Roof: Tuesday all day

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair had successfully avoided talking about anything Miranda-related for all of Monday. Hanging around River long enough had taught him how to push things to the back of his mind fairly well. Knowing that it couldn't last forever he made his way to the roof with a blanket and took a seat where he could see the grounds.

The height didn't thrill him that much, but it seemed like a convenient place to be by himself but still see hear the sounds of people being alive. After Miranda, he wasn't so interested in finding silence.

[The emo roof is open!]

Comments

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

When River finally find Blair on the roof, it didn't take her psychic abilities to know what was on his mind. She quietly walked up to him and took a seat next to him, saying nothing.

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair didn't look at River but he did shift sideways so that he could share the blanket with her.

It was brief, but the thought ran through his mind that maybe River didn't get cold. Maybe they removed that weakness when they trained her to fight and kill.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Still get cold," River replied, thankful for the blanket. "Just not when I fight." She glanced at Blair, trying to smile.

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair closed his eyes, not sure what to say to that. The thought of River fighting set so many images swirling in his brain. The reavers, the recording about the pax, the fight in the bar, even River breaking his arm so many months ago.

His stomach churned and he took a deep breath, deciding that if he couldn't stop himself from thinking those things, he needed to talk about them. River deserved that much. "This...you...it's hard for me, River. I love you, you know that. You can read that in my head. But this weekend was scary."

He took another deep breath and looked at her sadly. "You were scary."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River already knew that's what he thought, but it still made her hurt. She nodded, placing her hand on Blair's. "Can't change that."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"I know." Blair twisted his hand so that he could hold onto hers tightly, looking down at their intertwined fingers. "I know I shouldn't want you to change, want you to be different than who you are."

"River...the fighting stuff, I don't know that I can change how I feel."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

She leaned her head against his shoulder. "Don't have to." That didn't mean part of her wished he could, but she also knew that the reason he couldn't was something she cared about him for.

[justmisplaced.livejournal.com]

So, the roof is supposed to be the place for emo and the place for playing the guitar.

Shawn isn't emo. He is, however, looking for somewhere to play guitar, so he headed up to the roof after lunch. He has something he needs to get a bit of practise in for, after all.

He raised a hand at Blair in greeting as he sat down. "You don't mind a bit of music, do you, man?"

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

Billy zipped up his coat when he emerged onto the roof. It wasn't as cold as it had been, and he rather liked the weather. He was strange.

"Hey Blair."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Hmm?" Blair turned and nodded to Shawn. "No, that's fine, man."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Hey, Ninja." Blair said quietly, not turning to look at Billy.

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Doesn't that bother you?" Blair asked, turning to look at her. "That I don't love that part of you?"

[justmisplaced.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," Shawn nodded. He started casually tuning up, watching Blair curiously.

... there was a distinct lack of bounce.

He stopped fiddling for a momemt. "You okay?" Shawn asked.

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

Blair seemed much more subdued than usual. "You okay?"

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Probably not, man." Blair looked at Shawn for a moment. "Why? Do I look not okay?"

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Not so much." Blair said. "How about you?"

[justmisplaced.livejournal.com]

"Just, not for you," Shawn replied setting about his tune-up again. "You're... subdued," he settled on after a moment.

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Subdued pretty well covers it." Blair sighed, ticking the list off on his fingers. "Girlfriend's been having nightmares, got possessed by a demon, went to outer space and got in a fight with space cannibals."

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

"I'm, actually doing pretty well." Billy said. Aside from bursts of anger, absent mindedness and turning into obnoxious performance artists. "I was hoping we could meditate sometime though. I've, uh, I have had some trouble lately centering myself."

[justmisplaced.livejournal.com]

Shawn stared for a long moment. Tuning totally forgotten.

"... Busy week," he commented dryly after a moment. "I think you're perfectly allowed to be 'not okay'."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"That's good, man." Blair said and then paused at the talk about meditation. "I don't know that this week is good for me. I'm having problems meditating myself."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair gave a small laugh and leaned back, looking up at the sky. "Good to know, man."

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

Billy hesitated. "Uh, you wanna talk about it?" He felt like some of his guy cred was forfeit for that one, but oh well.

[justmisplaced.livejournal.com]

"I've had weeks like that," Shawn said as he started to casually pluck out a few notes. "Months even. The 'not okay' does pass eventually."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Yeah?" Blair eyed Shawn for a moment. "Did you do any meditation or anything?"