejournal.com]

"Oh no." Tori had only met Bel on two occassions, but he had seemed nice at the time, even if he was the Source. Still, there had been a good guy trapped in there. "I'm sorry." Tori really didn't know what else to say. "Is there anything I can do?"

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

"And risk you killing me?" Anders drew a shaky breath. "No frakking way. Chris and Wyatt took a bunch of people down -- Angel and Phoebe's sisters came from California. We talked Phoebe around, got her to snap out of it . . . and she and her sisters used a spell to finish it all."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker had been vaguely aware that something weird was going on with Phoebe when she didn't show up at Caritas, but she'd had no idea that she'd been with Bel. "That's... good. Depending on the definition of 'finish' you're using."

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

"I don't know what there is to do now," Anders said slowly. "But there's gonna be a lot of really upset people around here for the next few days, so just . . . be there for them if you can?"

He was, of course, one of those. But he didn't feel like drawing extra attention to the fact.

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

"They took out the Source," Anders said, a definite catch in his voice this time. "Vanquished. And Bel with him."

[water-wonder.livejournal.com]

Tori nodded and offered him a reassuring smile. "I can definitely do that." So much for a happy ending.

She'd be there for him, too. For as long as he needed it. She was his friend and that's what friends were for.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker closed her eyes, relieved and sad at the same time, and dropped her hand to catch Anders. "I'm sorry. So, so sorry."

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

"I'd give you a hug, but I reek right now," Anders told her. "Damn. I'm just . . . it hasn't even really sunk in yet, you know?"

[OOC: Now, with less ridiculous icon.]

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

"There wasn't a way to save him," Anders said dully. "Not that anyone could figure out. I'm pretty sure Bel would rather've died than let the Source keep going on like he did, but that doesn't make it any easier. His girlfriend had to kill him. Chris and Wyatt had to watch. And I . . . kind of want to throw up."

[water-wonder.livejournal.com]

Tori laughed quietly. "I don't mind." She smiled. "Trust me, I was among five boys at home. Three of which raced motobikes." Tori honestly didn't mind one bit.

[OOC: Darn, I liked that one! ;)]

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." Parker squeezed his hand, just standing next to him, and didn't say anything about the cigarettes for several long minutes. "Is this the first time that you've-- lost someone?" She shook her head. "That someone you cared about died," she said, voice softer.

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

"If you're sure," Anders said, going over and cautiously wrapping one arm around her shoulders. "Lords . . . two years ago I just wanted to get a sports scholarship to college and make the pros. Never planned on mounting rescue missions and having to help kill my friends."

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

Anders dropped his cigarette and reached out to cover Parker's hand with his other one. "I barely remember when my grandparents on my mom's side died, so it's not the same," he answered. "And I've had so many close calls with people I cared about here, but that's all they were. Close calls. Thought that luck would hold out, but I guess I was wrong."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"So sorry," she repeated, helpless, getting how Sydney felt eight years ago for the first time. And this is worse in some ways and better in others and there's not much else to say. "Do you want me to go?" Maybe he wants to be alone up here, thinking of Bel. Maybe he doesn't want a reminder of the bad parts standing next to him.