The Deck, Saturday Late Afternoon

[bitchprince]

Last night had been distinctly odd, but how it ended had taken some of the edge off, at least. If Arthur didn't know better, he'd almost even be able to convince himself the day was going to be sort of all right. Or, at least, not completely insane.

Instead, he was going to take a seat on the deck with a bowl of fruit and some bread for a late breakfast. Uther Pendragon taught great lessons about paranoia.

He was just going to be pleased that at least he hadn't wound up sleeping in the preserve last night.

[[ open, especially to any blonde spawn that might want to assault him ]]

Comments

[bitchprince]

"She's never met me," Arthur argued back with the child.

At which point he realised he was arguing with a six-year-old. (Okay, Arthur knew very little about kids and ages. Could you blame him?)

[tinyblondedeath.livejournal.com]

With the kids he seemed to have? Not really, no.

"Yeah, well, that's not gonna change after she does." Morgana perched herself on the edge of a nearby lounge chair and affected a knowledgeable air. "She said somethin' 'bout squirrels and rum having to do with it though."

[bitchprince]

It wasn't his fault he was exceptionally clever and his children matched that.

"Of course they did," he said. "We'll have to see about feeding you. And finding you somewhere to spend the night..."

He cast a look at Katina, clearly asking for some kind of assistance. Not that he needed it.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"Aw, geez, no," Katchoo yelped. "You've gotta be kidding me, right? I'm not babysitting material!"

[bitchprince]

"I have another one," Arthur pointed out, "Who's quite competitive." Actually, he had two other ones, but let's not mince words. "I'll be happy to take her again tomorrow, and provide any assistance you might need."

Including stabbing himself in the head to get away from all of this. His life was easier back when he was too irresponsible to have a conscience.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"I don't need your help," Katchoo grumbled, one hand going to her head in a futile attempt to stave off the oncoming headache. "Even if I had a kid, which I don't --" this, despite Morgana's growl and surprisingly formidable little glare -- "it wouldn't need a guy around, thanks."

[bitchprince]

"I'm not leaving her in the cold, either," Arthur retorted. Even if he'd probably share his father's inability to communicate with a child in any other way than levels of disappointment. Whatever. (Oh, god. He'd be horrible as a father. Wouldn't he?) "She does need a father."

Arthur wasn't sure why he was pushing this point. Arthur would rather she not exist at all. Arthur... had a duty complex the size of a small mountain range.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"Son of a bitch," Katchoo said, and if you knew her well enough that subtle shift of tone meant she was honestly surprised and caught just a touch off guard. As she was, having been prepared to launch into a new tirade about stupid machismo and stereotypical gender roles, in response to the 'it's your job to take care of her' answer she'd been expecting. "You really wouldn't, would you?"

[bitchprince]

Arthur grew up without a mother. That might've had something to do with it.

"I can take her up until dinner," he said, staunchly ignoring anything... you know. That might infer he had an emotional life. "And she can stay in my room the following afternoon and night. If she remains after that, we'll see to other arrangements."

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, sure," Katchoo agreed, still eyeing him dubiously. "I dunno if she oughta be in my room with my weird robot roommate's booze stash."

Which just brought to mind the uncomfortable realization that as far as maternal role models went she only had her own -- absolutely not -- and Francine's as reference. And no way in hell was she Marie Peters.

[bitchprince]

"There's plenty of empty rooms in the castle," Arthur offered. ... He had so little experience with any of this. "Or you could try hiding the 'stash'." Even if that might be a bit more dangerous.

[tinyblondedeath.livejournal.com]

"That never works, Dad," Morgana cut in with a roll of her eyes.

[bitchprince]

"You," Arthur said, fixing his eyes on the girl for that one, "Are not drinking anything."

Sense of responsibility? Yes. Macho sense of authority? Also yes.

[tinyblondedeath.livejournal.com]

"Why not? Mom never listens when you say it," Morgana said, pouting.

[bitchprince]

"Yes, well--"

Arthur was doing his level best not to skim the edge of camp here again, thank you. "--You're not your mother."

[tinyblondedeath.livejournal.com]

"That's what you always say." Morgana heaved a little sigh that suggested she couldn't decide if that was a bad thing or not. "And then she says, 'Morgana can damn well be whoever the hell she wants to.'"

[bitchprince]

"And she can say whatever she likes." At this point, strangling seemed like a nice option, but he shoved that idea out of the way. "But you won't be drinking any of her roommate's 'stash'."

Oh, god, was he actually saying this to a four-year-old?

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"And as much as I think I'm going to be drinking to forget this later on," Katchoo interrupted, "your dad -- oh god -- is actually right about that."

She glowered at Arthur. "Can I just die now?"

[bitchprince]

"No," said Arthur, soberly, idly, and nonchalantly. "Because you'll have to stab me in the juglar first, before you go."

He'd be more polite and Princely some other day.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"Can I do it anyway?" Katchoo asked hopefully, and that question could have come straight out of Morgana's mouth, with a matching expression.

[bitchprince]

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Absolutely not," he said.

Like he was going to be killed by a girl.

[tinyblondedeath.livejournal.com]

"Dad thinks you won't do it," Morgana told Katchoo helpfully. "And you haven't yet. Even if you keep saying you will."

[bitchprince]

See? Never getting killed by a girl. "If that's settled," he interrupted.

You know, before any actual armed conflicts could break out.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"I guess it is. Damn." Katchoo sighed. "Just for the record, this is never happening in a million years."

[bitchprince]

"Don't worry," he said, at pitch-perfect deadpan (with, admittedly, quite an edge of camp), "I wasn't making any plans."

Although at least she wasn't a girly girl. There was that.