fandomhighdorms | First Floor Lobby, Saturday Night

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First Floor Lobby, Saturday Night

Well.

The date had certainly gone well.

So well, in fact, that Conner was now sitting in a chair in the first floor lobby with smushed banana, chocolate syrup, and ice cream in his hair. And possibly a maraschino cherry. And sprinkles.

Maybe he ought to look happier about this?

Probably not.

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Hey, look, it was Willow. Willow, who was apparently pretty pissed off. Willow, who was Marie's roommate.

Conner suddenly understood the phrase "impending doom" a whole lot better.

"Uh. Hi, Willow?"

"What part of me telling you to treat Marie like a princess was so hard to understand, mister?" Willow demanded, tapping her foot at him.

"My middle name's Daniel," Conner said, as if that would distract her, "and when did you ever tell me that?"

"Conner Daniel McKnight what part of me telling you to treat Marie like a princess was so hard to understand?" Willow said, happily taking the middle name so that she could scold him properly. "I told you so last night on the radio!"

"But I didn't listen to the radio last night!" Conner exclaimed. "I didn't know!"

"Is it my fault you didn't do the pre-listening?" Willow asked. "No it is not! You take Marie out and you do the research! Do you hear me?"

Conner jumped to his feet, his eyes bugging out. "Research? How do you research for a date?"

"By figuring out that you do not ask girls out on dates if you are gay now!" Willow replied. "And where do you get off having my middle name anyway?"

"But I'm not gay now! I like girls! I totally do! And -- your middle name?"

"It's Danielle," Willow said, temporarily breaking the scolding to admire the wacky coincidence of it all.

But then scolding came back. "You asked Marie out knowing full well you have been sharing smoochies with Anders!"

Conner's moment of admiring the wacky coincidence of it all was cut sadly short by the Return of the Scolding.

"I thought everybody knew that by now," he protested. "With all the girls who keep asking us to make out in front of them? I thought it'd help me get dates!"

Way to go, McKnight. Keep digging that hole deeper.

Sometimes what you could say with scolding was better summed up by trying to whap somebody on the arm.

So Willow tried to whap him on the arm.

And Willow would have succeeded at that, given that Conner hadn't been expecting to be whapped and was in no way prepared to dodge.

"Ow!" he yelped. "What was that for?"

"Conner Daniel McKnight you will apologize to Marie for screwing up your date tonight!" Willow told him. "You will buy flowers, you will grovel, you will beg for her forgiveness or so help me I will hack into the school's computer system and put the letter O in every form of your name possible!"

"Okay, okay! I'll apologize! I will!" It'd be tragic, really, how completely intimidated Conner was by Willow, if it wasn't so comical.

To anyone but Conner, that was.

"Flowers, grovelling, begging, got it. Otherwise . . . wait, why the letter O?"

"C-o-n-n-o-r," Willow spelled out.

Conner looked absolutely scandalized.

"You wouldn't."

"You wanna try me?" Willow replied.

"Would you be bothered by me and my thing with Anders?" Conner asked.

"I would if you were trying to date me, doofus!" Willow replied.

"Which I'm not! I was trying to date your roommate!" Conner protested. "Are all the girls going to think it's hot except the ones I want to go out with?"

"Girls like loyalty," Willow said. "They like knowing that whoever they're with doesn't notice anybody else except them. Sharing repeat smoochies with somebody who isn't them kinda goes against that, don't you think?"

Conner looked abashed. "I didn't ever really think about it that way."

"Okay, well, this is why you do the research," Willow said.

"But I've never been research guy," Conner objected. "Is this something I need to work on?"

"I would say so," Willow told him, not unkindly. "You can start with the apology to Marie."

"I can do that," Conner said. "With the flowers, you think?"

He frowned. "She's never going to want to go out with me again, is she?"

"She didn't get attacked by stupid in the last two minutes, Conner," Willow replied.

"Well, that sucks," he grumbled.

He did mean the part about Marie never wanting to go out with him again. He just didn't actually say that part.

Fortunately for him Willow had a soft spot for people with no dating skills whatsoever.

Since, you know, she was one.

"You'll do better next time," she said, going to give him a light pat on the arm now.

The other arm. Not the one she'd hit.

"I'll even take notes," Conner replied, grateful for the switch of arms. "Just please, don't make people spell my name wrong ~~like even my show producers did in the title card of my one big character episode~~. That's just cruel."

"Do right by Marie and I won't have to," Willow said. "Do it wrong and it'll go everywhere. Even up to your Social Security Number."

"Okay, okay, I will!" Conner exclaimed. "I'll totally make it up to her. I swear!"

Willow patted him on the shoulder. "That's the spirit. Night, Conner!"

"Night, Willow," Conner said weakly, content (if you could call it that) to have survived and just sit there in the lobby with ice cream in his hair.

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First Floor Lobby, Saturday Night

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