fandomhighdorms | The Roof; Late Friday Morning.

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The Roof; Late Friday Morning.

Although he'd spent a proper day ~~afk~~ brooding, A.J. was still feeling upset about that whole thing with Annette coming in the other day. And the more the thought about it, the more ~~angsty~~ ~~emo~~ upset he got. Maybe, yeah maybe she didn't know any better. But Annette was smarter than that! She had to have known what she was doing, and if she knew what she was doing...

Because he most likely didn't have the strength to put his aggression out in most forms, he did it through his painting. He'd laid down a big canvas on the floor, picked up a few brushes at once, each dipped in certain paints and just slashed and stabbed and dotted and streaked wherever it felt right, or effective. Jackson Pollack on moody, teenaged boy angst, as A.J. tried to figure out the conundrum of the fact that he always seemed to want what he couldn't have, and then what he could just....He hoped to find the answers in the paint. He'd title this piece "Solution to a Problem about Love that's Not as Messy as Blowing Out your Brains."

[[ open roof is open ]]

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...middle class? A.J.'s head shook a little. "Fine," he said dryly, "I'll admit to it. There's...definitely something there. Don't know what it is, it's definitely not here now, but there's something. And a hell of a lot of fucking good it does me that I like you."

And now he braced himself for the whole friends speech, the have a boyfriend speech, every other speech he knew he'd get that he was trying to avoid....

"You do too know what it is, just like I do," she said, looking at him. What she was trying to prove she wasn't yet sure. But she hated this prancing around each other whenever they saw each other. He liked her and she... yeah, she liked him too.

"This is just bullshit, A.J.," and she looked away, walking to stand towards the edge of the builing, looking out over the lawn but not focusing on it at all.

"I can't help it," she mumbled. "I don't even know how to help it..."

...What? Where were all the speeches? A.J. blinked, as if unsure of what to do now that it wasn't just another person telling him that they think of him like a friend, or a brother, or something.

It took him a moment to think of what to say. He bit his lip, frowning as he filled in some blue on the background of the painting. "Did...did you really forget?" he asked. "That I worked Wednesday?"

"Yes, I forgot," she said, not bothering to look over her shoulder at him.

A.J. really, really hoped that Annette was being honest with him, despite the fact that he was still feeling like the whole event had been just to spite him. It was jealousy, or frustration, manifesting itself and positioning itself on Annette, which wasn't entirely fair, so he'd just have to ignore it.

"The two of you seemed happy," he said, quietly, painting more and seeming to put all his attention into that. "You and Dick, Wednesday..."

That was all assumption, of course, because A.J. couldn't really remember anything much beyond being annoyed and rolling his eyes in his head anytime he heard a laugh from their table.

Annette looked down at her hands laying on the brick wall. There was happiness; there was security in her relationship with Dick. But as much as she wished they were closer, Dick just wasn't as deep as she was and maybe that was just a guy thing. Maybe she thought too much and that was her problem. Maybe that is why it was easy for her to become attracted to A.J. He paid attention to her in small, tiny ways that Dick didn't seem to notice. But again, this was her feeling this way. She couldn't speak for Dick or for A.J.

But she could change things, couldn't she?

Turning around, Annette walked back over to him and knelt in front of him, reaching over to take his paint brush from his hand so he had to look at her, had to face her. "Do you want me to leave you alone? Is that what you want?"

Yes. Taking his paintbrush was pretty effective in that respect. True, he had more in arms reach, as well, but he still looked at Annette as if he'd just been utterly disarmed. "I don't know what I want, Annette," he told her, looking at her like that wasn't entirely true. "That's the problem."

"There are a lot of problems here but being honest shouldn't be one of them," she said, reading the expression on his face.

A.J. gave her a soft, sad smile. "It has to be, Annette."

Because if he let himself be completely honest right now, things were only going to get more confusing, and he didn't want to do that to Annette, to himself, to Troy, or even to Dick, and he didn't even know the guy.

She lowered her eyes. "So what is the solution? Is there one?" Annette shook her head. "You know what? Let's forget it." She took his hand and placed his brush back in it. "I don't know what to do but I know I've got to forget about it. If I don't," she looked at him, her eyes open, sad. "I will do something that could affect those closest to me and I don't want to hurt anyone, no matter how much I might want to act on my feelings."

Didn't he just say they should forget it a few seconds ago? A.J. let out a wry grunt of a laugh. "Now you see where I'm coming from..."

Yes. He did. She just had to hear herself say it and add to it her own sense of justification for what she felt.

"It's not fair."

A.J. arched an eyebrow. At least she got a boyfriend out of the deal.

...Well, okay, so did he. Kind of. Not the point.

"You're tellin' me."

Annette stared at him, thinking.

The silence and the staring made A.J. a little uncomfortable. He stared back, and then blinked, not sure he wanted to know, but he asked anyway.

"...what?"

She raised her brows "Are you going to be upset everytime you see me? Are you not going to come to my room anymore so we can hang out or whatever? Have things totally changed here between us now, A.J?"

A.J. frowned, worriedly, thinking. She hadn't done it on purpose. At least, she said she hadn't. And that was what he was mad about, so...he didn't think he would...but...

"Do...do you want them to change?" he asked.

"There are a lot of ways I could answer that question," she said and considered her first most thought before she continued quietly, "but I will say only that no, I don't want them to change. I like you, A.J., I like you more than I should for a girl who has a boyfriend and you probably could hate me for that, so I ask you the same thing: do you want them to change?"

"No," A.J. said, quietly, still a little bit surprised that Annette had went ahead and said it. It was a pleasant surprise, but he was still thinking that maybe he'd be better off not knowing it was true. "I don't. I just...maybe next time you forget it's Wednesday, you could kind of decide you want pizza instead? Will make things a little...easier, I think."

"And seeing you often in everyday life is supposed to help? Whether at the diner or not, I will still see you. But all right, I'll stay away from the diner on Wednesdays." Pausing, she frowned. This whole situation was not going to get better by just deciding that no, they didn't want things to change.

"You have to get a girlfriend, A.J., or something..."

A.J. rolled his eyes. "Understatement of the century, Annette," he muttered, even though there was probably about fifty million things wrong with it. Like the fact that he did have someone. Not a girlfriend, but he knew all he had to do was say the word and it could happen. But he couldn't. Just like he couldn't tell Annette exactly what he felt or just like how he couldn't tell Corey he loved her, either.

God, he sucked.

"It's not really so much seeing you, Annette," he added. "I like seeing you. It's just seeing you with Dick that I can't quite deal with, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. I would feel the same way if I saw you with someone," which was a confession she didn't need to make. She figured he pretty much knew by now what she was feeling.

"I'm sorry, you know, for what it's worth."

(and I am fleeing until later afternoon so I might miss you! Have a safe trip!)

A.J. smiled lightly. He figured Annette was just being nice with that first comment, just as he was thinking the chances of him ever really being with anyone and it being open enough for anyone to see it were pretty slim. No one that he knew of was aware of him and Troy, and now this whole thing...

"Me, too," he said quietly.

She wasn't just being nice; seeing him with someone, while she would be happy for him, would most likely turn her stomache upside down.

Annette wanted to tell him he was one of her best friends but somehow thought that would sound routine and ineffectual. She remained quiet though she did reach for his hand again, but this time to hold lightly in her own.

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The Roof; Late Friday Morning.

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