the roof - early afternoon - 7/24

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Liir had made his way up to the roof earlier broom in hand, sandwiches and cookies packed in his bag, glad that he'd get to spend time with Ino today. Things had ended oddly yesterday at the cafe and he'd hoped that with a little distance from matters, they should have been able to discuss what had happened. Why it'd happened.

At this point, however, Liir was pretty damn sure that Ino wasn't coming. And while one part of him was glad he wouldn't be doing any extensive flying today, the rest of him curled up with his arms around his knees in his spot on the roof and decided that it hated everything.

Maybe she had the right of it, he actually thought, body and soul too tired to even be incredulous at himself.

[open as roofs are][Ino lightly modded with permission from her mun]

Comments

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

Hinata didn't have any classes today, and upon realizing that Hoshi-san was far too absorbed in her books to be any company whatsoever, and yes, caving as well to Yei's insistant demands of going out... had headed for the roof.

She paused upon seeing Liir there, and looking well, so down. Hinata remained quiet, but set Yei down, thinking that, perhaps, if he did not want human company that he'd at least appreciate animal company.

The small white kitten skittered across the roof towards Liir. Hihihi!

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Oh, animal company was just fine. Animal company was simple and fulfilling. You didn't have to say the right things or know unwritten ridiculous rules of conduct. Scritching was good, petting was good... he'd pull out the bag of tuna soon enough.

All right, perhaps he didn't hate everything. Perhaps he just hated everything but Hinata and her kitten.

It was a start.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

Yei wriggled closer, trying to work her clever little way into his lap. He seemed sad? Was he sad? She could make it better! All he had to do was pet her! How could anyone be sad in her presence?

Hinata just smiled, and watched.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He couldn't.

He pulled the kitten into his lap and started petting her, as was her due. He raised his eyes to give Hinata a small, wry smile before turning back to her pet.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

Of course he couldn't. She was completely and utterly the most adorable kitten on the planet! Yei purred loudly at him.

Did he feel better yet? She could purr even louder!

The smile made her, Hinata, feel somewhat relieved. She still hung back though--it was better, really, just to let Yei do this work for the moment.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Oh, she could, couldn't she?

He leaned down to nuzzle her ears with his nose. He, of course, kept petting her as he did. It wouldn't do to slack.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

She tried to lick his chin in determined, if cheerful, retaliation. Slacking was bad, and evil, and... just plain bad.

He totally wasn't allowed to slack.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He wouldn't dream of it. He laughed, just a little, and let her lick his chin as she liked before pressing a soft kiss to her furry little head. Oh and petting. There was more petting.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

Kisses and pettings were excellent things and she wiggled in his lap before falling over in a cheerful, purring, puddle of kitten.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

There were very few things better for the soul than a purring puddle of kitten and Liir couldn't help the soft laugh. He didn't figure Yei would mind, though, as he continued his pettings and scritchings and was very tempted to reward her for the lift of his spirits with a bag of tuna.

He did, eventually, look up though.

"Good afternoon, Hinata."

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"Good afternoon," she said quietly. "Though o-only recently good f-for you, I t-think."

Yei, for her part, was an entirely blissful kitten puddle and quite happy to be so. She blinked her eyes sleepily and yawned.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

That was all that was required of her. She had cute kitten status, which really counted for so very much to Liir.

"My day stood no chance against even one little meow from this one," he admitted with a brief, wry smile.

"How have you been? It's been a few days since I saw you last. And I'm always so rude, ignoring you in favor of the tiny white princess here."

The lady in question, who was flopped out in his lap still, was given another soft scritch behind the ears.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

That got a soft laugh. "I d-don't mind," Hinata assured him. "M-Much like y-your cooking, is it n-not? Yei k-keeps people f-focused on her r-rather than on m-me."

Which was much preferred.

"I h-have been w-well, for a-all of that. M-Mailing letters, a-and venturing s-slowly outside. H-Have you b-been to the n-new deck a-area?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He shook his head.

"I noticed the construction, but I haven't been there."

He kept taking care of Yei, of course, but he looked up.

"And why shouldn't someone focus on you? You're perfectly nice. I don't see what you have to be nervous about. Not that you can't be nervous. I'm the last person to say something like that."

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"I d-don't like it," Hinata said, flushing with embarrassment. "P-People noticing m-me. P-People seeing w-when I f-fail, w-when I'm weak. It's b-better to s-stay out o-of t-their sight a-and let them not n-notice me."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"But what about when you're strong. Don't you want people to see that?"

He just sounded curious.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"T-There's only a f-few people who I'd w-want them to s-see me when it c-comes to my s-strength," Hinata said quietly. "It w-would be e-enough, for me, to k-know I a-am strong."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I wish I could say the same," he admitted with a faint sight before turning his attention to the kitten again.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"W-Why can't y-you?" Just a soft curious question.

Yei purred sleepily.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Because I never can trust my own senses," he admitted as his petting turned softer, slower. He didn't want to disturb her as she drifted off.

"I don't have any reference. Or what reference I have is unhelpful. I can't know what my progress is, if it's true strength or just... delusions."

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"T-There is..." she flushed, "a b-boy back h-home who is m-my reference. W-Whenever I t-think I'm w-weak I a-ask myself w-what he'd t-think and it h-helps. P-Perhaps you need s-such a person?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He considered that.

"When I was given a choice, once," he said, his own tone quiet, "I thought to myself that if I said yes, the man I believe to be my father would be ashamed of me. I would have agreed otherwise."

He looked down at the kitten.

"But he died before I was born, so it's not as if he could really provide an example for much else. And my mother..."

He shook his head.

"I usually use her as an example of what not to do."

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

She shook her head slightly. "T-That never w-works so well," Hinata said. "Y-You n-need to l-look up, not d-down."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Most of those I could call family would be looking 'down'," he said. "Except, as I said, the one who died before I was born. And he was cheating on his wife even then."

He ran a hand through his hair.

"I'll just keep muddling as I am, I suppose."

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"T-There's no o-one you c-can lean on?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He swallowed. And considered the hours he'd spent sitting there.

"No. No, it seems not."

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"A-Ano..." Hinata glanced at him, "I, I'm s-sure that's n-not true..."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I could lean on Karal," he said with a tilt of his head, "but as he's only just saved his entire world and is quite busy with handling his new blindness, it seems a coward's alternative.

"I could lean on Ino, only she seems to have decided I'm no longer worth the trouble for reasons I can't even begin to understand. And she too has her own troubles."

He leaned back against a convenient bit of edging and kept his hand on Yei.

"And most of the others have either run away screaming" and no, he didn't much consider that exaggeration, "or the relationships have just sort of... faded away."

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"E-Everyone has their o-own troubles," she said quietly. "It's l-leaning on others t-that makes it b-bearable."

Hinata studied him.

"A-And Ino-san a-adores you," Hinata said. "It's o-one of the f-first things s-she told m-me when I g-got here. All a-about her b-brother."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"That's never been a luxury I had. And as for Ino, well... I know."

He did know. But it hurt right now and he was still a teenager and one who's emotions were more confused even than most.

"I just don't know what to do when she-- I don't know. And I'm tired of failing in all directions."

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"I-Ino-san doesn't l-love many p-people," Hinata said quietly. "M-Most shinobi d-don't. It's t-too painful. S-She has always b-been popular, b-but not g-going past that f-for many." Silent and watchful she'd seen more of the way the Academy worked than most. "S-She did f-for you."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He turned to Hinata.

"Thank you."

The other girl didn't have to tell him that.

"She doesn't talk much about home. Or about herself. Not like that."

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

Hinata smiled faintly. "S-She's always b-been happier t-talking about other p-people's p-problems. She a-always h-had a project going on b-back home, s-something to k-keep her busy."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He smiled at that. It was true enough, after all.

But he turned his green green eyes on Hinata.

"And you?"

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

She glanced back at him. "W-What about m-me?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Do you love easily?"

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"N-No," she said quietly. "I t-too am a p-product of o-our home."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Everyone is," he agreed. "A product of their home.

"I hardly know how to love. So I try too often. And then I don't know what to do."

He looked down at Yei.

"I wonder which is really worse, in the end."

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"N-Not loving a-at all," she said quietly. "T-That's the worst. T-Too much or t-too little is b-better than that."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Then perhaps I'll feel a bit sorry for my mother."

He wasn't sure she loved anything then, by the end.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

"A-Ano..." she started tentatively, then paused trying to phrase what she wanted to say.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He shook that off.

"Would you like a brownie?"

Food was a good way to distract people.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

Hinata shook her head, and ploughed on. In her slow and stammering matter.

"A-Ano... I'm n-not very s-strong," she said. "B-But you c-can l-lean on me a-at l-least a little. If y-you need t-too."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He didn't say anything for a moment before he gestured that she might come over near him.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

She steeled her nerves and made her careful way over to him, slowly taking a seat next to him.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He held out a hand.

Other than the one that was petting Yei.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

It was definitely tentative, but she slowly reached out to take his hand.

Courage came in odd places. Was this bravery?

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

His fingers curled around hers, cool and a little dry.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

She said nothing, but her fingers squeezed his. This much, this much, she could do.