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"Zero! You're alive! What the hell did you think you were doing?!"

Just barely! *examines the scorched hem of her dress* It was for science?

"Dolt! Science! Are you nuts?! What happened to you?! You look like a reject from Monty Python and the Holy Grail!"

*glares* So not funny, Marty, you really have no idea.

"Oh well excuse me for asking Zero. So what exactly did you find out? That 327 is a dangerous thing to use? *I* could have told you that."

"Dolt."

Well if my squallin' safety line hadn' snapped there wouldn' have been a problem now would there? Instead I spend two weeks runnin' from farmers!!

Marty crosses his arms and continues to scold Zero.

"There wouldn't be a *need* for a safety line if you had bothered to *remember* that the locker is a dimensional nexus that connects to various realities and time periods. What exactly did you expect to see?"

*crosses her arms and glares up at him* I knew the locker was a dimensional portal. I wanted to try to figure out how it worked, an' the only way I could think of to do that was to observe it in action. I couln' very well ask someone else to jump, now could I?

(ooc: We've come a long way from, "Keep it down!" *gun to head*...)

"Haven't you ever seen an episode of ~~Star Wars~~ ~~Stargate~~ Star Trek?! You send in a probe first that relays information back to you in a nice safe environment!"

[OOC: Starts playing the theme from "All in the Family"
Boy the way Glenn Miller played...]

I didn' have any probes! Where would I get somethin' like that, anyway?

"I dunno! Our shop teacher found holographic equipment on ebay! How hard could it be?!"

*looks wibbly* I screwed up an' I'm sorry everyone was worried.

*Pats shoulder*

"Just don't do that again."

I won't be. Believe me on that one.

Parker is just nodding along with her arms crossed to most of this.

Zero? Oh my god! You're alive! Did you really go into the locker? *thwaps her* Were you absolutely insane?

Ow! Hey! Enough wit' the hittin'!

I didn' know I was gonna get stuck!

"You *TWINK HEAD!* You're alive!" Parker says, stepping into her path, then pauses. "Oh dear god. What are you wearing?"

Marty looks at Parker with concern. "Apparently she's gone mute and is totally frozen. I didn't think 327 could do that."

Marty pokes Zero on the shoulder to see if she'll react.

"Maybe we need some punk music to snap her out of it."

*smacks Marty* Hey now!

*pokes back*

"Well if you weren't acting all statue-like!"

I was not actin' all statue-like, I'm just tired! You try runnin' from villagers for three days straight!

"After we're done giving her a hard time. Suicidal bravery shouldn't be rewarded with the Ramones."

*looks hopeful*

"No! Bad punk rocker! No Ramones for you!"

*wibbles at him* They had bagpipes.

_{"What do you think, some Violent Femmes, if she promises to get her head examined?"}

They thought I was a squallin' witch!! They tried to burn me! If I spoke Middle English it might not've been so bad.... *plucks at her dress*

"Did they dress you like that? Because if so, we can go back and kill them." Parker makes a face. "Come on. Let's get you out of that stuff and into normal clothes because the smell of smoke makes me want a cigarette, damnit, and that's just *wrong*."

I had to steal it from somebody 'cause in my old skirt they kept thinkin' I was a whore. Normal clothes would be really swerval.

*glances around* How long was I gone? Did they give Jubilee a new roommate?

"Okay, you do remember I'm getting over an ulcer, right?"

"No, no, it's only Sunday. Five days. And I am going to have Marty play 'I told you so' on a kazoo as soon as I'm done being relieved, by the way."

I thought it'd been long enough for you to be better, but...guess not. I think it'd been a couple weeks or so.

Please, Parker, not a kazoo.

Parker softens. A little. "Okay, maybe not a kazoo. Maybe just a harmonica." She starts herding Zero toward her own room. "Dear God. Shower. Clothes. Food? Tell me they fed you before they tried to burn you. Lie if you have to."

Yeah, they fed me. Some kinda porridge...gruel, maybe?

I lost my camera.

"That sucks. So does losing the camera. The pictures would've been worth millions." She shakes her head. "Do you still have your room keys? Or are we going to have to hope Jubilee's there, or ask Scooter to let you in?"

My key's in my shoe.

"At least that's one easy thing. Look, do you want me to order up some food? There's banquets everywhere, we can score some brownies or something after you're cleaned up...."

Parker can't stop herself any more. She's not hugging Zero, but she had to tug on her hair. "Don't you ever get that curious even with a guide rope again. You freaked me *out*."

*tiny hopeful voice* Is there gazpacho?

I'm sorry I worried everyone. Did anybody contact my parents? They must be freakin' out. An'...oh. *looks around* Did Arsenal or Rat show up for Parents' Weekend?

"_{I don't know. I'll have 'em check, okay?}"

"I don't think they did-- you were only gone five days, they usually give it a week at least, especially since we *knew* where you'd gone, you didn't just vanish.

"I don't know if Arsenal or Rat showed, I've been dealing with my own parental-figure-issues."

*tugs hair again*

*calls down to cafeteria for gazpacho*

Thank you.

Oh, good, they'd go mad. An, well...I figured it was a long shot they'd show, anyway. They're both busy right now.

"Yeah. I know how that goes." Parker pats Zero gingerly on the shoulder, then points to the bathroom, and shoves some sweats at her. "Shower. Now. We'll give the clothes to Sunshine."

P'raps she can make puppets out of them.

Oh, hey, how'd your family thing go? Your da was comin', yeah?

"Okay, there's another mental image I didn't need." Parker bites her lip. "Daddy couldn't make it. But Syd's here, and he's having fun. Maybe you can meet him later."

Oh, I'm sorry. That sucks, Pinkie. *heads toward bathroom* I'd love to meet Syd. Whoever he is...