Second floor common room, all Friday afternoon

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

The kitchenette counters in the common room were covered in all sorts of unusual things this afternoon: bowls, spoons, cheese graters, half a lobster, bits of lego. A cheery tuneless song with lyrics written entirely in gibberish came from behind the counter as someone rummaged through the fridge. Finally, the door shut, and a slightly deranged looking Hamlet stood up, wearing a quickly assembled version of the Swedish Chef's outfit.

As he continued singing and rummaging through the cupboards for things, he stood up a large sign against the counter:




Brunch cooked while you wait!
The chef will try his best to cook whatever you want!
Børk! Børk! Børk!


Moral of the day: don't eat strange cupcakes that are lying out in the open. They do weird things to your head.


[OOC: So very open.]

Comments

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

Since she was already on the second floor, having come from Dick's room, Annette wandered in. She was really wanting to see if Steerpike or Marco were about - acting strange.

She did not expect to see...a sort of chef guy?

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

The Danish Chef looked up from where he was fusing with things and grinned. Oh boy, the first hungry patron of the day!

"Velcume-a tu my keetchee!" he said. "Vhet cun I cuuk fur yuoo tudey? Bork Bork Bork!"

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

Annette put a hand over her mouth, sort of in wonder, and sort of to keep from laughing out loud.

"Surprise me?" It was the best she could come up with under her awe-inspired circumstances.

What the heck was wrong with the second floor common room?

Was this the lunch chef? It couldn't be. She narrowed her eyes, looking closely. "Do...I know you?"

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

If Annette looked very carefully, she might recognize the crazy boy in the chef's hat as being on the cheer squad with her. Hamlet, however, wasn't quite in the right frame of mind to tell her that.

Instead, he pulled out a rather tasty looking chocolate cake from underneath the counter. "Tudey, ve-a meke-a yuoo deleeciuoos jepunese-a ceke-a! Bork Bork Bork!"

Setting the cake on the table top, he reached back under the counter to pull out a can of whipped cream, a bowl of fresh raspberries, and a baseball bat.

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

She was still staring at him allowing the light to slowly surface on just exactly who he was. Her eyes widened at the realization.

Then she noticed what he was doing. "...but that's a baseball bat. You're not going to beat the cake are you, Hamlet?" Her fellow cheerleader has gone crazy. Annette thought it her place, as fellow cheerleader, to help him.

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

While Annette was staring at him, the Danish Chef took the opportunity to squirt a large amount of whipped cream on top of the cake, and threw a couple handfuls of raspberries on top.

He raised an eyebrow in confusion at her question. "Thees is a cakenschmooscher. Vuoold yuoo leeke-a tu heet it oor shell I?"

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

It was a little hard to understand him, and there was all that whipped cream...Annette looked a little nervous.

Stepping closer to him, she lowered her voice and asked, "Is it necessary?"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"What. the. hell?" Luke stammered as he walked into the common room.

[keds-champion.livejournal.com]

"...brunch?" Pam asked as she wandered in and stared. "And what's a bork?"

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

The Danish Chef waved cheerfully at the new guest from behind the kitchenette.

"Velcume-a tu broonch! Vuoold yuoo leeke-a sumetheeng tu iet? Bork Bork Bork!"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"I'd like a bork, yes," Luke said, completely confused.

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

"Oh yees," the Danish Chef said, waving the bat around a little. "Oozeerveese-a zee cekes stert telkeeng beck. Bork Bork Bork!"

And if to prove his point, the Japanese chocolate cake opened up in the middle a little like a puppet's mouth and protested "止めるって下さい！"

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

The Danish Chef looked at Luke a minute, before nodding and going back to the fridge. He pulled out a very large bowl of beats and put them on the counter top.

"Zeen, I veell meke-a yuoo sume-a fery testy borsht! Bork Bork Bork!" he said with a grin.

[the_merriest]

Rikku wandered into the common room and clapped her hands. "Dude! Dude! You're the bork-bork guy!" She danced around excitedly.

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

The Danish Chef stretched out his cooking hands to get them all nice and loose. So many nice patrons today!

"A broonch is zee oozeer meel in zee dey, thet yuoo iet vhee yuoo dun't hefe-a teeme-a fur a guud loonch." He gestured around at the kitchenette. "Vuoold yuoo leeke-a a deesh mede-a joost fur yuoo? Bork Bork Bork!"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"...thank you?" Luke asked. "Do you need any help?" He left off the implied "crazy person?"

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

"I em!" said the Danish Chef, puffing up with pride. "I'm fery heppy thet yuoo recugneezed me-a! Bork Bork Bork!"

[keds-champion.livejournal.com]

Pam continued to stare. "Can you make muffins?" she finally asked.

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

"Oh nu," said the Danish Chef, pulling a small sledge hammer out from under the counter to smash the beets with. "I'm a pruffesseeunel cheff. I em fery guud et cuukeeng."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"I'll bet," Luke said, taking a careful step back.

Then another.

And one more, just to be safe. "Are those vegetables very dangerous?" he asked.

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

"Off cuoorse-a I cun!" he said.

He pulled out a bag of generic Betty Crocker muffin mix, a bag of chocolate chips, a small bowl of blueberries, two sticks of bran, and a can of tuna salad sandwich spread.

"Vhet keend ooff mooffffeens vuoold yuoo leeke-a?"

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

"Only iff zeey stert seenging, Bork Bork Bork," said the Danish Chef matter-of-factly as he pounded the first beet flat.

[the_merriest]

"Can we sing the song? Can we? Can we?" Rikku bounced again. "I don't know the words so I just make 'em up!"

"Yee bor skar mark bor sker bomp, do, ba deska do, yay bore skar bear bore ingar borp BORK BORK BORK!"

[keds-champion.livejournal.com]

"...blueberry," she said slowly, eyeing the various ingredients warily.

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

"What the holy crap!" Annette jumped back from that cake. "You can't eat it! You can't beat it! My god, it's alive!"