Roof, Tuesday Night

[the_merriest]

Roof. Nice and quiet up here. Stars. Roof, and trying not to think about ... anything. Thinking was bad. Stars: way better.

Party. She'd missed it. Because. Couldn't, right now. Not a party.

So Rikku was up on the roof. Watching. Thinking. Trying not to think.

(very, very open)

Comments

[raspberryturk]

After the broadcast, Reno headed to the roof. Purely because it was a roof, and not because he might have heard someone was up there, not alright.

But look, someone was up there.

And... not alright.

He quietly shrugged out of his jacket, walking toward her. This was a stupid idea. He was so unwelcome here and the last person she probably wanted to see was him and he was an idiot and he had to do this anyhow.

"It's cold out tonight," he mumbled.

[the_merriest]

Footsteps, so she swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand to be sure they weren't leaking (pull it together Rikku) and jumped up. And.

Oh. Okay. Yeah.

Him.

Right.

She folded her arms and couldn't quite look at him. "'M fine. I was just ... leaving."

Totally. On her way out. Couldn't he tell?

[raspberryturk]

Yeah. Yeah, she was on her way out this whole time. Reno knew.

"So was I," he answered, looking down at the coat. "You.. Uh. Won't need this, then?"

...

Of course she wouldn't. Not if she was leaving. But she was leaving because of him. Which. Was fine. She was allowed.

[the_merriest]

I don't need anything from you.

I'm so sorry.

Go away.

I don't know what I need.

I don't want your coat, dammit.

Can you take it all back? Please? Somehow?

She stared at the rooftop. Near the coat. Not the coat.

"No," she said softly. "Don't ... need that, zoto."

[raspberryturk]

He looked down at the coat, because the coat wasn't her eyes looking anywhere but at him. It didn't have any problems with him, so far as he knew, but with his luck he'd wake up tomorrow and he'd have to kill it like he killed his shoes. At least it was the blue one that he did the worst shit in. This one was just ...

His coat didn't give a shit.

It was just a coat.

And she didn't need it.

That stung more than it should have, maybe.

"I should..." he let go of it. Let the coat fall in a heap on the roof. If it was still there in the morning, he'd understand. He suspected that it would be. "Go. I should go. Things to do, zoto. Cold up here. Crowded."

He turned on his heel, facing the door again. Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.

[the_merriest]

"You can stay," she said. Looking away from his coat him his eyes his freaky tattoos all of it.

Do they have writing on them? I'll lean closer to find out, I'll stare into that sliver of red when you're pressing me down into your bed, I'll place my lips over them, over your lips, your neck, your body, where haven't I kissed you, by now, and you're them. You're not allowed to be them, take it back, make it stop...

"Y-you can stay. I'm. Leaving. Just ... needed some air. Done now. With. Air."

[raspberryturk]

"Didn't come up to stay. Just."

Just... had to make sure you were alright. And probably made it worse. And I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry. I can't change what I am. Can't take back what I did. Shouldn't have gotten close to you at all. Would take back the helicopter ride, the dance, looking at the stars on the beach, looking at the stars from right here...

If it meant I didn't have to see you cry because of me.

"Just came up to turn around and go again. So now I'm goin'."

This was him, going. Few steps. See. He was closer to the door. He was leaving. She didn't have to bother. Not because of him.

[the_merriest]

"You can't just --" She bit her lip, hard, to keep the rest of it from coming out. "Fine. Okay. Go."

If he was going, then leave, and if not, then move so she could reach the damn door herself.

[raspberryturk]

He nodded. She didn't want words. He wouldn't want them either, if this was all different and he was her, somehow, he figured, sitting there and being not-okay and he shouldn't have done this.

Shouldn't have.

He nodded again, swallowed, and headed for the door. Had to go. Had to get the hell off of the roof with the sky with the clouds and the cold. More cold than just the bit of chill in the air.

He'd come back in the morning for his coat. He was pretty sure it would still be there.

[the_merriest]

She watched him go. Because she couldn't not.

And she stared at his coat for a long time.

Should pick it up. Should fold it over and leave it in front of his door. Just so he'd know ... something.

She was so tired. And she didn't ask for ... him to leave his coat here, and now she had to take it down to him just to prove some sort of point, and she didn't care about any of that, and the longer she stared at his coat, the more she resented the damn thing, because if she left it here it was a slap in his face and she never meant any of that but she couldn't just ... here, have your coat back, let's pretend we're sort of okay, when I couldn't find okay with a road map and a compass, and you lied to me, and --

The hell with all of it. Rikku went back to her room.