fandomhighdorms | Second Floor Common Room

"Oh, wow." Parker was standing in the doorway, smiling in delight. "I was completely right. Stop that. You don't want to hurt yourself. Look! For real this time! Naked guys climbing on the TV screen!"

"Ok, that 'droll' comment? You realize that was sarcasm, right?" He was so not looking.

Parker sighed, and walked around to where he was pounding his head on the wall, then leaned against it, close enough to almost whisper. "Which would bother you more? That the TV is broadcasting your brainwaves, or what those brainwaves are?"

"I have to choose? I can't be equally bothered by these two simultaneously not-actually-happening concepts?"

Parker sighed, rolling her eyes, then peeked around the corner. "Well, it's safe to look now. The naked rock-climbing guys are gone. It's back to pretty bunnies."

Xander stopped the headbanging, more because it was starting to hurt than because he entirely believed her. He peered cautiously around the doorframe, fully expecting to be greeted by some traumatizing sight or other.

Nope, bunnies. The big pink Energizer guy and four or five smaller ones rolling around him in circles, banging on tiny drums.

"I'm... pleasantly shocked," he reported. "Just bunnies. No naked."

Well, no naked until he said it. Then the screen blipped, and there were bunnies, but only on the little station-identification logo in the bottom right corner. Most of what filled the screen was--

"GAH! Naked!" Xander flailed an arm and covered his eyes. He hadn't gotten a great look at what kind of naked it was - he thought he'd glimpsed one of each, but who cared because the point was NAKED in direct response to his thinking it.

"I think my point has now been conclusively proven," Parker said dryly, reaching for his flailing arm. "Bunnies, naked: ergo, Playboy bunnies. At least you don't flunk word association."

"But...naked. On the tv!" The thought was more complex in Xander's head, and involved how this kind of naked bunny wasn't usually disturbing to him but how was he ever supposed to go into a room with a television and other humans in it again if there was always going to be naked happening that could be traced to him, and also WTF, Flying Spaghetti Monster, WTF, and also yes, naked shower guy was disturbing for myriad reasons. MYRIAD.

The English translation of which was apparently "Naked..." because that's all that came out when he tried to speak again, in kind of a pathetic whimper.

"Xander? Harris!" Parker shook his arm, but he just kept staring at her, wide-eyed and kind of pathetic. If he'd been Broots, he'd have gotten slapped for the continued whimpering.

That was only Parker's second-favorite way of dealing with hysterics.

She braced one arm on the wall behind him, then used the other to grab his jaw, and stepped forward. No warning, just: bamph. She slid her mouth along his, the edge of her tongue tracing the seam of his lips before just going for it. Pressure, heat, tongue, zoooooom!

It was very hard to flail, or even say 'Buh?' while being kissed. Well, at least while being kissed by Parker; Xander figured he could probably manage flailing if Sunshine the squid kissed him. Then again maybe not because he'd be too worried about trying to breathe underwater.

Granted there was some similarity between his current situation and that last thing, but this was a weirdly pleasant kind of drowning.

For the sake of his pride, he thought 'Buh' as he instinctively returned the pressure of her lips against his, but he thought it pretty quietly. It's possible not even the TV heard him.

More pressure, a bit more heat, tongue, then a slow drawing away of his lower lip, before letting it go.

Parker waited for his eyes to focus, then smiled at him. "Hi. Welcome back. Breathing okay now?"

Xander blinked once, then again, then said, "Apparently. I even seem to be able to pronounce the word hyperventilate. Also 'polysyllabic.' It's entirely possible I can even play the saxophone now."

He glanced in the door at the tv screen - which was showing Smile Time now. Possibly because it was the second place he'd ever heard the word 'polysyllabic.'

"Also it occurs to me that if I can make this thing not go off whenever it feels like, it could be the Best Randomly-Appearing Power Ever. Also, that was nice; thank you."

"You better be talking about the kiss. I am *not* nice, damnit!" Despite her words, Parker's grin widened. "Ohhhh. You're going to have fun with it *now*, are you? I reserve the right to throw random pillows at you based on what's onscreen. Don't make me regret cluing you in, Xander," she growled only semi-threateningly. "A chair to your head beats TV remote control any day."

"I would never, ever accuse you of being nice ~~out loud~~, Parker. I have great fondness for all the attachments that came with my body, no matter how often they do or don't get used."

Xander peered in the door again. "I think we only get to 'fun with it' after I master the basics of 'only on command, thank you.' "

He blinked. "That came out dirtier than I thought it would."

"And let me just savor the implications of that phrase for a moment." Parker kept a wide, evil grin on her face, then shrugged. "Okay, moment over. But let me know if you need help with your training."

Any images of leashes and collars that her intonation brings to mind are just in your head. Yup.

No, they're pretty much on the TV too.

Xander peeked, then covered his eyes. "Ok, clearly still on Step One here. Parker, you probably don't wanna know, if you ever want to be able to look Professor Pierson ~~zomg NWS~~ in the eyes again. What is it with all these actors that look like our teachers? Unless it is him, and then I don't wanna know."

Parker immediately looked, then wished she hadn't. "Oh, that's just cruel, damnit. That's like two of my top three kinks, plus Dr. Pierson, and ... how does your brain even *find* these things?"

Xander flailed, but in a controlled manner. "I should know? I don't even know where this is coming from." He peeked gingerly through his fingers and was luckily rewarded with a shot of a woman in dominatrix gear rather than the librarian lookalike. "I'm not making it up; there's station logo on it. It's really playing somewhere."

"Lemme try to change it to something on purpose." He frowned and squinted, but nothing happened. "No joy. Dammit. What'm I missing here?"

"It's an impulse control thing, I think. Two words mesh in your head, and suddenly, we get station identification. It amuses me that all roads lead to porn, but it's not really surprising." Parker shook her head. "Tell it to change to something specific?"

It was at that moment (and let's all be thankful it wasn't moments before, with traumatizing wallkissy) that Rory wandered out of the common room.

She paused, glancing between Parker and Xander, and then, due to an earlier conversation with Jaye and Bridge, said the first thing that came to mind.

"Are you being brave like soldiers?"

"No, we are not being brave like soldiers ~~because soldiers tend to get court-martialed for traumatizing wallkissy on duty~~, and will that song ever die?" Xander answered. "It's been out of the top 40 for weeks now; I'll bet they're not even playing the video anymore."

Which gave him a thought -- he concentrated on the MTV logo, and gave the tv screen a hard glance.

And it flipped.

To MTV.

"Woohoo!" Xander said. Then he coughed, covering his mouth. "I mean, see, MTV happens to be on, and no sign of that damn--"

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now...

"Ghhhhhaahhhhh..."

"It's the best song ever - " Rory started before pausing and turning to look back at the TV. "Okay, that's just weird. Talk about creepy timing, huh?"

Of course, being startled, Rory lost a leg as she said this, and was forced to lean against a wall.

"I'm falling apart. I'm a someone broken. This is SO my song."

"Don't worry, Rory, I'm here to hold you, someone broken that you are and all." Bridge says, picking up Rory's leg and passing it to her helpfully.

"Thank you, Bridgey," Rory said, reattaching the leg ~~and yes, she's wearing a skirt and no, you can't see up it~~. "Just let me hold you when we both fall down, okay?" She frowned. "Lots of holding in this song."

Parker started giggling, and couldn't stop. She didn't look at Xander, because then she would've gone to pieces even more spectacularly than Rory, but she did pat him on the arm. "I think my work here is done. For tonight, anyway."

Re: NFB, for now, OMG

soldtoarmenians - 2006-02-25 09:13 (UTC) - Expand

Re: NFB, for now, OMG

mparkerceo.livejournal.com - 2006-02-26 00:20 (UTC) - Expand

Second Floor Common Room - RT's Wake

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