Outside the dorms, Tuesday night

[can_be_more]

After leaving Zhaan's, Aeryn just starts walking and stops as soon as she realizes she's gone directly to the dorms. She didn't mean to, but she just sort of ended up here. Which is probably a mistake, since she doesn't really want to deal with anyone at the moment. Security might escort her out, anyway. To be honest, she doesn't know why she doesn't even just turn back at the gates.


[Locked to John, zomg.]

Comments

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John's about to go to sleep for the night when the call (http://whitedeathpod.livejournal.com/1532.html?thread=3195644#t3195644) comes in.

For a minute, he thinks it's one of those crappy practical jokes. But, from the times he's met Zhaan, he knows she wouldn't do that.

As soon as he can pull on his shoes, which is rather difficult with cuts on his feet and a bandaged hand, he's limping out the door, out of the dorms and towards Zhaan's shop.

He's not even thinking of the possibility that she's back for real. Not even thinking...

[can_be_more]

Aeryn's almost ready to turn around and go back to Zhaan's when she sees someone heading towards her, and just kind of knows. Because yes, he would come after her, and she should have figured he would. Even if he hated her a little.

She's standing there in her uniform with dried blood on her hands and stiff movements and the same bag she left with, and she's not going anywhere.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John's not looking up when she sees him. Instead, he's cursing at his feet and grimacing and hating that he threw his shoes. Because, dammit.

"Stupid shoes, stupid feet, stupid bandages that don't help," he grumbles.

So, when he finally stops cursing and looks up, he does see her...and he knows that it's true. She's there, she's alive and she's there.

And right now, John feels light headed. "Are you real?" John asks carefully.

[can_be_more]

Maybe before she would have hit him to prove that she is, but that's not going to happen right now. So she nods in reply.

Especially when she looks him over and has to ask, "What happened?" Two weeks. She can't be gone two frelling weeks without something happening.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"What?" John shakes his head and brings his bandaged hand into her view. "You left," he blurts out. "You don't remember that?"

[can_be_more]

"No," she says, gesturing at his hand with her own. "What. Happened." She isn't adverse to killing anyone she has to right now, either. It might be catharsis.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

When she gestures, he notices the blood on her hands and pales slightly. "No," he says back to her. "You're the one with the blood. What. Happened."

[can_be_more]

Exactly what she knew would happen, actually. And so she sets her jaw and says, "Torture and death, woo hoo. Why are you limping?"

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Because I have an ouchie," he snaps. "Are you all right?"

[can_be_more]

"No," she snaps back, and is suprised this is the first time she's actually let herself get upset since everything happened. "If I was all right, I wouldn't be here."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John tries to stay angry but fails miserably. So, he shakes his head and lowers his voice and takes one step closer, still wincing. "What's wrong? Aeryn, what's wrong?"

[can_be_more]

It's either get angry or start crying and Aeryn's not ready for that second thing yet. She sticks with the first. "You wanted me back, you've got me back," she tells him.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John purses his lips and clenches his fists. Well, he tries to clench his fists but hey bandage.

"That makes me sound like some consolation prize. A choice you didn't want but had to take," John says quietly.

[can_be_more]

"Don't you dare talk to me about choices," Aeryn tells him. "For a day that's all I heard, that I was leaving because I chose to. Fine. I chose not to defect from service and die for it. Which was the one thing no one wanted to hear because it meant they didn't get their way. Well, fine. I chose between the two again and this," she says, holding up one hand, "is what happens for it. This is what I was trying to tell you. So don't bring up consolation prizes because it was never about that."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Did you expect me to not want you to go? Is that what you thought?" John asks. "That I wasn't supposed to be upset and hurt and sad because hey, person I loved was leaving and yeah, I don't have to put up a fight because she's doing back to something she loved and that makes me feel all kinds of good about this. What do you want from me? What?" John asks, flinging his arms wide.

[can_be_more]

Amazingly, what Aeryn catches in all that is the past tense on one word. "I want you to understand that I didn't have any reasonable choice!" she yells back. "You never wanted to hear what my life was like so why would you know what would happen to me if I didn't go back? I'm so controlled by these people, right? They yell and I come running? You wanted me to make a choice? You got your wish. And for it, I should be worse than dead right now."

Calm now, she asks, "Or are you going to blow that off again like it's nothing?"

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John tries to retatliate to that, tries to come up with something but nothing comes.

So, he settles for turning sideways and kicking a rock. Which hurts. "Goddammit," he snaps. "Goddammit. You were gone. You have been gone. You left and you were gone and you didn't say goodbye and I've been living with that for two weeks now. Two miserable, fricking weeks. Something like that...it's not easy for someone like me, okay? Losing you and now you're back? I don't know how I'm supposed to feel!"

[can_be_more]

Welcome back to Fandom. "Right, and having my entire life collapse in on itself twice in two weeks is easy for me," she says. "Now are you going to tell me what the frell happened to you?"

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"It wasn't vampires," he snaps before shaking his head. "Something happened in Shop class." He rubs his temple where a nice headache has begun to form. "Are you okay?"

[can_be_more]

"No," she repeats. "But I haven't slept in at least three days and I've lost a good amount of blood so that's all the answer I can give right now." Yes, she's rubbing it in. No, she doesn't care. Past tense, right?

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John shakes his head again and laughs bitterly. "Fine. Fine." He starts to turn away but that's no good and it's not right. So, he stops and turns back to her. "My couch is open."

[can_be_more]

And after that, he was actually going to walk away from her. Almost laughing, she says, "I can find something else. I don't want to inconvenience you." It's not mean this time. She doesn't know what it is, but ow.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"It's not a damn inconvenience," he says. "It's warm. It's comfortable. Aeryn..."

[can_be_more]

At the moment, she honestly doesn't think she's that desperate, since he's not really giving her the impression that he cares. She could go right back to her Prowler and just leave and see what happened. The problem is, she wouldn't even be giving herself a chance that way. "I can be out in the morning," she says quietly. "No one will even know I was here."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"There's no rush," he says, trying to hide his disappointment. Yeah, they're fighting but she's back and he hasn't even touched her yet. He reaches into his pocket for his keys. He gestures for her to follow him. "I, um, washed some of your clothing while you were gone. No bleach stains, I promise. That all right?"

[can_be_more]

It's not hers. It's just things she used to wear when she lived here. She just shrugs, but follows him anyway.