fandomhighdorms | South Attic, Early afternoon: after Study Hall

For the first time in what seemed like weeks, Beka smiled. Really smiled. Not the smile that lit her face but not her eyes. No, the real one that Illyana had said she was missing.

She had a Weekend Pass. She could come and go off this muddy rock as she pleased for 48 beautiful hours. Sleep, rest, stargaze...do a little piracy...

Maybe find someone to play with who didn't have fangs, throw fireballs, or otherwise want to kill her.

First she had to do some work for newspaper, though. She had enough for the ABC portion of the article anyway, thanks to Anders, and maybe Cally could fill her in some. So she flopped down on her bed to work, keeping thoughts of murders, vampires, promises to demons who wanted to kill witches, witches who might want to resoul vampires, and pretty much everything to do with Kitty Pryde as far from her mind as possible.

It wasn't far, but it was far enough to let her work.

[ooc: Though this post is more intended for mood-setting, door's open, water's fine - particularly for Buffy, Illyana, Bel, or Phoebe. Please ping me first if you want to come by and get in her face. I'm willing, but I'd like to know first.]

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"I'd go with pushing this entire month out. Why stop at a week?" she said agreeably, still happy with her weekend pass. "What's got you so growly?"

"Angelus," he said shortly, then began ticking points off on his fingers. "Padme going home. Gremlins stealing my damn bell. Fucking cross-dressing in front of half the school." He looked at her. "You not telling me how you'd managed to bruise your own ribs."

"Gremlins stole your bell? I missed that part. Got some nice pictures of the slaying costume though." Beka coughed at Anakin's glower. "Right, ribs. Well, it's kind of a funny story..."

Anakin looked at her. Blinked. "I love how everyone was so concerned for my wellbeing that they immediately went for their cameras rather than someone from the medclinic." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Right. Funny story. Go."

"I was thinking of you, Anakin, really. Figured you'd want proof."

Beka sighed. "OK, it's not a funny story. Not really. I was trying to stop a friend from doing something stupid, and that friend, who wasn't exactly in right mind at the time, tried to throw me off. It was an accident. Plain and simple."

"Suuure you were," Anakin replied.

His eyebrows raised. "You have a friend who's so strong that trying to throw you off bruised your ribs." He glared. "Accident or no, unacceptable."

He stood up and began pacing. "Does this friend have a name?"

"I was. I'll even give them to you," she teased. "For Christmas."

Beka crossed her arms over her chest. "Anakin, you're my friend. Not my keeper. I have another friend. That friend was in a bad way. I helped. I got hurt. End of story."

"Really not necessary," he replied.

"It's really not the end of the story, Beka, and you and I both know it. Friends don't give friends bruises." He stared at her. "At least not where I come from."

Beka didn't back down. "Suppose you were drunk and angry, An. I would get between you and anything you were angry at. Because come morning, you'd hate yourself if you hurt someone. You might easily hurt me, but it wouldn't stop me from trying."

She met his gaze, no anger in her eyes or her tone. "You know me. I'd much rather I got hurt than someone else. Please. I'm asking you to respect that."

"Uh-huh." Anakin was in no way convinced. "There's a difference between being helpful and being foolhardy. I'm fairly certain you leaped over that line. I'm pretty sure you know that, too." He stalked towards the door. "But you obviously don't trust me enough to tell me about it."

Beka sighed. "Anakin. It's not that I don't trust you. I protect my friends. I'd do the same for you." In a heartbeat.

"Don't go. It's been such an awful week already... Please?"

Anakin leaned his head against the door and sighed. It really had been a long week. He turned around and looked into her eyes. "This friend of yours..." his voice went flat. He had no idea who she would think would need protection against him. "Fine. I'll drop it. For now."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I have a bad feeling about all of this. It feels like...darkness." His eyes looked haunted for a brief second before he regained control. "Deception. Anger. None of it good."

Beka smiled, softly, appreciatively. "Come back in, An. I'm a terrible hostess, but I'll get you something if you want it."

He looked so impossibly conflicted. And so hurt. Like she felt. "There is a lot of darkness." She sighed and asked the one question she'd been avoiding all day. "Do you think he did it?"

Anakin looked deeply uncomfortable and didn't move from his spot by the door. "I don't know. I'd like to hope not. Because if I missed something that evil when it sat right in front of me..." he made a face. "I'd be the worst Jedi ever."

Beka frowned at him. "If you're the worst Jedi ever?" She shook her head. "If you're the worst Jedi ever, then they must be impossibly good people."

A long sigh, and then, "I don't believe he did it. Vampire or no, it just doesn't seem like something he'd do. Not here."

Anakin stared at the floor for a long moment. "I hope he didn't do it. I like him. But if he did, justice must be served." He looked very young, and very sad. "Emotions have no place in that."

For the first time since she'd heard the news, Beka allowed herself to think how she'd feel if Angelus had done it.

"I hope so too, Anakin. A lot. Because I really don't want to think about what it would say about me that I... " She looked away. "I just hope he didn't do it."

Anakin looked at his hands. "Obi-Wan said..." He sighed. "Obi-Wan said a lot of things. Especially after the JA meeting." He looked out into the distance. "And we spent a lot of time this weekend discussing darkness. Its appeal. Its power." He stared at Beka. "Its absolute ruthlessness."

Beka nodded, gaze clouding. "It pulls at me so hard sometimes. The darkness. The desire for power."

Breaking away from Anakin's laser gaze, she stared at the floor, the worn rug frayed by so many crossings. "That's what I wanted to see Mr. Phale about." She brought her chin up, almost defiant. "Finding my way. He's an angel."

"An angel?" Anakin smiled softly. "When I first saw..." He stopped. That wasn't a memory he was willing to share with anyone.

"The darkness, when it's just you and it..." He looked very serious. "Not even an angel can help you then. That's all you. Inner strength. Guides can help, but when it comes down to it, it's your choice." He shuddered and yanked at his braid. "And the fall...it's forever."

Moved here. (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fandomhighdorms/272525.html?thread=10122381#t10122381)

South Attic, Early afternoon: after Study Hall

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