Gym - after classes - 2/10, Tuesday

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Liir stared at the punching bag. The punching bag stared back at him.

He couldn't hit it, wouldn't hit it. What had it done to him, after all? Of course, it could take the hit, would feel nothing, would not be damaged even a scratch, but he couldn't find it in himself to just... hit it. No games, no lies, just aggression.

He'd tried once for Professor Deadpool's class and while practicing for Ino, but it'd always been slightly unnatural, against his grain. Like hitting himself, in a way. Wrong. He'd only really accomplished it by making it a game, thinking of it like a gooseball. But it'd come up again, talking to Dinah the other day, during class today, even to some extent talking to Professor Atreides about what he wanted to do, what he hoped to do.

So he was going to have to learn. He might have magic, might be learning how to use it, but the world didn't change by words alone. If anyone had taught him that, it was his mother.

Get angry, Thropp. Get mad. Snap. Lose it. Hit the bag like it's--like it's the Wizard!

But that just produced a glare, a formidable one to be sure, but a glare all the same. Ridiculous, when it was really just a punching bag.

Woman's anger. That's all you've got. Slow, cold, calculating woman's anger. Sarima would laugh at you.

She did laugh at me. Frequently. When she deigned to notice me.

There you go then.

And now he was talking to himself. Brilliant.

[open for later gym use or any throppishness you might require!]

Comments

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

After the weekend and after classes (and after the hangover finally subsided), Jen headed for the gym with one very singular purpose in mind: pummeling the heavy bag within an inch of its life.

She stowed her gear bag in the corner, went through her stretches, and put on her workout gloves with silent efficiency before moving toward where Liir stood.

"Are you using that?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He startled at the other voice and shook his head quickly.

"No," he said with a shake of his head, "I seem... unable to."

He felt almost sick to his stomach with it.

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

Jen gave him a curious look, and her voice softened as she asked, "Do you mind if I do?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He shook his head, giving her a faintly self-depreciating smile.

"Not in the least," he said, "Goodness knows some use should come from it. Would you mind if I watched?"

Which sounded so odd, but maybe if he did watch. Maybe if he could understand it, get a handle on it, feel it while he had the energy and the focus to really pay attention, maybe he'd get it.

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

"Not at all," Jen answered, then added with a slight smile, "It doesn't hit back, you know."

Squaring off in front of the bag, she drew a deep breath and focused for a moment before all but throwing herself at it in a quick flurry of jabs, backhand strikes, and every now and then a vicious hook kick or roundhouse. They weren't in any way flashy moves, just quick and practical, punctuated by the occasional wordless yell.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

His smile back was a little tight lipped--goodness knew he wasn't worried about pain or reprisal, considering--but he settled down and watched her, noting the yell and the quick jabs and the rest. The viciousness.

"How do you do that?"

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

Jen finished off with an elbow strike to approximately chin height and a side kick before she steadied the bag and turned to face Liir.

"Do what?" she queried.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Hit it."

He shook his head quickly, as if to clear his thoughts off for a brisk metaphorical walkabout.

"I don't mean the physics of it. I know you propel your fist forward towards the bag and there you go. I mean... why. How do you work up the desire to do it? That connection between arm and brain that makes you strike?"

Of all the things he could remember, he couldn't remember how he'd ever done it, ever been so angry. He remembered... he remembered the sound of it, hearing the thropp-thropp-thropp of it in his mourning, as violent as the raindrops in the Emerald City. He remembered hitting it over and over and over again in mourning, in love and hatred for someone who'd left him. He'd largely settled himself to that and now he couldn't figure out how that worked. Couldn't work it out.

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

Jen opened her mouth to reply, then shut it again as she tried to formulate an answer. She'd never thought of this sort of practice as something that needed that kind of desire, that kind of driving motivation, and she wasn't sure how to respond at first.

"I need to stay in practice," she finally offered. "Doing my job or staying alive's depended on me knowing how to fight for so long, it's just something I have to do, now. Almost to the same point as breathing."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"So you remember what's important to you, how it depends on it, and that... makes you hit things?"

He honestly just sounded lost. This wasn't some exercise.

"I'm new to this. Sorry. Nameless Name, I'm sorry I'm interrupting. It's stupid."

What kind of idiot didn't know how to get angry? Of course, he could be annoyed with the best of them, was annoyed with himself right now for the veritable sympathy ploy that'd come out of him a moment before, but that just caused him to tighten up, pull into himself more.

"What do you do? Your job, I mean. Sorry, I don't mean to pry. Or to keep apologizing.

"The squirrels are going to have a field day with this, I swear."

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

"Not always," Jen acknowledged. "Sometimes I just do it because it's what I know how to do. It's familiar, and that's comforting. I've had some really good workouts when I'm mad, and it is a good way to work out the frustration. It's not necessary, though."

She leaned against the bag, one arm lazily wrapped around it for support, and regarded him thoughtfully. "I am -- or was --" the distinction was kind of fuzzy -- "a police officer, back home. And I don't mind the interruption. That was a good question, actually. Nobody's ever asked me that before."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I'm trying to figure it out," he told her honestly. She hadn't laughed yet, after all, so that earned her a bit of the truth.

"It's embarrassing. Just... things happen here and it's all well and good to help with the research or the investigation or even just flying surveillance, but I can't even-- I just can't make myself do something like that."

Beat.

"I don't even know your name and I'm already spilling out the secrets of my heart all over your shoes."

He put up a hand.

"Liir."

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

Jen hadn't been much for laughing until she met Wes, and on days like today she was closer to the way she'd been before that, so there wasn't really any danger of that.

"Jen," she answered, wiping her hand on her pants and holding it out to him. "Jen Scotts. It's not . . . you know, it's not always a bad thing to have to hit something or someone. To defend yourself, or someone else, if you have to. It's completely different from if you were going out just doing it to people because you could, or because it's fun."

It was an awkward sort of speech, and she imagined it would have been a lot more sophisticated if it had been, say, one of the Angel Grove Rangers delivering it. But Jen hailed from the post-obligatory-PSA era.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I don't think it's bad," he said with a shake of his head, "in fact, I know I'm going to have to do it at some point. I can't just... rely on others to do it for me."

He wouldn't make anyone fight his battles for him, if only because he'd be terrified of losing them. The only reason he thought letting Princess Nastoya's people look into things was all right was because he didn't know any of them. Selfish, but true.

"I don't think anyone is wrong for fighting. At least, none of the people who'd be doing it for the right reasons. It's just-- I don't know. I couldn't even smash a statue today in class."

No, really.

"Which highlighted just how, well, ineffectual I'd be in a fight. I know stances and how to move and dodge. I just can't work up that--" he had no idea what it was "to" and he made an "oomph" noise with a mimed fist.

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

Jen nodded thoughtfully. "Do you think it has something to do with your emotional state, maybe? If it really came down to a situation where you had to, do you think you could?"

Beat.

Blink.

"Smashing statues in class?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He shook his head.

"It's happened. Generally, I run or I grab the people I would be defending and run with them."

She was absolutely right it had to do with his emotional state. He, however, was entirely wrong as to how it had to do with his emotional state. Only time would tell, however, as to whether he'd figure it out. Or have it figure itself out.

"Management theory. We were to smash statues as a form of, well, some manner of catharsis for the weekend, I think."

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

"Well, there's nothing wrong with running," Jen assured him. "It's safer than trying to make a pointless stand and risk yourself, sometimes."

She grimaced and added, "Oh, yeah, the weekend. This was my form of smashing statues."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I was French. And I sang. But I just... get annoyed. Hitting something won't help; I know that. I just, well, made plans to bake tomorrow."

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

"I ended up in Germany," Jen said, a stormy look crossing her face for a moment. "I was some insane girl that Professor Eriksen apparently knows, and I sold the pizza parlor furniture to buy a ticket to get to Berlin for a concert, and I woke up yesterday in a hotel room with a strange guy. So today I'm hitting things."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"That's probably healthier," he said with a wince.

"The hitting. Not the, er, selling furniture.

"Where's Germany, by the way?"

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

"It's in Europe," Jen explained, then clarified, "Across the ocean from here. And now I have to figure out how to get the furniture back."

That was less the reason for the traumatized look on her face than Heather's sexy-accent fling, but it was the one she was mentioning aloud.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Can't you just buy it back from the person who bought it? Who, er, bought it anyway?"

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

"I guess I could shake down the staff for the information," Jen agreed.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"You don't remember?" he asked, a little surprised at that.

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

"I know she told them to do it," Jen said, "and then she took off to go party. Irresponsible little . . . ugh."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"My whoever-he-was drank most of my cooking wine," he told her with empathy, "and I can't go home to replace it, so I'm out of luck until some things get resolved. I've still got a couple of the whites but that's it."

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

Jen quirked an eyebrow. "You can't just get some here?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I could," he admitted with a nod, "but the flavors are different. Oz has a few spices and plants and things that I haven't found the equivalents to here."

He shrugged.

"I suppose I'm just being picky but it's still somewhat annoying."

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

"I imagine," Jen said, commiserating. "You can't go back?"

If that was the case, she could definitely sympathize.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Well, I could, but there are, from what I've seen anyway, quite a few people looking for me in a negative sort of sense and it wouldn't really be worth it until I've figured something out."

Once he had Princess Nastoya's eyes and ears, whatever contacts she had, he'd be a little more confident but for now, plans or no, he was one boy in all the City without family, funds, or title.

Well, titles anyone knew about.

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

Jen dropped her eyes to the floor and nodded, venturing in a nearly inaudible voice, "I know the feeling."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He peered up at her with a wince.

"I didn't mean to depress you. Though that makes, well, three of us, goodness."

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

"Don't worry about it." Jen still wasn't looking up at him. "It's an idea I'm used to by now. I'm okay with it. Really."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"There's nothing to be done for it?"

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

"Not really, no." Jen shrugged. "If I go back, they'll wipe my memory, and I won't remember anything about the past two and a half years. I refuse to let that happen."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

That got a full body shudder.

"Shit."

He didn't curse often, but when it came to mucking about with people's memories, Liir was all seriousness.

"Why?"

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

Jen did a double-take at his reaction; she certainly hadn't thought he was the type to be given over to much profanity.

"Standard procedure," she said, the edge in her own voice hinting at what exactly she thought of that. "We might be responsible for keeping people from messing with the timeline, but it also means we aren't supposed to be too much in the know about time periods that aren't our own."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"So the solution is to scour out parts of who you are?"

Memories were sacred. They were probably the only thing he really thought was.