fandomhighdorms | Third Floor Common Room - Tuesday after classes

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Third Floor Common Room - Tuesday after classes - 04/07

Makejoy was getting big enough that Liir was going to have to move the divider in her crate soon. For the moment, however, he was playing fetch with her on the floor of the common room, one hand absently tossing the ball to roll across the floor while he worked on a bit of writing. What he was writing was anyone's guess, but he'd certainly left a couple of toothmarks in the cap of his pen from it.

The puppy didn't particularly care; she was just happy to be out of her crate after the big mess last week. If that made her a bit more likely to go and greet new arrivals to the room, well, hopefully no one would mind.

[open like they are!]

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Amber stepped into the common room before she headed out to rehearsal.

"Hey," she said to Liir. "I figure if I search long enough, I'd eventually find you."

He dropped the book and smiled at her.

"You look... better. Much better.'

He breathed out.

"Good. You look good."

His head dropped.

"I suppose you're rather disappointed with me."

She shrugged. "I feel okay. I guess. And no. It wouldn't be fair of me to be disappointed with you, would it?"

"Do you remember... what happened?"

He didn't want to name it.

"Not the first night. Triela stuck a needle in my arm and gave me something to help me get through the night. It sucked you know? I came to wearing blood and guts and I guess maybe I was in shock. She helped me."

Yeah, his head wasn't lifting.

"I'm glad she did. I'm... sorry."

Makejoy toddled over to Amber and pawed at her foot.

Amber sat down on the floor, right where she had stood, and petted Makejoy.

"It's okay," she told Liir, though quite obviously it was not okay. You love someone, you at least check on them.

Same could be said for her, she supposed.

"So... sorry I wanted your brains."

"Sorry I'm a coward," he said with a scratch to his ear.

"Huh?" she mumbled, looking up and over at him.

"I shouldn't have run. And I should have checked on you."

"Oh. Don't worry about it," she said, looking back down at Makejoy. "Whatever, right? It's over and done with and I'm fine. Will be fine. Hannibal shooting me is somewhat haunting, Hurley chewing my fingers off too, but hey, Fandom crap, right? I'm totally fine. You must have had other things going on..."

"I didn't. I was nervous. And ashamed. A coward, in all senses," he said firmly. Like his mother, he wouldn't be consoled, especially when he knew, knew, that he was wrong.

"You deserve better. Even if I didn't... harm you while you were like that, I failed you after."

"Doesn't matter, Liir. It's done and over and while I would have loved it if you had been there for me, I did have Triela. I'm not laying blame and I don't want to argue."

But here he was in the common room instead of coming to find her, or at least calling to see where she was at... or anything at all to do with her.

Amber knew she had a place and it was somewhere below him. That knowledge hurt. There was just nothing she could do about it.

He looked up.

"Can you say you trust me to look after you if something like that happens again?"

"Of course," she said without hesitation. "I'm just not sure you would."

"...that's a 'no' then."

"Am I supposed to say something to make you feel better? 'Cause right now I think I might be too low to help you out there. You love me. I'm your girlfriend. You care about me. All statements, Liir, but are they true? I trust that they are. I trust you."

"No, you're not," he said as he finall put the book down, walked over and sat near her.

"I don't deserve it and it's certainly not your job. Especially not now. I just wanted clarification. It wasn't a plea for sympathy."

Makejoy didn't know what to do so she just tried to be professionally cute.

"They're true in intention. But that doesn't count much when you foul up as I did."

He looked up.

"I meant them when I said them. I mean them now. I even meant them Sunday, yesterday. But I was scared. That's all I can say."

She stared at him. "Were you scared during... after? What? Because you were up on that roof, fighting. I didn't see any fear there."

She shook her head and muttered, "Goddamn it, Liir. I needed you."

"I know. I'm sorry. I... I don't have anything else. I don't have any defense."

He swallowed.

"Seeing you like that wa-- No. No, I won't excuse myself at all."

Amber bit her lip, looking at him, and in the next moment she flung herself at him; arms going tight around his neck where she buried her face. "It was terrible," she whispered. "I just wanted you after, that's all... just after."

He took her, held her, and shame burned straight through him like a poker.

"Never again," he promised quietly, a full body ache starting as his muscles went tight.

"I promise I won't fail you again."

She wouldn't have worded it just like that but she was too into him just now to think about it. She pressed a kiss to his neck, not willing to let go of him just yet. It wasn't difficult to note the tension, however, because his body seemed to be coiled tightly. Thinking it was her, she started to pull away. "I'm sorry."

"No apologies necessary," he said carefully, not quite letting her go.

"I'm angry with myself."

Looking into his eyes, she reached to hold his cheek. "I love you, Liir." And she had to remember that he was wired just a little bit differently. What she might expect wasn't always what happened. That about him is what attracted her in the first place.

"Don't be angry, please. It's over. I'm fine. All can be right with the world again. Just, if you don't mind, I would really like to spend the night with you. And possibly tomorrow night as well. If I'm with you, I might not have bad dreams."

...he didn't understand.

He'd failed her. He'd been a coward, unable to face her after seeing her like that. Why did she want to be with him? Why did she still love him? Why could she even stand the sight of him?

He didn't get it. But if that's what she wanted, she would have it. He wanted it at least as much as she did, but he'd settled himself to being alone for a bit until she wasn't mad any longer. This, though...

"Of course. Of course, Amber. Wherever you want. I'll sleep in your room if you'd like, or we can go to mine or I could take out a hotel room if you think you'd be more comfortable in unfamiliar surroundings-- whatever you'd like, Amber."

Nameless Name, he didn't deserve her.

She shook her head. "I don't need any special treatment; I'm not asking for any. I'm just asking to be with you, near you." She searched his eyes, trying to read what was there. He wasn't just pacifying her, was he? No. She didn't think that he worked that way.

"Can evertything just be okay between us? No laying blame or hating ourselves." Graduation was around the corner - she'd be leaving during summer. She wanted things to be good. Better than good. Was that too much to ask? So she was hurt, she was getting over it and willing to try and understand why he didn't bother with her.

...no, she might not ever understand that, but she was willing to forget.

Love was different for everyone she supposed.

"Stay with me tonight. Tomorrow I'll stay with you."

A clean slate of sorts.

He nodded, and forced himself to relax so she didn't get upset.

"Yes. I will. And then you will."

Amber smiled, a cute little smile meant to encourage one from him.

"I've missed you and have a desperate need to make up for it. Which means I am going to bug you for the rest of the week."

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Third Floor Common Room - Tuesday after classes - 04/07

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