"I'd volunteer myself to cook a dinner for those staying around these parts," Hannibal said, "but that'd just be certain death. Uh, the only thing I can think of is hiring ourselves out for some kind of cheer related singing telegram business. People pay, we go to whoever's room and do a Christmas cheer. Ta da, easy gift."

Hannibal made a face.

"Christmas movies are already warping my mind."