The Roof, Sunday Morning

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

Identity would seem to be the garment with which one covers the nakedness of the self, in which case, it is best that the garment be loose, a little like the robes of the desert, through which one's nakedness can always be felt, and, sometimes, discerned.
~James Arthur Baldwin

Lucas had been feeling lost lately, like he'd been stripped of the things that made him, well, Lucas. In an attempt to regain his sense of self, he settled on the roof with paper and pen, hoping his rambling writing would change into something good sometime soon with the help of some fresh air.

The crumpled papers next to him would indicate that hadn't happened yet.

[open like an open roof]

Comments

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

Kevin's head slowly emerged from behind the door leading onto the roof. "Dude, we have a roof," he said to no one in particular, having not noticed Lucas yet. He walked on out, grinning and taking in the view.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

Oh great, just the guy Lucas needed to see. He gulped. "Uh, yeah, they tend to be on the top of buildings."

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well sometimes they're all like slanted and stuff and you can't just walk out on them," Kevin pointed out, turning to look at Lucas.

"Oh, hey man." He smiled, recalling the last time they had met up.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"Hey," Lucas raised his hand in a sort of half wave, deciding not to remember last time if it wasn't brought up. "You spend time on many slanted roofs?"

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"Nope," Kevin replied, walking over and sitting down right next to Lucas. "You writing something?"

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"More like trying to write something," Lucas sighed, ripping off another sheet of crap writing and crumpling it in a ball. "It's just not happening for me today."

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"What is it supposed to be, like poetry or something?" He leaned over to look at the blank sheet in front of Lucas, totally rubbing shoulders.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"Or something. I'm sort of lost with what I want to write. Maybe a poem would be easier. Shorter at least," Lucas laughed a little, his leg bumping against Kevin's and sort of resting there.

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"So you're all like intellectual and stuff," Kevin said, impressed. He noticed the leg bump and smiled. Now that he was in a relationship, little touches like that were just innocent and not full of intent.

"Can you read me something you've written?" Cause that would be hot.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"I guess so," Lucas replied, flipping back a few pages in his notebook. He was a little nervous since no one in Fandom had ever read any of his writings. "Here's one. When I was a boy, my family took me on a trip. We didn't go to any exotic place. We didn't go anywhere glamorous. We just drove. We drove the back road from Tree Hill, and we saw all kinds of wonderful things. But where we ended up really wasn't the point. It was the things we saw and the people we met along the way. Something happened that day...something magical. My Uncle let me drive. That was one of the best days of my life."

It was a personal memory, but something felt right about sharing it with Kevin.

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

Kevin leaned back, looking up at the sky in a contemplative manner, like he was really trying to dissect what Lucas had just read. In reality, he was wondering if the other boy would get upset if he asked him if that was supposed to be a poem or not. He really didn't know.

In any case, he was now propping himself up with his arms, and one of these arms was now resting just behind Lucas' back, lightly pressing up against his shirt.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

It really wasn't fair that Kevin was so attractive and open and capable of making Lucas feel something that wasn't bad. Turning to face Kevin, and there was his back pressing against Kevin's arm, Lucas tilted his head, "I don't have any more to that story. I just can't find a way to keep it going."

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

Ah, so it was a story. "I remember the first time I got to drive," Kevin said. "It was so cool. I love cars."

He had stolen him mother's station wagon. He had been fourteen and she had told him he couldn't go to the movies with his friends. He had gotten to the end of their street before realizing he had no clue what he was doing, so he parked it there and ran back to the house, putting the keys back where he had taken them from and closing himself in his room. To this day, his mother brings that up every time she makes her case for moving out of the crime-ridden upscale gated community.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"Cars are great. Driving's even better. Just hop in and go, getting lost in whatever music or thoughts..." Lucas really needed to get out more. His lonely boy emo was threatening to takeover and get him in trouble here. "Sorry, I don't mean to get all deep and stuff."

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"Hey, don't worry about it," Kevin said, turning and smiling at Lucas. "Toby goes all deep on me all the time. I'm used to it."

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"Toby?" Lucas didn't think he'd met any Toby yet. Not that he'd met many people who weren't in his classes.

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"My boyfriend," he clarified. "You don't know him?" Everyone knew Toby.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"Oh!" Lucas was torn between disappointment and relief. Kevin's arm was just a friendly touch, nothing to worry about. "No, I don't think I know him. You guys been together long?"

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"Sometimes it feels like we've been together forever," Kevin replied. "I mean, we have our ups and downs, don't get me wrong, but Toby is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"Forever? What about when...you know, we had that little thing," Lucas wondered, not believing he was saying it out loud. "Well, not little, but, um."

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

Kevin laughed and nudged Lucas gently with his shoulder. "I wasn't cheating," he replied. "We were broken up. Like I said, we have our ups and downs."

And no, it definitely hadn't been little, Kevin recalled, sneaking a fond little glance down at Lucas' crotch.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"Oh good," Lucas had ruined enough relationships he hoped he hadn't inadvertently added to the tally. "Not good, just, uh, you're not broken up now, are you?" Did his voice sound too hopeful?

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"Nope." Kevin reclined all the way back, placing his hand behind his head and gazing up at the sky. "How about you, stud? Seeing anyone special?"

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

Lucas turned to face him, deciding he shouldn't find that sight so attractive. "With two exes in Fandom, I'm sorta laying low right now, keeping things casual." Or just not getting any at all, if he was being honest.

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"Dude, you have two exes here? Someone up there must really hate you," he nodded up towards the clouds.

"Are they hot?" Important questions first.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"Totally," he nodded, leaning down on one arm next to Kevin. "On both counts. But I'm over them." Or so he thought.

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"Don't have your eye on anyone? You've got to admit, you can't turn around without running into a hottie in this school," he said, looking up at Lucas.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"True," Lucas agreed. "Hot people just show up no matter where you are." He didn't mean anyone in particular, really.

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he nodded in agreement. Kevin closed his eyes, enjoying the sun, the cool breeze, and the company.

"This would be a sweet place to take a nap," he commented.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

Setting aside his notebook, Lucas chuckled. "It's a little early for a nap, but this is a good place for it."

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

Kevin stretched and opened one eye to peek at Lucas. "It's never too early for a nap," he countered. "Especially not when you have someone to share it with."

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

Kevin had the greatest ability to make Lucas gulp. "You want to take a nap with me?"

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

"You were here first, dude," he pointed out. "I just don't want to be all awkward and falling asleep next to you. Besides, maybe a little shut-eye will bring you some inspiration. I have the best dreams when I nap."

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

"Not knowing there was going to be napping, I forgot to bring my pillow here," Lucas said, figuring he'd either get a pillow or an out, and either way, he was okay with it.

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

Kevin chuckled. Who needed pillows? He had spent most every night camped out on the beach this summer, no pillow in sight.

He extended his arm and patted his chest, indicating where Lucas could lay his head if needed.

[wanna-be-lucas.livejournal.com]

Lucas told himself it would be rude to turn Kevin down. That was his story, and he wasn't ready to admit to the need for human contact he'd been feeling.

Settling his head where Kevin indicated, Lucas stretched out next to the other boy and closed his eyes. "I hope this helps."

[my-tragic-past.livejournal.com]

Kevin wrapped his arm around Lucas, totally for innocent comfort. He wished Toby was there to join them, maybe he could talk him into roof nap sometime.

"If you wake up before me," he said, "just poke me till I get up."