fandomhighdorms | Outside of the Principal's Office, late Monday night

If someone would've been hanging out by Principal Finn's office in the late hours of Monday evening, they might have seen a shrub wearing distinctly pirate-y boots hopping down the hallway carrying a piles of tapes in its branches.

If shrubs could hop, of course, or carry things. Or have access to the pirate's secret stash of embarrassing events that had happened over the course of the school year.

A carefully edited selection of those events had been copied and were now labeled "audition-type tapes". They even had some helpful notes on them:

Logan-who-used-t'be-a-bunny: He used t'be a bunny. If that be not dramatic, I be not knowin' drama.

Edward Elric: He be blowin' up common rooms. I be thinkin' the stage be a more productive-type outlet fer him.

Jack Harkness: He be gettin' leather pants fer his birthday. I be bettin' the wenches be more than happy t' see this play if he be wearin' them.

Sakura Kinomoto: Her life be entirely too quiet. Some time wit' the rest o' these ~~miscreants~~ ~~pirates~~ students will be makin' her more acclimated-like t' Fandom. Or drivin' her 'round the bend. I be okay wit' either one, really.

Alex Krycek: He be havin' "mine" written on his forehead. Clearly he be a fan o' self-expression. Be not actin' another form o' self-expression?

Vala Mal Doran: She be givin' quite the explanation o' Christmas durin' the pageant. She be needin' t' spend more time on stage.

Anakin Skywalker: He be a fine Annie, a terrific Marcia 'n not terrible banthabell player, as far as I be knowin' that type o' music. Also he'd hate t' be involved. Therefore, he be needin' t' be in this play.

The tapes were deposited in the golf cart that seemed to be passing as an inbox these days.

The shrub hopped back down the hallway.

Again, if shrubs could hop. Which they can't.