gym - sunday very early in the morning

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

One stance. Two stance. Three stance. Four stance.

Fall.

He was in the gym, long warmed up and stretched and now busy practicing everything Ino had taught him almost like the possessed.

Because he was angry.

He was angry with himself for not being able to stop his madness, angry that he would have to upset Karal to tell him what he'd seen, angry with what he'd seen, angry with the rest of the fever dreams because they all seemed to damnably horrible, and angry with the Witch for not being there for him to question. She might have mocked him for his insanity as she mocked him for everyone else, but even that would have been comforting.

He didn't go near the bag. It just wasn't a good idea.

So he switched between stances, threw himself at the floor over and over in various falls, and even practiced his sword drills a little in an effort to drown out the rage inside his own head.

[ooc: waiting for Ino, obviously, but also open for all your spazzing ozian and atheltic needs]

Comments

[rebelheartalien.livejournal.com]

Michael had slipped out of his room early, for a visit to the gym for lack of anything else to do.

He hadn't expected to find anyone else there.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Liir was in the midst of the drills now, the broom in his hand serving as a sword. He didn't notice Michael, didn't even look up, but the expression on Liir's face is probably not one Michael would deem in any way normal.

[rebelheartalien.livejournal.com]

Nooot so much. When he got close enough to actually see the other boy's face, he stopped in his tracks.

"...Liir?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

There's a sound, halfway between a snarl and a grunt.

He finished the drill repeat and the broom was returned smoothly to its holster. He didn't speak for a moment, though. Instead, he closed his eyes and breathed in and settled himself.

Rage helped nothing, especially undisciplined rage. He would not be her. He would not be her.

"Michael," he said.

And he knew he had to tell him.

[rebelheartalien.livejournal.com]

"Is... everything okay?" he asked cautiously. Liir looked calmer now, but whatever had made him look like that... it couldn't just have gone away.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Everything is fine," he said. Because everything was not him. The world at large, the people here, the school, the grounds, the sky, the squirrels. Everything was fine but him.

It was an easy lie.

He shook his head.

"Am I in your way?"

[rebelheartalien.livejournal.com]

Michael shook his head in turn.

"Gym's big enough for both of us, if you weren't done."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I'm waiting for Ino," he said.

Then he finally looked at Michael.

"I have to ask you something."

[rebelheartalien.livejournal.com]

Michael looked back at him, carefully.

"Go for it."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Do you prefer honesty or blissful ignorance?"

Because after Teddy, he wasn't going to spring his announcements on people. Sometimes, perhaps, they didn't want to know. And with Michael, considering, he wanted to leave the option open.

[rebelheartalien.livejournal.com]

"Depends what it's about", Michael told him. "Is it something I'd need to know?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Need? No. Would probably want to know? Yes."

There was a pause.

"You can hit me after if it'll make you feel better."

He feels the need to present this option as well.

[rebelheartalien.livejournal.com]

Michael blinked at him.

"Okay... then tell me, I guess."

[intraspective]

Ino was there, leaning against the door frame and just watching. The anger Liir was putting into his movements was... was impressive.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He noticed her as he slung the broom back into its holster to start on the stances again.

It was like watching a duck shake the water off.

The rage wasn't so much vented as dismissed, taken off like an old coat in good company. It's an interesting sight, really, as the angles of his face slash and realign themselves to a more normal expression and the frenetic energy that seems to be filling him is grounded out until it's almost gone. Just his eyes, green and unsettled, remain as they were.

[intraspective]

"No," Ino said, crossing her arms, "I don't want the lie." Hellos, clearly, were for other people.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Me being angry about things won't help matters," he said, not quite willing to let go yet.

[intraspective]

Her chin raised in stubborn determination. "That's wrong," she informed him, "repressing things only means they'll come out again, only worse. It's better to be angry and get it over with."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

So I'm learning.

"Or I could die before that ever happened. Or get hit in the head and addle myself so I never remember I was upset."

He shook his head, but he did as she requested: no lie. He wouldn't lie to her, not when she was helping him for no reason than her own choice to do so.

He let himself relax back into his previous funk.

"What're we doing today, if I might ask? I'm well warmed up and stretched but I can continue while you do so."

[intraspective]

She eyed him, pleased, but concerned because she was Ino and incapable of not being concerned.

Ino dropped into her stretches before answering. "I was considering more stances," she said, "but I think I'll do something else today all things taken into account. Stances wouldn't help you."

He got a half-smile that was slightly wicked. "Can you meditate, Liir?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Meditate? In what sense?"

He had a tendency to indulge himself in excessive thought (it being so new and different), but he didn't think that was what she meant.

[intraspective]

"Clear your mind," she said, "find your center and learn to work from that."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I've done that once."

It was true.

He and Irji and Manek and Nor had been playing in a barn and Manek had thought it amusing to try and kill him, as he did most days. It hadn't worked, some twist of fate acting to let Liir move just quick enough that the timber hadn't fallen on him, but he'd fallen on his back and all the air had been forced out of his lungs.

And in that moment, he'd seen the universe, the world, the light from the barn window with achingly perfect clarity. When he'd cried after that, it hadn't been from the burn in his lungs or the throbbing pain in his back and sides, it had been the loss of that clarity which he'd mourned so.

[intraspective]

"Could you do it again?" Ino asked, finishing her stretches but not getting off the floor yet. "It might help you with your anger. It helps me when I'm angry." She was honest about that. "Meditation's got a way of helping you think more clearly about your... problems."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I could try," he said, though he obviously wouldn't be knocking the air out of his lungs.

"Tell me what to do."