fandomhighdorms | Fourth Floor Common Room | Evening | Monday

It was nice to be back in the dorms where there were walls and doors and bed that he didn't nearly roll off of every single goddamn morning. It was nice to be able to go down the hall and flop down on a comfortable sofa instead of sitting his ass down on a log and risking splinters in that unpadded area. Yes, he had a flat ass, what of it? It came with the skinniness.

In Nathan's opinion, dorms were much better than cabins and, to him, his opinion was gospel. The telly was on but Nathan wasn't really paying attention to the dill, boring drone of the news. He'd gotten an interesting text from Kelly telling him about their new probation worker (called Shaun, apparently) and how he hadn't tried to kill anyone yet. Sally was still missing in action, apparently. Nathan texted Kelly to ask Simon about that because he had the sneaking suspicion that the little pervert was keeping her in his closet but Kelly just told him to shut the fuck up and be nice.

Nathan scoffed at that text and was now trying to get Kelly to admit she missed him. It wasn't going well. And eventually, he got bored and start channel surfing while he waited for Kelly to stop being such a fucking stick in the mud.

"God, I should just read a book if this shit is all the choice I have to watch," he muttered and made a face as he kept flipping channels.

[Open common room, open post]

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"I don't know, I think starting a war with you could be fucking fun," Nathan said, rubbing his chin mock deviously. "Obviously, you're not expecting much from me and I'd take great pleasure in surprising you. I mean, who wouldn't want to have dead fish stuck under their mattress? Not me! That smell is exquisite, let me tell you."

"I'd throw another pillow, but I ran out," Caroline said with a snort. "Besides, a dead fish under my bed, equals you smelling a dead fish for as long as I smell it!"

"Nose plugs!" Nathan announced, sticking a finger in the air. "I'd invest in a healthy supply of nose plugs and I'd put a fucking plastic canopy over my bed for protection. You would be smelling like dead fish, not me."

"And what would I have to do to stop you from going straight for the dead fish?" Caroline asked, kind of horrified at the thought of stinky fish filling their dorm room.

"Start calling me King Nathan."

Yeah, he didn't think that was gonna fly at all but hey, what was the harm in trying, right? Nathan managed to keep a straight face while he asked it even if his eyebrows were twitching with suppressed laughter.

"What are you supposed to be king of, exactly?" Because calling him king and actually letting him rule something were two different things.

"King of Everything!" When in doubt, go with poetry. "Are you here to dispute my monarchy? You don't even come from a country with a fucking queen. So barbaric."

"Please, your queen is basically for show with the whole Constitutional Monarchy thing," Caroline reminded him. "She just chills in her palace and makes rock stars into knights. Totally lame job, but if you wanna be a king, sure, I'll call you king. King of Asses."

"And if anyone asks me why you're calling me the King of Asses, I'm gonna tell them it's because you've deemed my ass tops of all other asses on the island," Nathan decided, touching his tongue to his finger and then pressing it against the back of his pants so he could make a noise like steam rising.

"Trust me, I don't think anyone would question it, oh King of Asses," she teased. Anyone who knew Nathan would probably believe that he was kind of an ass, after all.

"Does that mean I get to dub you as Queen of something?" Nathan wondered, tapping his fingers against his knee. "The obvious ones are just too obvious to be good and I'm never one to do shit people expect me to do so you're not Queen of Vampires, Queen of Blood, Queen of Blondes, or Queen of Cheerleaders with Bouncy Tits."

If he was the King of Asses, she had to be something just as laughable. "Queen of Neurotics."

Caroline gaped, thinking he'd gone a little further than she had with cruelty of naming. "I cannot believe I ever let you touch my breasts," she muttered, reaching for a magazine to hurl at him. She really liked throwing things today.

Nathan managed to bat that magazine away from his head, at least. He didn't need anymore facial injuries for at least a fucking month. He deserved a break.

"Don't pretend you didn't like that!" Nathan laughed, shaking his head. "You did, I know you did! And if I'm an ass, you're neurotic and all the townspeople lived happily ever after. Calm your tits, mate. You know I could have gone much, much cruder. Instead, I just went for creativity!"

Fourth Floor Common Room | Evening | Monday | June 27

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