Outside the dorms, Sunday morning

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

At least she knew her name now, and knew that she liked feeding a horse apples and made unusual cookies. She still had no memories of her life before Saturday morning, and it was becoming increasingly frustrating. With a frown River sat crosslegged on the lawn, studing the marked poems in her books for further relevations.

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[ecirpnellehada.livejournal.com]

She was killing time to delay the moment of visiting the Eel at the library, which she did remember, although she did not remember where the library actually was. The Adah of the New Day (as she had decided to call herself) was hoping to use the time to channel more of the Adah of the Notebook, with more of her many books. She walked, wandered, drifted (Not all who wander are lost, Adah of the Notebook had written, although it was more like Lost, are wander who all not, but Adah of the New Day understood what she meant), another volume of poetry in her hands as she slowly cut across outside of the dormitory building. She read outloud, but entirely to herself.

"In dewy damps my limbs were chilled;
My blood with gentle horrors thrilled:
My feeble pulse forgot to play;
I fainted, sunk...."

She paused, lifting her eyes toward the horizon, her voice only a breath, "and died away..."

...Well, she certainly was glad that Adah of the Notebook appeared to have incredibly good taste in everything so far. But Adah of the Notebook possessed a sense of attention that, clearly, Adah of the New Day did not, as she did not even notice the girl on the lawn, similarly equipped with a book of poems.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River heard words - poetry - spoken alound and in someone's mind. She looked up, tilted her head, smiled, and replied:

"I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -- don't tell!
They'd advertise -- you know!"

[ecirpnellehada.livejournal.com]

Adah's eyes widened for just a moment, and her head turned, swiftly, toward the sound of a voice, the sound of something...

Seeing the other girl there in the grass with her legs folded and the book in her hand, Adah smiled lightly through the sudden, strange rush in her. "I...I recognize that poem..."

It had been written in one of Adah of the Notebook's scribblings; she knew that was the only reason she'd recognized it, because she'd read it just yesterday, but remembering anything at this point made her heart lurch in an almost painful way, against her lungs as though trying to escape to celebrate.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

Both River's eyes and her smile widened. "Book of marked poems," she explained. "Am looking for clues to my identity." She leaned forward, the book in her lap and her arms outstretched on the grass in front of her. "I know I'm River, I feed apples to horses and make cookies that few appreciate." Perhaps any of this would strike a chord with this girl, Adah, just like the poem had. But then perhaps poems were indeed the clue, possessing a special power.

[ecirpnellehada.livejournal.com]

Adah, too, closed her book, and she moved over to the other girl, River, and sat down in front of her, folding her legs similarly, and setting her book in front of her. "That sounds," she said, "like a very good start. I woke up yesterday without my memory, as well. I have been scouring everything and get my hands on of the old Adah to discover her, while, at the same time, I've decided not to dwell. There wouldn't be a point, not when I can simply just create a new Adah. Besides, the other Adah is very confusing...By the time I figure her out, I'll have a story of my own."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River looked thoughtful. "Identity is in constant change, but this break of continuity may cause a problem." Then she smiled again. "You have more poems?" she asked. "Should we see if there are others that match?"

[ecirpnellehada.livejournal.com]

Adah smiled a little for River's assessment; she wondered if her post-loss self knew the Adah of the Notebook at all, but then she realized that it didn't matter because both of them were just ghosts now, lurking in the memories of those who still were, like the Eel. "We could try," she said, sliding the book forward against the grass. "But I did not recognize the poem from one of these books, but from a notebook, that my former self had kept..."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"You have notebooks?" River hadn't found any. She wondered if her former self just preferred not to keep them or if she'd hid them somewhere. "I just found this under my pillow. The marked poems should be significant."

[ecirpnellehada.livejournal.com]

"Piles of them," Adah said with a nod, "which is why I've decided to call my former self Adah of the Notebook. She writes like the world is nothing but one giant puzzle. I almost like to think that she knew this was going to happen, and was simply leaving clues for me to try to discover her. She certainly didn't make it easy though... I've been studying them, memorizing them...They're starting to almost feel like real memories..."

She looked over at River's book, holding out a hand. "May I see it? Maybe this is nothing more than yet another carefully placed clue..."

Adah of the New Day was starting to feel that Adah of the Notebook must have been absolutely brilliant.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River carefully, almost reluctantly, placed the book in Adah's hand. "Former River seems a lot more secretive." She almost envied Adah the notebooks, but then again it might be something she needed to live up too. "Can I see yours?" she asked, turning her mind again to the chasing of clues.

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

Bill the Pirate was hung over, and wondering if the world was ready for a Pirate who refused to drink. Because this hangover thing was so not worth it. And walking with a peg leg didn't help.

Ow, ow, ow...

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River frowned, the effects of the hangover clear enough to her. "Alcohol clearly doesn't agree with you."

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

"No, no it certainly doesn't." he found a shady spot and lay down, the cool grass feeling nice.

"I may get kicked out o' the Pirates Union fer this, but I don't think I'll be partakin' again any time soon. Oh, me name be Bill by the way."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"There's a Pirates'Union?" River asked, sounding curious.

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

"I don't know. It's this whole amnesia thing. But there's unions fer almost every other profession, so why not a pirate one?"

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"River!" Inara waved in greeting as she left the dorms for a walk. "Hello."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River raised a hand and waved cheerfully to the girl who obviously knew her. "I'm trying to find myself," she said, gesturing towards the book.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"Are you having any luck?" Inara had thought that River seemed to know herself rather well, actually.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Poetry might offer clues to deeper understanding. Tell me what you know of me? Another piece in the puzzle."

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"Well, I don't know you that well, but you seem to have come through some very difficult experiences intact, so that speaks well for the strength of your mind and heart," she offered, trying to think of what she would want to know from an outsider, "and you're not afraid to contradict people when you know they're wrong. Oh! And you're from a place called Earth-that-was, a few thousand years from now, and you've adjusted beautifully as near as I can tell, so you must be very adaptable."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River nodded, then blinked. "This isn't my real home?" she asked, but her mind was searching Inara's for clues about the difficult experiences. She wondered if her former self did that sort of thing too and if it was bad.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Inara didn't notice her mind being searched, but was resolved not to tell River about the bad experiences with the Alliance and Alliance doctors. If she didn't remember on her own, well, maybe that was a blessing. "No, I think you mentioned a spaceship being home? And maybe an older brother, if I remember right?"

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

All the things Inara didn't say River could still hear clearly enough, but she also sensed that the reason for keeping it from her was out of concern. She nodded. "A brother? I wish he was here."

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"That hasn't changed then," she smiled.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

And River smiled back, relieved to know that there was someone in the world she cared about, even if he wasn't here right now.