fandomhighdorms | The Roof, Tuesday evening

The Roof, Tuesday evening

Mr. Caffrey was off somewhere. Doing cat things. He could find his way up to the roof if he needed to. Kenzi, on the other hand, was having fun texting with the FBI, while considering fireworks or other Wes-for-StuCo displays.

I'm sorry, Mr. Caffrey isn't available right now, would you like to leave a message?

What do you mean, Neal's *unavailable*? He hasn't returned my calls for a week! Who is this? Did you kidnap him!?

This is Mr. Caffrey's personal assistant, Kenzi. Mr. Caffrey can't come to the phone right now. But he's totally fine.

Put him on the phone!

Sir, I told you, I can't do that. He's wandered off.

DFLJADDJ!!!

Language! I'm a minor, sir.

Great, Neal left his phone in the hands of the juvenile delinquent. Tell him to CALL ME when he's back. TONIGHT.

I'll make sure he gets the message, sir. Whenever that is.

A little while later, someone named El texted (Please don't give my husband an aneurysm. Tell Neal I said hi) and then Mozzie's Caller ID texted a cryptic note (the suit is unraveling. the crow is in transit. Tuesday is Wednesday) that had Kenzi staring at the phone in fascination.

"I want his life, damnit."

[open, if slightly slowish.]

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She was soon greeted by a slightly ruffled Topher, shirtless and embarrassingly skinny in Tony's pajama pants. Which, wow, totally sent the wrong idea, didn't it? Too bad he didn't notice.

"Ramona and New Kate have declared war on me," he proclaimed darkly. "We have to retaliate before they strike."

As evidence, he played his three latest voicemails.

Why he thought Ramona and Natalie were to blame was beyond human comprehension.

"Aren't you chilly?" Kenzi responded, unable not to grin as she listened, and wondering at the Topher logic. Who was Ramona? Who was New Kate? "And you're no longer a lemur. About time."

"Kinda," Topher said, shrugging. The pajamas were of surprisingly nice fabric! "That's to the chilly part. The lemur part, no. I am not that."

He held up one hand as if imparting wisdom, then informed Kenzi, "Tony Stark should never be permitted to raise pets."

Such was the decree of the half-naked King Topher.

"...because he dresses them in designer pajamas?"

Kenzi had to wonder about that. Seriously.

"Because he lets girls come in his room," Topher sulked. Because of course Kenzi was not a girl. "And! In class today, we were talking about eating lemurs. Not very sensitive!"

...Not really Tony's fault, though.

Also, he refused to Pooper-Scoop, but that was hardly something to share.

Kenzi stared at him a moment, willing him to get it. Yeah, not happening, she was gonna bet.

"No, not very," she agreed, personally thinking his team lucked out with the easy answer of fry the lemur right there. "Professor Skywalker was mean. Very mean. You poor mammal." All teachers were mean. Mostly.

Another text came through: Neal, are you just pretending to be a 17-year-old girl? Kenzi snickered.

"Why does Tony let girls in your room?" she asked in mystified tones. Like that wasn't at all obvious.

"I don't knoooow!" It was a mystery all right. It was not a mystery, however, regarding what Topher's lemur self had done in response to spotting the girl: hid. "And then he didn't make me the video game controller, and..."

It was just tragic. Just tragic.

"Wait. Now I have opposable thumbs!" Um, duh. "I can totally go do stuff!"

"Like make me a robot! With a camera! And an invisibility cloak! Oh no no wait you need to help me with Wes's campaign!" Kenzi said, reaching over to poke his bare arm. "You were a lemur this whole time and that was really inconvenient!"

TOUCHING, THOUGH!

Topher leapt back like a crazy leaping thing (also known as a lemur), but he was just as excited as she was. Possibly more so. Was ADHD contagious?

"Okay! I have a robot camera you can use!" Yes, just yell that to the heavens, Topher. "Who's Wes?"

~~And the playercest begun.~~

Edited 2011-09-07 02:37 (UTC)

That was hilarious and now Kenzi was so, so sad she hadn't tracked him down to take funny pictures of him while he actually *was* a lemur. Damn.

"He's a senior and my big sib and he's running for Student Council. With Quinn," Kenzi added, grumbling. "But I'm going to make it more about him, even if he wants to be her dance partner or whatever. I need that robot camera to do it. Tomorrow? Yes? Please? Why are you wearing Tony's pajamas?"

Just slip that one in there, see if it gets a reaction.

Topher did not much care for his own big sib, nor for politics, but whatever, he liked knowing his robot camera babies were getting some use. And not just for whatever secret boringness Peter used them for.

"He gave them to me," Topher said, fiddling with the drawstring. STILL TOO LOOSE! "I, uh. Needed pants."

"Because your own were at the cleaners?" Always an option!

"If I record a ton of action-y things, can you mash them up into a cool video for me? There's Jell-O in it for you."

"Nah. Just didn't have any."

Then Topher shrugged in agreement. But in a surprising display of self-preservation, he clarified, "Anonymously, okay?"

...How odd.

[[Heading to sleeeeep!]]

Edited 2011-09-07 02:50 (UTC)

Kenzi's eyebrows went up. He was learning! Wow! "Sure. This one is for the accomplishment, not the glory, right?"

Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. "What, you sleep in your clothes?

Damnit.

Another text: So help me, Neal, if I don't hear from you in 24 hours... Don't make me come down there!

Kenzi texted back: You sound like his dad!

[niiiiight!]

Edited 2011-09-07 02:54 (UTC)

Topher was so confused by this line of questioning. SO CONFUSED. "No, it was the lemur thing," he explained. "Lemurs don't wear clothes."

Duh, Kenzi. Duh.

Distracted, he peered over to see what Kenzi was texting. Spotting the caller ID, he said, "Ooh! Is that Peter? Tell him hi."

Pause. "Ohhhh. You are so lucky you weren't hanging from a window when you changed back." Giggling. Much giggling.

She gave Topher a deadpan look, and texted, Topher says HI!

Peter Burke seemed to take a moment, then texted back: Who the hell is Topher?

"Thaaat is true," Topher agreed. Because hanging from a window was not something that he, in all his horrible awkwardness, would know how to deal with.

Glancing at the phone, he frowned. "Some other Peter?"

How astute.

Kenzi was so so tempted to tell him Peter forgot who he was, but that would just be mean. "Mr. Caffrey has a friend named Peter." Beat. Pause. Waaait. "He works for the F.B.I."

Topher's a bud. He's not in Mr. Caffrey's classes.

Why is he saying hi to me?

"Never heard of him," Topher said. As if there had even been a chance that he would have.

Hang on.

"So... that's a teacher's phone?"

"Uh-hunh." She grinned. "He knows I have it. He's got stuff to do, so I'm taking messages."

He thought you were his man-crush. Don't worry. I enlightened him.

Topher happened to peer over and see that one and exclaimed, "Hey! I did not! I mean, I don't have a man-crush!"

Dude, you were wearing a different guy's pajamas. The Man Crush ship had sailed.

He says the other Peter is not his man-crush. Perhaps it is Tony.

I do NOT want to know this!

Kenzi blinked at Topher innocently. "I'm sorry, so what is the nature of your relationship with Peter Wiggen? I'll clear that up for Peter F.B.I."

Predictably, Topher's response was a strangled squeak.

"Well -- you -- I mean -- shut up!"

Kenzi zipped her lips with a sad look, then quickly texted, So, what do you want to know?

Where is Neal?

Boring. Try again! Also, Topher says it is not a man-crush. You and the rest of D.C. should know that.

"So why is your number on the girl's bathroom wall again?"

Topher was flummoxed by that question.

"My -- what -- on the -- what?"

BAD TONY. VERY BAD.

"Someone left 'for a good time call' and then your phone number. I nearly died when I saw that." Laughing. Laughing a lot at the time.

"OHHHHH!" THAT EXPLAINED SO MUCH. "That's why those girls kept calling me! So it wasn't Ramona and New Kate plotting against me."

Imagine that!

"Unless they looked it up and did it. Are they the chicks that punched you?" Kenzi asked, texting again.

Mr. Caffrey has makes me get him coffee. Is that illegal?

No. STOP TEXTING ME.

"Nah, one of them sounded English." Canadian, Topher. The word was Canadian. "And the other one was, like, all proper. Definitely not Ramona or Kate."

He peered over at the phone. "I think he wants you to stop."

GOOD NIGHT MR.FBI! SERVE AND PROTECT!

Kenzi finally shut down the phone on that note, but couldn't resist texting El, whoever she was (Neal is a cat right now. Mr. Burke might be irritated) before that.

"Hunh. Well, they can read. They may have not gotten the idea. You can always call them back?" Just to see Topher flail at the idea.

A fine idea, Kenzi. Very astute indeed.

"...Nooooooooo," he decided after a long pause. "No. I'll pass. Thanks."

He would try later.

"Your loss." She looked at him in the pajama bottoms and shook her head. "Now. Camera robots. And a shirt. We should look into that for you."

Topher nodded, effectively convinced. "Let's do that," he agreed.

And so he set off to do just that!

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The Roof, Tuesday evening

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