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fandomhighdorms2008-12-01 08:31 am
dojima-hime.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhighdorms2008-12-01 08:31 am
Entry tags:
First Floor Rec Room, Monday Afternoon (After Classes)
It was too cold to do this at the boardwalk again, so Reno and Dōjima had moved the operation into the dorms. They'd taken over the first-floor rec room, since it had the most seating, and they could hopefully grab anyone going to-and-from the building. There were lots of moddable snacks from JGoB, and the two co-conspirators were in high spirits.
"So!" Dōjima announced, clapping her hands together. "Since the teachers around here seem more intent on providing classes of 'My Issues, Let Me Show Them To You' rather than providing any useful information regarding lust, love, and sex, you people are damn lucky that we're so civic-minded. Rather than leaving you to the tender mercies of scare-tactics and morality plays, Reno and I are here to help you sort out the difference between good sex and bad sex, and to beat into your heads that stupid sex is always stupid, no matter how good it is."
"Lucky for you, we know what we're talking about, and we're damn good at it, too." Dōjima paused for a moment before shrugging. "Well, I am, at least. I can't vouch for Red's talents personally, but I've heard glowing reviews. And by glowing, you should see the way Rikku blushes."
Reno's reaction to that one was a somewhat larger version of his usual shit-eating grin.
"See, I got lucky this semester. I didn't end up with none of them teachers who toss their issues around." A pause. "I mean, there'd be somethin' wrong if Miss Bennet started doin' that. You should'a seen the look on her face when I mentioned my magazine collection in the first class, zoto." He took a casual stroll across the front of the presentation area, musing aloud as he went. "So, last time we covered all that obligatory, mandatory, birth-control and avoidin' STDs stuff. Which is good stuff to have a workin' knowlege of, because there ain't nothin' that'll put a damper on your sex life like havin' a kid to take care of or pickin' up the clap. I mean, you can have sex if you have the clap, but that'd make you a real big friggin' jerk, yo. And you'll probably end up gettin' your ass kicked or somethin'. Don't do it."
"No, seriously, don't do it. They have shots for that sort of thing, and if you go spreading it around, there will be an ass kicking in the future," Dōjima replied. "And here's the thing - prevention? Can be totally sexy. You just have to work it right."
"Today, however, we aren't covering that. We already did it once, and if you need a refresher, well, you'll have to ask us after class. Today, boys and girls, we're talking about etiquette. The pick up, how to behave during, and the proper way to haul your ass out of there afterwards. Because if you don't have good manners, there's no way there's going to be a round two."
"We're gonna start with the pick-up, yo." Reno tossed in. "It's important to know when you're goin' in for the catch what it is you're lookin' for in the first place. If all you're aimin' for is a one-nighter, then you don't wanna start talkin' about your dogs, or your aunt in Corel, or how you're tryin' to earn your Bachelor's in... whatever or somethin'. I mean, you can, but that'll give the he or she you're zeroin' in on the idea that you're gonna want more. Nothin' says 'looking for long-term' like talkin' about long-term, you know? Try to avoid that mixed-signal thing. You wanna communicate that you're gonna get up and leave in the morning, or otherwise that you might stick around, swap numbers, that kinda thing. You ain't in this business to break hearts, guys. You just wanna get laid, yo. And anyhow, if you're lookin' for long and meaningful, casual sex probably ain't the best startin' point to begin with."
"Which isn't to say swapping numbers means you're looking for meaningful," Dōjima interjected. "There's always the long and proud tradition of the 'Fuck Buddy'. If you think someone has Fuck Buddy potential and you want to trade digits, that's fine, but be sure you're clear up-front what you're looking for."
"Now remember, honesty is always the best policy. If some girl or guy flips at you that they aren't some cheap one-nighter? Guess what? No matter how hot they are, you do not want that kind of neurotic mess in your bed, not even for just a few hours. It's not worth the work, and you won't have enough fun to make up for the tears and screeching the next morning. If they don't want to play ball, move on to the next target."
"Really, guys. There are plenty of chocobo in the flock. If this one gets away, that one's probably better lookin' anyhow. Especially after a few more drinks." Reno shrugged. "So! Now we got our catch, we laid down our intentions and made damn sure to find out what it is they got in mind, too. Time to go enjoy ourselves. Pickin' where the act takes place is important, here. We got hotel rooms, apartments, houses- if you're gonna take her home to mom and dad's place, guys, you better be damn sure that ma and pa ain't home. You're lookin' to avoid the awkward moments, here. And there ain't nothin' more awkward for some people than bumpin' into folks who might have a problem with some stranger makin' time with their baby. Guys, now we're thinkin' about what we can do to avoid her havin' to make the walk of shame, here. If it means shellin' out for a hotel room, then by all means, bust into that wallet of yours. If you're a regular at that bar and she knows it, she'll warn her friends offa you if you leave her to the dogs, zoto."
"Best part about living across the hall from Romeo. Minimal walk of shame in the morning," Dōjima admitted blithely. "Keep in mind - dorm rooms suck. The walls are thin, everyone knows everyone's business, and there's always the roommate."
"But Reno brings up a good point about how everyone looks better after a few drinks. Alcohol can be a great assist in getting to know a new friend, but it shouldn't be used to get someone in bed that wouldn't go there sober. The name of the game is consent, kids, and it's important. If the other person is so drunk they can't walk? You've got no business fucking that, because they can't make the decision." Dōjima leveled a serious look at their audience. "There's a difference between tipsy and drunk, and you have to make sure you don't cross it. That falls under Stupid Sex, and we don't do that around here."
Reno nodded, his own expression grave. "Even a guy with morals as messed-up as mine can tell you that one is way outta the question, yo. But it brings us to the during part real smoothly, anyhow. Consent. You gotta pay attention to what it is your partner wants. It don't matter if you been in a loving relationship for months, or if this is someone you ain't gonna ever see again. Everyone's got a line, and it's up to each an' every one of you not to cross it. Know when to stop and know when to go. Some people make their red lights real clear, others feel like it's their solemn duty to keep their partner satisfied regardless of how uncomfortable it makes 'em. And, for as... selfless or whatever as that might be, it's stupid, and it's destructive, and in the end it ain't fun for nobody."
Dōjima looked over at her partner and grinned. "This is why I love you in the purely platonic fashion," she announced gleefully. "Reno's right. There's following the three G's - which is good, giving, and game for those of you who are ignorant - and then there's going where you don't want to. Yeah, we should always strive to make sure the other person is enjoying themselves, but not at the cost of your own comfort level. Sex is supposed to be fun for both parties, otherwise there's no point to it. If you just use your partner to get-off, you're going to get a real nasty reputation, and then you'll be stuck with no one to play with. If you put your partner ahead of you and do things you aren't okay with, well, it's usually pretty obvious, and that kinda kills the mood. So again, communication is key. I'm not talking essays of 'I am willing to do this and this and this' or anything, but basic 'yes' 'no' and 'slow down' are words you need in your vocabulary."
"Although if you're playing certain types of games, where no isn't no, and you damn well better have discussed that beforehand, make sure you know your partner's safeword. Know it. Love it. Don't ignore it."
"Safewords don't gotta be nothin' fancy," Reno intoned, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall. "If you're playin' a game that vetoes the 'no,' then even somethin' simple, like green for good, yellow for wait, and red for get the hell offa me work. If you're playin' games, know what you're playin', know that your partner takes this kinda thing seriously, and make sure both of you are damn clear what those words are. There are terms. There's terms to everything. Rules. And this is one place where those rules do not get bent, be it simple screwin' or movin' into kink like roleplay or edgeplay. People get hurt, mentally, emotionally, and physically, when you ignore your rules."
"TMI, Red," Dōjima sang, but she was laughing as she said it. "So, now that we've beat it into your heads that Consent Is Important, let's get back to manners. I mentioned GGG. It's a phrase coined by one of your American columnists, and it stands for 'good, giving, and game,' which is what we should all strive to be for our partners - temporary bed buddies or a more permanent relationship. Think 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.' Keep it fun, and keep laughing. Seriously. Sex is fucking hilarious, if you think about it, and if you can't laugh about sex then you probably shouldn't be having it."
"However, there always comes the most awkward - and hilarious - part of the hook-up. The escape."
"There's somethin' to be said for bein' awake before the other person and just makin' a break for it," Reno noted. "If you can do it on your one-nighter, then do it. You might not always get so lucky. But don't hang around if you can avoid it. You wanna freak someone out, let 'em wake up to see you grinnin' all awkward-like right there on the bed. We're talkin' the art of the duck-and-cover. The, no, really, this was just one night. Don't ask their name, yo. If you don't remember it, they don't need to know that. If the other person is up before you, and this is where they happen to live, maybe you'll be lucky and they'll be in the shower. The shower is a useful tool for that kinda thing. It's their 'get outta jail free' card, and again, your chance to make your exit without that awkward morning after junk."
"One night stands and Fuck Buddies should not expect breakfast in bed," Dōjima put in dryly. "You wake up and I'm in my shower? Don't join me, unless I've left the bathroom door open. Get the hell out of my room. If you're at your place, and have somewhere else you need to be while Sleeping Beauty is still snoring? Get up. Bang around. Make noise and open the shades a bit. If you want to cheat, set the alarm clock to go off while you're in the shower. If you do encounter them, always smile, and be sure to say thanks. Don't get bitchy, because it ruins the post-sex glow. But the two of you had an agreement, and it's time to go back to your separate lives."
"Girls, don't offer your phone numbers," Reno continued, starting his slow pace across the room again. "If he wants it, he'll ask for it. Offering just puts him on the spot, and it'll probably end up in the trash afterward anyhow. Go on and leave your number somewhere, if you want, but don't go holdin' your breath waitin' for a phone call. It was a one-nighter, you get no guarantees. Heck, this works both ways. Guys, if you wanna find her again, try the same bar or whatever, but don't take it personally if she doesn't wanna go out for a round two. Learn to leave off."
"If your playmate pushes for a phone number, feel free to give a fake just to get out of there faster. I always memorized the non-emergency number for the local police. That gives a pretty good hint," Dōjima said, smiling. "Guys, you can leave your number too, if you're slipping out. There's nothing un-masculine or whatever about leaving a blank business card with your number scrawled on the back. Although this does bring us to another good point - bringing someone to your home is always risky, because now they know where you live. If you're fine with that, great, and on an island this small, it doesn't really matter. You'll run into each other eventually. When you do, you don't have to acknowledge what happened if you don't want to. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. It's only polite. If you want to communicate discreetly to the other person that you'd be up for a repeat adventure, just flirt, same as you would with anyone else. It's not hard, and it gets to the point without outright saying, 'let's ditch this and go fuck.'"
"I think that just about covers it, zoto," Reno mused, taking a moment to tick off he points they made on his fingers. Yep. That seemed about it. "If any of you got any questions, feel free to come an' talk to either of us, right now, or anytime. You don't gotta make a production out of askin' questions about sex if you don't wanna, and I'll even make a point not to mock you shamelessly on the radio for it, either." A pause, a playful grin. "And don't forget your goodie bags before you go, yo."
[OOC: Yes, they're at it again. Up early for SP goodness, and NWS - it IS Reno and Dōjima talking about sex.]
"So!" Dōjima announced, clapping her hands together. "Since the teachers around here seem more intent on providing classes of 'My Issues, Let Me Show Them To You' rather than providing any useful information regarding lust, love, and sex, you people are damn lucky that we're so civic-minded. Rather than leaving you to the tender mercies of scare-tactics and morality plays, Reno and I are here to help you sort out the difference between good sex and bad sex, and to beat into your heads that stupid sex is always stupid, no matter how good it is."
"Lucky for you, we know what we're talking about, and we're damn good at it, too." Dōjima paused for a moment before shrugging. "Well, I am, at least. I can't vouch for Red's talents personally, but I've heard glowing reviews. And by glowing, you should see the way Rikku blushes."
Reno's reaction to that one was a somewhat larger version of his usual shit-eating grin.
"See, I got lucky this semester. I didn't end up with none of them teachers who toss their issues around." A pause. "I mean, there'd be somethin' wrong if Miss Bennet started doin' that. You should'a seen the look on her face when I mentioned my magazine collection in the first class, zoto." He took a casual stroll across the front of the presentation area, musing aloud as he went. "So, last time we covered all that obligatory, mandatory, birth-control and avoidin' STDs stuff. Which is good stuff to have a workin' knowlege of, because there ain't nothin' that'll put a damper on your sex life like havin' a kid to take care of or pickin' up the clap. I mean, you can have sex if you have the clap, but that'd make you a real big friggin' jerk, yo. And you'll probably end up gettin' your ass kicked or somethin'. Don't do it."
"No, seriously, don't do it. They have shots for that sort of thing, and if you go spreading it around, there will be an ass kicking in the future," Dōjima replied. "And here's the thing - prevention? Can be totally sexy. You just have to work it right."
"Today, however, we aren't covering that. We already did it once, and if you need a refresher, well, you'll have to ask us after class. Today, boys and girls, we're talking about etiquette. The pick up, how to behave during, and the proper way to haul your ass out of there afterwards. Because if you don't have good manners, there's no way there's going to be a round two."
"We're gonna start with the pick-up, yo." Reno tossed in. "It's important to know when you're goin' in for the catch what it is you're lookin' for in the first place. If all you're aimin' for is a one-nighter, then you don't wanna start talkin' about your dogs, or your aunt in Corel, or how you're tryin' to earn your Bachelor's in... whatever or somethin'. I mean, you can, but that'll give the he or she you're zeroin' in on the idea that you're gonna want more. Nothin' says 'looking for long-term' like talkin' about long-term, you know? Try to avoid that mixed-signal thing. You wanna communicate that you're gonna get up and leave in the morning, or otherwise that you might stick around, swap numbers, that kinda thing. You ain't in this business to break hearts, guys. You just wanna get laid, yo. And anyhow, if you're lookin' for long and meaningful, casual sex probably ain't the best startin' point to begin with."
"Which isn't to say swapping numbers means you're looking for meaningful," Dōjima interjected. "There's always the long and proud tradition of the 'Fuck Buddy'. If you think someone has Fuck Buddy potential and you want to trade digits, that's fine, but be sure you're clear up-front what you're looking for."
"Now remember, honesty is always the best policy. If some girl or guy flips at you that they aren't some cheap one-nighter? Guess what? No matter how hot they are, you do not want that kind of neurotic mess in your bed, not even for just a few hours. It's not worth the work, and you won't have enough fun to make up for the tears and screeching the next morning. If they don't want to play ball, move on to the next target."
"Really, guys. There are plenty of chocobo in the flock. If this one gets away, that one's probably better lookin' anyhow. Especially after a few more drinks." Reno shrugged. "So! Now we got our catch, we laid down our intentions and made damn sure to find out what it is they got in mind, too. Time to go enjoy ourselves. Pickin' where the act takes place is important, here. We got hotel rooms, apartments, houses- if you're gonna take her home to mom and dad's place, guys, you better be damn sure that ma and pa ain't home. You're lookin' to avoid the awkward moments, here. And there ain't nothin' more awkward for some people than bumpin' into folks who might have a problem with some stranger makin' time with their baby. Guys, now we're thinkin' about what we can do to avoid her havin' to make the walk of shame, here. If it means shellin' out for a hotel room, then by all means, bust into that wallet of yours. If you're a regular at that bar and she knows it, she'll warn her friends offa you if you leave her to the dogs, zoto."
"Best part about living across the hall from Romeo. Minimal walk of shame in the morning," Dōjima admitted blithely. "Keep in mind - dorm rooms suck. The walls are thin, everyone knows everyone's business, and there's always the roommate."
"But Reno brings up a good point about how everyone looks better after a few drinks. Alcohol can be a great assist in getting to know a new friend, but it shouldn't be used to get someone in bed that wouldn't go there sober. The name of the game is consent, kids, and it's important. If the other person is so drunk they can't walk? You've got no business fucking that, because they can't make the decision." Dōjima leveled a serious look at their audience. "There's a difference between tipsy and drunk, and you have to make sure you don't cross it. That falls under Stupid Sex, and we don't do that around here."
Reno nodded, his own expression grave. "Even a guy with morals as messed-up as mine can tell you that one is way outta the question, yo. But it brings us to the during part real smoothly, anyhow. Consent. You gotta pay attention to what it is your partner wants. It don't matter if you been in a loving relationship for months, or if this is someone you ain't gonna ever see again. Everyone's got a line, and it's up to each an' every one of you not to cross it. Know when to stop and know when to go. Some people make their red lights real clear, others feel like it's their solemn duty to keep their partner satisfied regardless of how uncomfortable it makes 'em. And, for as... selfless or whatever as that might be, it's stupid, and it's destructive, and in the end it ain't fun for nobody."
Dōjima looked over at her partner and grinned. "This is why I love you in the purely platonic fashion," she announced gleefully. "Reno's right. There's following the three G's - which is good, giving, and game for those of you who are ignorant - and then there's going where you don't want to. Yeah, we should always strive to make sure the other person is enjoying themselves, but not at the cost of your own comfort level. Sex is supposed to be fun for both parties, otherwise there's no point to it. If you just use your partner to get-off, you're going to get a real nasty reputation, and then you'll be stuck with no one to play with. If you put your partner ahead of you and do things you aren't okay with, well, it's usually pretty obvious, and that kinda kills the mood. So again, communication is key. I'm not talking essays of 'I am willing to do this and this and this' or anything, but basic 'yes' 'no' and 'slow down' are words you need in your vocabulary."
"Although if you're playing certain types of games, where no isn't no, and you damn well better have discussed that beforehand, make sure you know your partner's safeword. Know it. Love it. Don't ignore it."
"Safewords don't gotta be nothin' fancy," Reno intoned, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall. "If you're playin' a game that vetoes the 'no,' then even somethin' simple, like green for good, yellow for wait, and red for get the hell offa me work. If you're playin' games, know what you're playin', know that your partner takes this kinda thing seriously, and make sure both of you are damn clear what those words are. There are terms. There's terms to everything. Rules. And this is one place where those rules do not get bent, be it simple screwin' or movin' into kink like roleplay or edgeplay. People get hurt, mentally, emotionally, and physically, when you ignore your rules."
"TMI, Red," Dōjima sang, but she was laughing as she said it. "So, now that we've beat it into your heads that Consent Is Important, let's get back to manners. I mentioned GGG. It's a phrase coined by one of your American columnists, and it stands for 'good, giving, and game,' which is what we should all strive to be for our partners - temporary bed buddies or a more permanent relationship. Think 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.' Keep it fun, and keep laughing. Seriously. Sex is fucking hilarious, if you think about it, and if you can't laugh about sex then you probably shouldn't be having it."
"However, there always comes the most awkward - and hilarious - part of the hook-up. The escape."
"There's somethin' to be said for bein' awake before the other person and just makin' a break for it," Reno noted. "If you can do it on your one-nighter, then do it. You might not always get so lucky. But don't hang around if you can avoid it. You wanna freak someone out, let 'em wake up to see you grinnin' all awkward-like right there on the bed. We're talkin' the art of the duck-and-cover. The, no, really, this was just one night. Don't ask their name, yo. If you don't remember it, they don't need to know that. If the other person is up before you, and this is where they happen to live, maybe you'll be lucky and they'll be in the shower. The shower is a useful tool for that kinda thing. It's their 'get outta jail free' card, and again, your chance to make your exit without that awkward morning after junk."
"One night stands and Fuck Buddies should not expect breakfast in bed," Dōjima put in dryly. "You wake up and I'm in my shower? Don't join me, unless I've left the bathroom door open. Get the hell out of my room. If you're at your place, and have somewhere else you need to be while Sleeping Beauty is still snoring? Get up. Bang around. Make noise and open the shades a bit. If you want to cheat, set the alarm clock to go off while you're in the shower. If you do encounter them, always smile, and be sure to say thanks. Don't get bitchy, because it ruins the post-sex glow. But the two of you had an agreement, and it's time to go back to your separate lives."
"Girls, don't offer your phone numbers," Reno continued, starting his slow pace across the room again. "If he wants it, he'll ask for it. Offering just puts him on the spot, and it'll probably end up in the trash afterward anyhow. Go on and leave your number somewhere, if you want, but don't go holdin' your breath waitin' for a phone call. It was a one-nighter, you get no guarantees. Heck, this works both ways. Guys, if you wanna find her again, try the same bar or whatever, but don't take it personally if she doesn't wanna go out for a round two. Learn to leave off."
"If your playmate pushes for a phone number, feel free to give a fake just to get out of there faster. I always memorized the non-emergency number for the local police. That gives a pretty good hint," Dōjima said, smiling. "Guys, you can leave your number too, if you're slipping out. There's nothing un-masculine or whatever about leaving a blank business card with your number scrawled on the back. Although this does bring us to another good point - bringing someone to your home is always risky, because now they know where you live. If you're fine with that, great, and on an island this small, it doesn't really matter. You'll run into each other eventually. When you do, you don't have to acknowledge what happened if you don't want to. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. It's only polite. If you want to communicate discreetly to the other person that you'd be up for a repeat adventure, just flirt, same as you would with anyone else. It's not hard, and it gets to the point without outright saying, 'let's ditch this and go fuck.'"
"I think that just about covers it, zoto," Reno mused, taking a moment to tick off he points they made on his fingers. Yep. That seemed about it. "If any of you got any questions, feel free to come an' talk to either of us, right now, or anytime. You don't gotta make a production out of askin' questions about sex if you don't wanna, and I'll even make a point not to mock you shamelessly on the radio for it, either." A pause, a playful grin. "And don't forget your goodie bags before you go, yo."
[OOC: Yes, they're at it again. Up early for SP goodness, and NWS - it IS Reno and Dōjima talking about sex.]
Mingle!
Re: Mingle!
And hey, the last time there had been fun free stuff.
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And a tiny bit nervous about what Yurika would have to say.
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Oh. This? This. Staying to watch this.
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Listen to the Dynamic Duo
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Questions!
Activity!
Or to mock, but that was beside the point.
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Like any of that would really stop her cheerfully mingling all the same.
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"Hey," he smiled at Romeo.
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Talk to Dōjima & Reno
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Reno was having a good day. Any day he could babble endlessly about sex in public was, of course, a good one.
Re: Talk to Dōjima & Reno
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[OOC: Quasi-here, massive SP. Work is evil.]
Goodie Bags!
Inside the bags, you'll find more condoms (male and female) and lube, breath mints, and a deck of cards (http://store.babeland.com/sexy-games/the-kama-sutra-deck).
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Re: Goodie Bags!
Re: Goodie Bags!
Re: Goodie Bags!
Re: Goodie Bags!
Re: Goodie Bags!
Re: Goodie Bags!
Re: Goodie Bags!
Re: Goodie Bags!
Re: Goodie Bags!
Re: Goodie Bags!
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OOC
ETA: We have a bit of a work emergency. If you need Yurika for something, please poke me over email. Otherwise, I will try to pick up pings tonight after my date.