The Roof, Thursday Night

[stykera]

The roof wasn't somewhere Stark went often. It seemed like a good place to emo think tonight though. He was tired of his room for the time being, and this was less likely to be crowded than a common room. And it was nice, sometimes, to be able to look up at the stars, even when they were partially hidden behind clouds.

So he was sitting quietly near the edge, knees pulled up to his chest, trying not to think too hard about anything.




[Open, as these things tend to be]

Comments

[ladycfitzgerald.livejournal.com]

Buildings this tall were unheard of in Avonlea, and Anne couldn't help but feel that the stairs to the roof were calling her name. What good was an ability to get up to the roof if one didn't take advantage of it to commune with the stars from a closer distance, after all?

She hardly noticed Stark at first, so enraptured was she by the night sky, hands clasped to her chest and a blissful smile on her face. After several moments, however, her ecstatic sigh was impossible to miss.

[stykera]

"It is a nice view," Stark said softly from where he was sitting. "Hello."

[ladycfitzgerald.livejournal.com]

"Oh," exclaimed Anne contritely. "I beg your pardon, I didn't see you there, I only meant to come up and drink in the night sky. Do you want me to go away? I can go away if you like. Sometimes this sort of feast for the soul is better done alone."

[stykera]

"It's not my roof," Stark pointed out. "You can be up here all you like. And I've had enough of alone. For now."

[ladycfitzgerald.livejournal.com]

Something about that statement struck a chord in Anne's sympathetic heart, and she settled herself carefully near Stark, arranging her skirts carefully -- and, it might be noted, not taking notice of his face just yet.

"Oh, I understand completely," she said, expansively and perhaps not a little naively. "It's so lonely growing up in an orphanage, or staying on with someone out of charity, or just being surrounded by people who aren't kindred spirits at all."

[stykera]

All of those things did sound lonely, so Stark nodded.

"Yes. Not exactly the same as what I meant, but yes. That does sound lonely."

[ladycfitzgerald.livejournal.com]

"What did you mean, exactly?" asked Anne. "Some nights in the orphanage, when I couldn't sleep for my troubled thoughts, I used to comfort myself by thinking of how awfully lonely it is to be an orphan that nobody really wanted. Have you ever had moments like that? When you can't help but come up with the most awful, saddening thoughts ever because they're so awful and sad and heartwrenching that they just make you feel better?"

[stykera]

Stark was just going to take a moment to stare at Anne. It was dark, maybe she wouldn't notice.

"I try not to think of awful things when I can help it," he said. "There are enough terrible things that have to be thought of I don't need to try and think of them more. And thinking of things I'd rather not think of has never helped. Not thinking helps, sometimes. But not for very long."

[ladycfitzgerald.livejournal.com]

"How do you ever not think?" asked Anne, surprised. "I don't think I could ever do that. My mind's always so busy, I don't know how to calm it down most of the time. I can imagine up the wildest and most fantastic stories and still have energy to spare, I think."

[stykera]

"It takes a lot of work," Stark said. "Sometimes trying just to be too busy to think works. Sometimes not. And having too much to think about and not being able to calm down your mind is exactly why you have to not think."

[ladycfitzgerald.livejournal.com]

"But," objected Anne, frowning mightily, "what is the point of having such an active mind if one isn't going to use it?"

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

Billy liked the roof. It was a nice view, it was often quiet, and there also, were often cool people.

"Evenin' folks."

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

"Hey." Billy waved to the red head. "Don't know if we've met yet."

[stykera]

"Sometimes I would rather it was not so active. It's tiring. Can't rest when you think too much. And there are things I don't want to think about that keep coming back." Stark shook his head.

"Haven't you ever just wanted your mind to stop, just for a little while?"

[stykera]

"Hello, Billy," Stark said.

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

"How're you doing Man? What've you been up to?"

[stykera]

"Not a lot." Stark shook his head. "Working on the school. And hiding in my room. You?"

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

"Not, really doing either of those. Might have been a good idea, the hiding I mean. Two questions, one, you think the school's gonna be ready for the fall, and two, why do you think people are still going to the Principal's office when she calls them in? I think maybe hiding in our rooms, or, somewhere, would be a good idea actually."

[ladycfitzgerald.livejournal.com]

"Oh, no, never!" The merest thought of such a thing seemed to shock poor Anne, who had gone even paler and more wide-eyed in the starlight than she had already been. "Even in the worst times of my life my imagination has been a comfort to me. I couldn't dream of -- it would be like cutting off my own hand, or -- or losing half my face!"

[stykera]

Now Stark was really staring. Twice as hard as someone with a whole face might stare, just to ensure that it achieved the proper effect.

"And when you can't think of anything except the most horrible things you can imagine? When all you can remember is hurt and you are sure things will never be better? I would rather not think when that happens. And it happens far too often."

He shook his head angrily, putting a hand to his mask. "And half a face is enough for some."

[stykera]

"It should be done," Stark said softly. "In time for classes. Maybe before I go. And I have no idea why people are seeing that woman if they can avoid it."

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

"I'm not even sure why I went. But that's depressing. What are you gonna do when you head out?"

[ladycfitzgerald.livejournal.com]

"Oh, no, I don't believe we have." Anne, for all the good manners Marilla had attempted to instill in her, could not quite refrain from gawking just a wee bit at the boy's eyepatch. She'd always imagined eyepatches gave one a rakish, daring air, and here they seemed almost as commonplace as . . . well, as chimneys! (What that said about the rakish and daring qualities of the student body was likely best left unsupposed.)

She inclined her head as gracefully as she could manage in lieu of a curtsey. "Anne Shirley. And you are?"

[stykera]

"I...don't know." Stark looked down, then shrugged. "Back to where I was. If I can find where I was again."

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

"Where was that?"