fandomhighdorms | The Deck, Saturday Late Afternoon

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The Deck, Saturday Late Afternoon

Last night had been distinctly odd, but how it ended had taken some of the edge off, at least. If Arthur didn't know better, he'd almost even be able to convince himself the day was going to be sort of all right. Or, at least, not completely insane.

Instead, he was going to take a seat on the deck with a bowl of fruit and some bread for a late breakfast. Uther Pendragon taught great lessons about paranoia.

He was just going to be pleased that at least he hadn't wound up sleeping in the preserve last night.

[[ open, especially to any blonde spawn that might want to assault him ]]

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"Morning, Arthur," Dinah said with really excessive cheerfulness, given her own personal heart attack now eating Arthur's food. "Look who I found at the God of Biscuits place. He needs a new sword, I think he should have one, that vertex thing really wasn't his fault."

Dinah may be practicing Denial by sharing the torment.

Arthur's eyes went from the child to Dinah and back again. "Keep your hands off my breakfast," he ordered.

Gawain chewed on his pear and shrugged. He wasn't touching it any more, after all. Technically, he was completely adhering to Dad's orders.

At which point Arthur looked straight back at Dinah. "What is this?" he demanded. It was possible he was not heading towards one of his straighter moments. "Have you decided to start assaulting me with small children now?"

Which would be the point where Dinah spluttered into hysterical laughter, shaking her head and pointing at Gawain, then Arthur, then doubling over with giggles again. Because this was already surreal, and then Arthur had to be so campy about it.

"Well, we've lost Mum," Gawain said in resignation. "Happens sometimes. Look, Dad, you're not focusing."

Gawain was totally, completely aware that his father had no idea what was going on. Sometimes Gawain was Mean, though.

"Sword, sword, sword. Priorities! Come on! How'm I supposed to fight evil if you just sit here eating fruit?"

"I think your 'mum' spends more time lost than found," said Arthur, who found that the easiest part of that series of events to respond to. "What evil? You're not fighting any evil, you're... what? Five years old?"

Arthur didn't know anything about kids. And this was insane. And-- He pointed a very deliberate finger. "Both of you. Shut up."

Edited 2009-04-11 16:28 (UTC)

"I'm eight! I've been training since I was six!" Gawain said, hugely insulted and having had just about enough of that. "And 'shut up' is rude. Besides it's better when you yell QUIET!" At the top of his lungs. "And then everyone hides." He sighed, and said patiently, "Mum will explain. When she's done horking up her insides."

He might be grinning evilly by now.

Dinah finally got her breath back, and sat down on one of the chairs. "So, okay. This is, um. A Fandom thing?" Deeeeeep breath. Grin at Gawain, because oh my god this kid ruled. "Where, if you go to Prom, the next day? You have kids." Gulp. And try to skate over this next part. "From the future. Or, maybe, possibly, what could be...."

Gawain continued to eat Arthur's pear with every evidence of enjoyment.

Arthur would be over here. He would also be staring. At both of them.

"What's the point of that?" he finally demanded, draining an entire country's supply of indignance in one line. "You're not telling me this is my child."

Oh, god, she better not be.

"Dad." Gawain gave him a Look, and said very slowly, "My name is Gawain Alfred James Lance-Pendragon, and you named me after a knight in Camelot, and we live in New Gotham, and you're not usually this slow." He gave his father a worried frown, then reached out to try and poke at the bandage on his arm. "Did you hit your head again?" And that might be real worry leaking into his voice there.

"No, I haven't-- hit my head," Arthur snapped back at him. "This is completely mad."

Pause.

"...and this is Fandom," he continued, rubbing his forehead. "Sweet mercy. If I find out the two of you are lying to me--"

He might kill them and then throw a party. Well, Dinah. The child was still... six or something.

Dinah held her hands up in protest. "Hey, I'm just as freaked out as you. Because this is... freaky." Yeah, there's just no other word for it. "I thought Mr. Rogers was joking when he told us about this, or I wanted him to be, anyway. But, uh. Gawain's not the only one." She sent her kid a hunted look. "Priestly showed up at my door with a little girl who's evidently, uh. Ours. So if anyone's being messed with, it's not just you."

"You have another kid?" Gawain demanded in outrage. "No! You're my mum, you don't get to do that!" He pointed at her, and demanded of Arthur, "Tell her she doesn't get to have any other kids! I don't want them!"

Someone was going to throw a little prince-fit if he wasn't stopped.

Oh, he was quickly rushing towards a beauty of a headache. "Silence," Arthur said, crabbily, "That kind of behaviour is not befitting of a--" What the hell was Gawain? "--Pendragon," he finished. "Sit down and eat your pear."

He badly wanted to rub his forehead, but didn't. "So you have been gathering offspring," he said, slowly.

"I haven't been gathering," Dinah protested. "Two isn't gathering! And they're all over the park, and we saw some in the halls, I think lots of people are getting little surprises this morning, it's definitely not just me." To Gawain, she said, "Look, you know your mom loves you best anyway, right?"

Gawain had sullenly sat down after Arthur's reprimand, and was finishing his pear, then nodded at Dinah. "Well, yes. I'm her only child. They keep threatening to have more, but Dad says no more until I don't break anything for a year." At that rate, he'd never have siblings. HA. He was a genius.

He gave Arthur a look of reproof. "I still need a sword. I was practicing." Then, finally deciding to go with manners, he said, "Please, sir? I don't want to slack. I'm getting so much better, you have no idea."

"At least your Dad's still sane," Arthur muttered, a bit sourly, "You'll have a practice sword as soon as you've gathered the skills to sit down and stay there without-- breaking anyone's mind in the process."

Listen. It was very possible.

Gawain stared at him. Waiting. Very obviously waiting. Folded his arms and sighed. Still waiting.

Then he got distracted and starting pretending he was a Viking with the bananas.

Dinah cracked up again.

When she could speak, she said, "Um. Look. I don't know how long he'll be here, but... if you want, I'll keep him with me?" There might be an element of skepticism there for Arthur's parenting skills. "I've babysat a lot. We'll have fun."

Plus, she kind of loved this kid.

Arthur rubbed his forehead. He really would like to say yes, but... "He's my child, too," he muttered, "As ridiculous as that sounds."

"Okay," Dinah said, still a little dubious, but smiling at Gawain, who was now talking on one of the bananas and ordering someone to get his Rolls detailed. "We'll, um. Trade off. Or something. I have to look after Lena, too, I don't want to leave Priestly in the lurch." She smiled a little, then said, "I'm pretending that he's just random weirdness so I don't think about the rest of it."

Because her, and Arthur, and no no no no no no.

"We'll trade off," Arthur agreed. He wasn't just-- going to leave the child out in the cold. But still. "I think that might be a wise strategy," he tried, "And we'll never speak of it if it ends."

"I'm not an it," Gawain objected, hanging up the banana. "And I can hear you." He gave Arthur an expectant look, then Dinah. "I still get a sword, right?"

"I wasn't talking about you," Arthur started, because he did have the idea that it would be very bad parenting indeed if he wound up referring to his-- son-- as it, "Just about the entire-- situation."

Oh, god, now he was trying to be fatherly. "You'll have a sword in due time, once everything's sorted."

As more kids started to show up and the situation became, well, louder, Dinah snagged Gawain's arm and said to Arthur, "Maybe we should catch up with you later? Like, leave him with you for dinner? I'm supposed to find Lena and Priestly then."

"Dinner," Arthur repeated. By dinner time, he might have actually processed all of this. "Dinner would be a good time," he finished, "I'll make sure everyone else's cleared out of the room by then."

Meaning Alice.

And, oh god, would there be Spawn of Leto in his room?

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