fandomhighdorms | The Roof; Friday Night.

~~Because there wasn't enough emo about this flying around,~~ Chad sat on the roof with the rest of the pot from Mexico and a teddy bear dressed as a daring bull fighter. Elbows on his knees, he would occationally draw the one in one hand to his lips and draw it in slowly, deeply, long pauses before letting out a steady stream of smoke. And then he'd stare at the sky for a little and wonder why it wasn't working quickly enough to numb him better. The placid exchange was interupted occationally when Chad moved the bear in closer, and looked at it. Bob, short for Robearto, a terrible pun just like his own name, who fought teal deer instead of bulls. He knew what would happen if he did it, but he did it anyway, giving the torso a squeeze so the little voicebox inside declared "Te amo!"

Chad briefly considered just chucking the damn thing off the roof, but he couldn't. Not after he'd already thrown away so much. He'd use the declaration as a sort of self-flagelation. He was stupid. Stupid for thinking he could ever actually have anything tangible like that. Stupid for thinking that things might have finally turned around for him and he could actually hold on to something he loved for a change...

...but the fact that he was the reason this one, and not anything else, hurt. A lot. Almost as much as the fact that there seemed to be nothing he could do about it.

He brought the joint back to his lips, sucking in slowly, deeply. Held on. A little longer. Then released the smoke, watching the smoke disappear before his eyes...

[[ so open, so ~~emo~~ thoughtful. ]]

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After being freed from her tape-y bonds, Pippi really just wanted some fresh air.

So she wandered up to the roof.

Chad was still there, barely moving except to bring the join back and forth from his mouth, not even noticing someone else there. Even if he had noticed Pippi, he'd pretend he didn't.

Pippi actually hadn't noticed Chad, actually hadn't noticed him. She was busy looking up at the stars.

So their time not noticing each other dragged on.

Probably until Chad squeezed the bear again, and the quiet little "Te amo!" cut through the otherwise perfect silence. Followed by a sigh, and a soft grunt.

Pippi looked down finally.

"Chad?"

Chad didn't look up, just took another long drag.

"Pippi."

"Sorry, I didn't see you there."

Chad shrugged. And that was all.

"...Am I interrupting something?"

Chad shook his head. "Nah. Yer fine."

Pippi nodded and hopped around on one leg for a bit.

"Wanna dance?"

Chad turned his head and looked at Pippi. Looked at her for a good, long time. He almost told her to fuck off. Her. Pippi. But, catching himself, he realized exactly what had happened to him.

He turned away, dropping the things in his hands to bury his face in them. "Jesús Cristo, Pippi. Not the fucking time."

Pippi is slightly taken aback.

"I... Huh?"

Chad didn't say anything; he didn't move. He was afraid to; he didn't want to.

"Okay..." she said moving away. "... sorry."

Great, Yasutora. Just the thing to do right now. Things are never going to be the same between you and Nadia, you've completely screwed up the only real relationship you've ever had and hurt, and now you were pushing Pippi away, too?

He dropped one hand, ran the other through his hair. It's for the best, he told himself. You can't be close to people. Stop trying...it always ends up like this...

"Yeah," he said. "Me, too..."

"... Do you need a hug?"

Okay, stupid question. If he doesn't want a dance he probably doesn't want a hug.

"I mean... a cookie?"

Real smooth. But he is smoking that stinky stuff, he might not notice.

Problem was that the stinky stuff wasn't working. At all. Even if it was from Mexico.

"I....think I jus' wanna be alone right now."

But he didn't want to be alone. He wanted to be with Teddy. He picked up the bear again, ran his thumb along the lines of buttons on his jacket. He thought to squeeze it again, but didn't.

"Kay." she backed up towards the door.

The Roof; Friday Night.

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