fandomhighdorms | Second floor common room, Tuesday evening

Parker gave him a sanity-questioning look, then slooowly said, "Nick. Bottom. In the play. Midsummer Night's Dream. You got cast. And I would only speculate on your sex life if I was part of it." She tipped him a smirk.

"If you were part of it, hopefully you wouldn't have to spec-- I WHAT?" He questioned her sanity right back, only louder, and with eyebrows. "Somebody's on crack here, and if it's me, the high is so not what everybody makes it out to be."

"Don't tell me. You didn't audition," Parker said dryly. "And yet, you're up there on the list as the guy whose head gets turned into an ass."

"Oh good, we're back to the body parts." Xander shook his head. "Of course I didn't audition. Jesus, I still have cold-sweat nightmares about standing up on the stage at sunnydale High in a toga. What makes you think I would willingly go near a play at this school?"

"The fact that I *saw* you up there, giving a reading?" Parker rolled her eyes. "Tell me, did you do anything to piss off Jake Gavin in the last week or so?" Then she looked interested. "Toga? Reeeeally."

"It was a totally nonconsensual toga. Principal issues."

Xander looked down at his shirt. His recently-missing and only this morning returned to him by the boyfriend of one Gavin, comma, Jake, shirt.

"..."

"..."

"...Son of a BITCH!"

"And the Jakinator strikes again." Parker tilted her head, trying not to laugh. "He got Callisto too, if that's any help." She sighed. "So, yeah. You're playing opposite me." She raised an eyebrow at him. "Sort of."

"What the hell did I even do to him?" Xander asked, gesturing spastically with both hands. "He can't seriously have gotten me into this because I happend to be in the same room when his boyfriend went on a kissing spree? I was barely even paying attention."

"...."

Good thing Xander's not telepathic. The words sure you didn't wouldn't really be helpful at this juncture.

"And the word I'm looking for is, anyway. So... I don't think Jake needs much cause. He's kind of a reflexive revenge guy. Callisto didn't do anything more, and he auditioned her too." Parker shrugged. "How bad can this be? I'm just annoyed the play is so goofy."

"Parker, did you just seriously, in all honesty, utter the words 'How bad can this be' out LOUD? Around here?"

Parker thought back, then palmed her face. "Frak me."

"I have you penciled in for Easter," Xander said absently. "Gah! There's gotta be a way out of this. This guy isn't Smith -- or Snyder, thank God -- he won't make us go through with it, will he?"

"I honestly have no idea. Although I do worry about what he'll propose as an alternative." Parker sighed. "You could try? And let me know how that works out?" Her lips might be twitching. "Only pencil?"

"Hey, my calendar's on the laptop; pen won't wipe off the screen."

Xander grimaced. "Somebody up there's decided this is Xander's day to get got. First I manage to land my first-ever Fandom High detention, and now this. It's gonna mean actually exchanging words with the principal. I had a lucky streak going, man. This would've been three in a row."

Parker snickered at the screen reference, then said, "Too bad. You can have some of my karma, since I had to deal with the last two and at least survived. What did you get detention for?"

"Interfering in the eternal Crichton/Skeeter ~~OTP~~ battle; she turned John into a hat this morning. I kind of...stuck him on her head."

He was doing, if he said so himself, which he didn't because that would require thinking about it, an admirable job of repressing ~~many things~~ his knowledge of who was running detention this weekend.

"Priceless!" Parker was chortling. "Oh, God, I've never even met her and I *loathe* her. Really, really good." She snickered. "So who are you stuck with? Dr. Pierson was last weekend, and at least they got to make beer. It's not Skeeter, is it?"

You're not helping with the repression, he thought, amazingly, given his usual track-record with such things, not out loud.

"No, it's not Skeeter, thank God. 'Cause I have no burning desire to be a hat. Or a stickbug."

"Mmm. There's an image. A row of hats, which she then perches on stickbugs." Parker shook her head. "That woman has issues. But at least it's not Crazy Squid Lady. Who is probably hell and gone from here, if the radio got one thing right." She let the question of who was running detention go, figuring Xander wasn't sure.

"By the way, someone said you know the guy who runs the new bookstore? And that he used to be a ... Watcher?"

Xander nodded. "Now-standard Sunnydale disclaimer of he's not from the same time as me, but yeah. Giles is a big-time monster-knowing-about-guy."

"Hmmm." Parker bit her lower lip, thinking. "Would he be amenable to questions about that? Or is he like all those Watchers who wrote those stupid journals, 'the Slayer is a weapon', blahdy blah wah?"

Xander shook his head. "Really not. Like 'get fired for telling the rest of the Watchers exactly where they could stick the weapon Buffy wasn't.'

Parker grinned. "Cool. I think I'd like to meet this guy. And what the hell, I need a copy of Midsummer Night's Dream anyway. I'll call you before I go over there, and see if you're free. No reason to freak your friend out when I ask him about vampires."

Xander made a face. "I will too, if I can't get Principal Dewey to let me out of this... Jake-hell. Who is such a dead mutant-man, by the way."

"Heh. I'll sell tickets. And popcorn." Parker grinned. "I understand he can take a lot of punishment. Should be enough left of him after you get through to make Callisto happy. Maybe I'll just set up a booth for it." She yawned. "Right. Bedtime for Her Freakin' Majesty. I'll see you tomorrow, Harris."

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soldtoarmenians - 2006-02-22 08:05 (UTC) - Expand