fandomhighdorms | 5th floor common room, Thursday afternoon

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5th floor common room, Thursday afternoon

When she had returned to human shape after her week as an owl, River had found dead voles in various stages of decay littered on the floor. Having collected the intact ones she had placed them in perforated containers hanging from the window, and inspected the process regularly, despite Berthold having issues with the smell. Now most of the soft tissue was gone and she proceeded to the final stage of procuring clean, intact vole skeletons. She put the carcasses in a big pot and boiled them.

The smell of rotten meat filled the common room and the remaining pieces of dried sinews and muscles floated to the surface of the greying water. River watched with great interest.

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Buffy followed the stench. It was hard not to. Not that her room had smelled so very lovely lately either, but this was worse.

"River? The hell?"

River looked up from the pot and beamed at Buffy. "Almost finished now," she whispered, as if sounds could interfere with the process.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked with deep suspicion. She didn't feel like coming closer to have a better look.

"Boiling decayed vole carcasses," River explained, staring down into the pot again.

"..." said Buffy.

"The skeletons will be clean and completely intact," River clarified.

"Yay?" Buffy sounded dubious. "Does this mean our room won't have that weird smell anymore? I'm running out of air freshner."

River nodded. "I can burn incense," she offered.

Buffy brightened at this news. "I'd like that! And Bertie too, probably. Um. He has a nose, right? I swear I've seen him smell stuff..."

"The sniffling would indicate there is a nose," River said. She poked one of the vole skeletons in the pot with a fork.

"What are you actually going to do with the skeletons?" Buffy stepped a tiny bit closer. Her sense of smell was still keeping her well away from the pot though. "I don't remember if you said."

Assemble them for study," River replied. "They will also make fine wall decorations. Am considering giving one to Simon."

Buffy tilted her head. "We'd need more flowers or something to set it off then. Just the hair flower I bought in New ...something won't be enough. Simon's your brother, right?"

"More flowers?" River didn't quite seem to see the necessity, but she nodded. "And yes, Simon is my brother."

"He should come visit sometime," Buffy suggested. She nodded. "Definitely more flowers. Or at least colours." She brightened. "Maybe IKEA will have something!"

"He came to visit about a year ago, but I think you were away then," River replied. It hadn't been during good circumstances though. "Another IKEA trip?"

"Oh. Well, he should come back then! I want to meet him too." Buffy pouted a little, before the thought of the isle of IKEA brought a smile back to her face. "Totally another IKEA trip. I think new people are arriving this weekend though, and that's always fun."

"Perhaps I should ask him," River said thoughtfully. "No trip this weekend though. We need to watch the new people."

"Definitely." Buffy grinned. "I think I still might have some glitter left over from the cheer show..."

"Isabel and I discussed the need for new and improved Fandom traditions. Other than glitter, shirtlessness and boykissy. I proposed dancing." She poked one of the skeletons again. "I believe skeleton collection isn't generally appealing."

"Nooooooo," Buffy said slowly. "I don't think that would catch on. Or, if it did, I'd probably have to start slaying classmates and the principal probably wouldn't like that.

...But dancing is okay."

"Skeleton collection results in slaying? Should I be worried?" River looked amused. "Dancing is good. So you will help spread the word?"

"Well, if order to get skeletons, you have to have bodies, right? And they'd have to be dead bodies." Buffy pointed out. "Who knows what kind of skeletons people might decide to collect?"

"Skeletons from animals dead from natural causes?" River sounded hopeful. "Didn't answer my question."

"Do you think that would be enough?" Buffy gave her a skeptical look. "If it were to be a thing? ...What? Oh. Dancing! Sure! What should I say? Grab a newbie for a cha-cha-cha?"

"Exactly. Combined with propaganda posters." River looked like she was getting far too many ideas.

Buffy grinned. "You'd have to get painting then, they'll be here soon." She wrinkled her nose. "Are you sure the smell will go away?"

River shrugged, not too bothered about the smell. "Could start painting tonight. Will you help?"

"I could draw cheerleader gremlins, I guess?"

"Cheerleader advertisment could be integrated in the dance propaganda," River suggested.

Buffy beamed. "Count me in then!"

Normal people might have been driven away by the smell, but Jenny figured it was her duty to check and make sure there wasn't a rotting corpse up here. "What the hell is that smell?" she asked, sucking on a cigarette to fill her lungs with a somewhat less offensive stench.

"Your cigarette," Sokka snarked.

"No, no," Jenny said, "I know the difference between tobacco and the reek of death by now, thanks."

"Really?" Sokka asked, walking towards her. "Because I thought they were pretty much the sa--" He sniffed the air. "Hey, that DOES smell a lot better than River's dinner. Plus, it makes you look cool."

"That's kind of the idea," Jenny said. "You just have to watch out for the cancer."

"That is NOT food!!!" Sokka said, as he entered the room.

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5th floor common room, Thursday afternoon

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