The Roof: Saturday Early Evening [9-30]

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana crept quietly up to the roof, checking to make sure no one was there before going to sit near the edge and stare off into space. She made sure to sit well back from Bel's plants. She looked, well... terrible.


[OOC: Open]

Comments

[demonbelthazor]

"He cut out on you?" Bel said, his brow furrowing. He exhaled smoke angrily. "I'll kick his ass."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"No, you won't," Lana said firmly. "I told you it was my fault."

[demonbelthazor]

"How is it your fault?" Bel asked. "What happened?"

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Look, he's..." Lana hesitated, not sure how to say it or whether she should even be sharing this with anyone. "He's not really very...experienced and he's a little freaked out about how fast things have been moving with us. And his dad's upset that we're dating."

She sighed. "I knew all that. I'd promised him we'd take things slow and then I kept pushing. And then yesterday... I told him I thought I was falling in love with him. I didn't mean to, knew it would freak him out even more, but..."

[demonbelthazor]

Bel sighed. "Ah. So he's a typical male afraid of commitment. You say the L word and he runs."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana nodded. "I didn't mean to say it," she said softly. "I'm not even ready to admit it to myself. But I'd just had a nightmare and I was half-asleep."

She looked over at him again as if waiting for his condemnation. "I know that's no excuse, but..."

[demonbelthazor]

"Not your fault he's a little chicken shit," Bel said with a shrug.

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana just put her head down on her knees again. "That's not the point," she said sadly. "He is what he is. The point is I knew not to say anything and I did anyway and now it's all screwed up. I should just go home. Be the pretty little small town princess that nobody expects anything of."

[demonbelthazor]

"You're being too hard on yourself," Bel said. "You're gonna bring my plants down." He glanced toward the garden. "Shit. Somebody already beat you to it."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"I was careful to sit far away from them," Lana protested.

[demonbelthazor]

"Somebody gave 'em a dose of emo," Bel grumbled. "Look at them. I'm going to have to put up the disco ball after all."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"I probably infected them from all the way over here," Lana said morosely.

[demonbelthazor]

"No, you're at safe emo distance," Bel said firmly. "It's only when it's up close. Or somebody being really stupid."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana nodded. "Probably me then. Since I've been incredibly stupid."

[demonbelthazor]

"Look, telling a guy how you feel about him may not be the best idea ever because guys tend to be stupid about such things," Bel said, strangely fearing himself for being the voice of reason, "but you're not stupid for feeling what you feel."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"What if he gets killed out there?" Lana said. "He just took off into the woods."

[demonbelthazor]

"Then he's the one who's stupid," Bel said firmly.

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Whitney died because of me, too," Lana whispered. "And Shep will probably get himself killed out there and now Jim..."

[demonbelthazor]

"Now you're being silly," Bel said.

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"You think I'd make something like that up?" Lana began to cry. "Whitney's dead. Shep... he's been nearly killed three times since he left here."

[demonbelthazor]

Gah. Tears.

"Shep made the choice to leave," he said gruffly. "Whatever happens to him isn't your fault."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"He didn't have a choice. And I love him. Too." She shook her head. "Great. Maybe I should have told Jim that while I was screwing things up."

[demonbelthazor]

Bel lit up another cigarette. "Doesn't mean it's your fault if he does something that gets himself killed," he said, flicking ashes over the edge of the building.

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Unless I am cursed," Lana said glumly. "Terrible things happen to everyone I love."

[demonbelthazor]

"Don't be ridiculous," Bel said. "I'd know if it there was a darklighter following you around."