Fifth Floor Hallway and Downwards, Thursday Morning

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

The door to 513 creaked open, then slammed shut.

Jeff grabbed for his underwear. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god. "Nudity!" he called out, to no one in particular, "I can't escape it!" His sheer terror seeped down into the carpet below him (at least, he had the idea that it was) and as soon as he stopped being rooted to the ground, he started running.

"Pants!" he cried, "All I've got are pants! I always knew this would happen! It's the Apocalypse! Open your closets!"

And so, he thundered across the hallway, and, after a while, down the stairs. "Closets!"

[ ooopen, of course, for anyone who wants to run into him! ]

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[withoutverona]

Romeo emerged from his room in an oversized Hawaiian shirt and yesterday's pants with a fetching mustard blotch on the front. "Jeff?" he asked, recognizing the voice. "What on earth....?"

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"There are no more trousers," Jeff cried, looking as if he'd flail his hands around if they weren't too busy shielding his underwear and what was in it. "And I am starting to pass the pants horizon! It's the apocalypse, Romeo! And it's naked!"

[withoutverona]

Romeo sifted through that and came out with the most important thing.

"So there should be an orgy?"

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Jeff abruptly halted his dash down the hallway. He just stopped.

Very, very slowly, his head turned 'round so he could look at Romeo over his shoulder. "Oh, no, Romeo," he said, hushed, "No orgies. There are no orgies in a naked apocalypse. Only dashed dreams."

[withoutverona]

"It hardly seems fair to get us naked for the apocalypse and deny us an orgy," Romeo grumbled. "But I suppose that's where the dashed dreams come in."

"I don't think," he added kindly, as an afterthought, "this is really the apocalypse. Probably."

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"Romeo," he said, or rather, wheezed. He was starting to hyperventilate, "I have no more clothes! There is a treshold for nudity on any man, and we are about to collectively--" he gestured helpfully, "Cross it! At once! So much nudity in one concentrated area might send the world spinning on another axis!"

[withoutverona]

Romeo would have laughed if Jeff's panic hadn't been so dreadfully catching. He was starting to envision a future that went down precisely that way.

"Do you want my shirt?" he asked, thinking that might help, as he started to unbutton it.

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"No!" he said, swiftly, "If you take your shirt off, then the nudity balance remains the same throughout the school! Keep it on!" Jeff was very, very emphatic on this point.

[withoutverona]

Romeo rebuttoned the thing so as not to give Jeff a heart attack. "All right," he said quickly. "All right, Jeff, peace. I wouldn't want to tilt the nudity balance toward apocalypse."

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"Keep the faith," Jeff said, desperately. "Keep it close, Romeo!" He turned so he could resume his running.

[withoutverona]

Romeo shook his head, went back into his room, and tried desperately to stop thinking about naked apocalypses, orgies, or the combination of the two.

[future_sandworm]

Leto was on his way down from the third floor, when the clearly upset boy appeared. Leto didn't recognise him, but he gave him a curious look. "What has happened?"

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"Nudity!" Jeff called, "Everywhere! It'll swallow us all!"

[future_sandworm]

Leto considered this statement for a moment, then asked: "Nudity is dangerous?" It would be in a desert, of course, but hardly here.

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you don't know about the dangers of nudity," Jeff said. He had to stop just to let him in on them. "There's a treshold, a nudity treshold. Once the treshold has been broken, there's no going back."

[future_sandworm]

Perhaps this was a theory relevant in the boy's particular culture, or perhaps he was just a little odd. Leto nodded. "So where does one go, if there's no going back?"

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"It'll start the spiral of nudity," he shot back, "Suddenly, you'll be naked everywhere! People will start staring! Put enough staring in one area, and it might knock the planet out of orbit."

Jeff was very concerned about the state of his clothes, yes.

[future_sandworm]

The boy was either mad or his culture had a very strong taboo on nudity. "Often you find that once a boundary is crossed, if you can overcome the fear you will be stronger."

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"I tried that," Jeff said, simply.

The way his face sort of hung implied that it hadn't worked out very well.

[future_sandworm]

"Perhaps you haven't received the proper training for facing difficult tasks," Leto suggested helpfully.

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Jeff gave him a hard look. A deep, dark, angry look of fury.

"Probably," he said, meekly.

[future_sandworm]

"It was not meant as an insult," Leto said quickly. "Merely as a helpful suggestion." He hadn't introduced himself, he remembered. "I am Leto Atriedes."

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"I am Jeff," he said, echoing Leto's formality, "Jeff Murdock!"

Except a lot more eager. "But I can't keep standing around," he continued, "The nudity might get worse."

[future_sandworm]

"Ah, yes," Leto said, not quite sure how, but deciding it best not to argue. "I hope you will survive it, Jeff."

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

Sokka emerged from his room wearing only a pair of blue sweatpants, and peered at his neighbor. "Having pants is a GOOD thing," he pointed out. "Imagine if all you had left were shirts!"