fandomhighdorms | Behind the Dorms, Tuesday Afternoon

"Today," Arthur announced, looking fit and rested after his first night in a room that did not have an annoying desert noble in it. "We will be talking about the kind of inconveniences that Fandom likes to drop on us from the skies. Sure, poptarts or syrup may seem like a novelty, but when we're dealing with it in a combat situation it suddenly takes on an entirely new angle. Because of that, we are going to spend this week coming up with potential items of rain, and how to deal with them."

He was not going to allow any laughter in his reserves, and his expression made it clear that this was not funny. No, not even to you, newbies.

Zack was not going to giggle. He wasn't. He was going to plaster the most solemn look ever onto his face and he was going to nod. Solemnly.

"We saw the syrup on Friday," he noted, crossing his arms over his chest, because it was easier to pretend that he wasn't about to start giggling like an idiot if he looked at least remotely professional on the outside. "Which was inconvenient enough on Friday. Can you imagine what it would have been like, trying to slog through that mess with a bunch of vampires or griffons or malboros bearing down on top of you? It'd gum up your weapons, get in your eyes. We'd be dead meat." A pause. "And extra tasty."

That was helpful, Zack. Thank you.

... Zack, Arthur was trying to be serious. Please don't make him laugh.

Which he was making an effortless show of not doing, thank you. "Those of you who've been here long," he said, "Should share what you know about what rains from the sky. There are things we should be able to stock up on in case an invasion coincides with one of these things, such as glasses when the rain is-- glittery." Not. Laughing. "There are also ways we should be able to use these effects against our enemy. Had the harpies attacked during the syrup rain, it may have slowed their flight considerably, offering us new chances to attack."

"Or like the rain of condoms over in that other--" Zack clapped his hands over his mouth, wide-eyed and blushing. And then he fell into a fit of giggles the like the world had never before seen. There was a moment of that, and then he moved one hand away from his mouth, waving it vaguely in the direction of the other people around them. They could start any time now!

Helpfully, Arthur reached over to give Zack a thwap over the back of his head. "Get talking," he informed the crowd with a restrained smile.

[OCD ~~on the way!~~ up, and it helps if I note that fact, self.]

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That one actually came close. It also looked like opportunity - catch the blade against his, back into that gridlock of Zack's strength slowly beating out his own agility as he held the blade--

And kicked at his knee as soon as he was close enough.

Oh, okay, his sword being kind of stuck wasn't an issue. All Zack really had to do was put his back into it, wrench it upwa--

"Hey!"

He needed that knee!

No, really! He needed that knee! Because having it kicked while he had it pretty much locked in place to try to pry that sword free meant that it was now a very unhappy knee, and Zack was twisting and trying to shift his weight onto his other leg so that he didn't drop like a ton of bricks.

Okay. Okay, he was in one place. That was fine. He just couldn't... Um. Walk. He'd down a potion for this in a minute. They weren't done yet, right?

Owww.

Arthur smiled at him. It'd be brilliant like the sun if it wasn't utterly evil.

It'd be evil but brilliant, in fact, if it wasn't that he took the instant after that smile to snap his elbow hard up at Zack's face again. He was fairly sure he hadn't done any permanent damage, and that's what mattered.

Oh, hey, there was that telltale sound that was telling Zack that his nose was going to start bleeding quite profusely very, very shortly.

And there was Zack, not able to do much about this fact except fall to the ground with a 'whump.'

And then there was Zack, trying to get up again, because he was either an idiot or a masochist, or both.

And then there was Arthur, firmly putting his boot down on Zack before he managed to get up, or at least making a spirited attempt to get there first.

And now there was Zack, faceplanted on the lawn, with a hand to his nose and a grimace on his lips.

"Oof."

That about summed that up nicely, didn't it?

"Yes," Arthur said, leaning over him, "'Oof'. 'Oof' is a good noise. 'Sigh' is a good noise. Giggling like a little girl, on the other hand, is ridiculous."

... What? Zack was there, there was a point to be made, it was ~~easy~~ sensible.

Zack blinked up at Arthur at that, hand cupping his nose as though he was trying to make some valiant effort to keep from staining the grass.

"You mean, you beat me to the ground because I laughed?"

... Gods help him, he was giggling again.

And this was Arthur's boot, giving him a nudge to remind him he could probably do something bad to Zack's airflow if he felt like it.

"Some level of decorum has to be maintained," he shot down at him, "But that makes me sound like a sadist."

Which he wasn't. At all.

Oh, no, not in the least!

Zack was beyond the point of giggles, now. Zack was smiling in that way that totally suggested that he was well and truly incapable of talking without howling. And so he nodded the most unceremonious nod ever and then clamped his other hand over his mouth.

And now he wasn't able to breathe. So there was squirming.

... Zack possibly failed miserably at decorum.

Arthur's eyes rolled towards the sky. He applied some more pressure to his foot, then finally leaned down and gave Zack the massive back-of-his-head whacking that he'd earned. "If we were in Camelot, I'd have you in the stocks by now," he informed the boy, leaning back just slightly.

Oof. Blink. Owwww.

On the upside, rubbing the back of his head meant that Zack was able to breathe again! And he wanted to laugh significantly less!

"In the stocks for laughing," Zack repeated, a little less giggly and a little more incredulously, as he inspected the blood on his hand. "Laughing at myself, mostly. I didn't know that was a crime, man."

"We are running a military reserve," Arthur said, stepping back entirely. "Do you think any of these people will take you seriously or follow you into battle when you cannot even take your duty to them seriously?"

Yes, even when it was about condoms raining from the sky.

... Arthur had a fair point, there.

"When you put it that way, I guess not..." Zack shifted his weight about, rolling over and sitting up in spite of the pain in his knee. He then tilted his head, looking a little more thoughtful about the whole thing. "Does this mean I'm not allowed to bring cookies anymore?"

The cookies had been a draw! People showed up for cookies!

Arthur rolled his eyes again. "If you don't advertise them quite so uproarishly," he said, kindly. Yes. "Can you stand up?"

If he was just bruised up, Zack could take care of himself. A potential limp was another issue entirely.

Yay! The cookies were not lost forever!

Arthur was now Zack's best friend all over again. Yes, even after beating his face in. It was a thing.

"Not really, but that's not a problem," Zack replied, shrugging. "I've got my--"

... Magical and very sparkly healing spells and potions. Which you probably don't want to know about! Right!

"... Thingies. On me."

Well spoken, Zack.

Oh, for the love of-- "Then get your thingies," Arthur said, looking studiously down on him (literally), "Or I'm carrying you to the clinic, all right?"

Edited 2009-09-08 18:14 (UTC)

Zack grinned up at Arthur, kind of sheepishly, before he went digging through his pocket to pull out a potion.

He figured that it would be less brain-breaky to actually go through the motions and drink something than it would be to hold up his hand, sparkle like a fairy, and then be all healed up.

Call it a hunch, as he unscrewed the cap and downed the whole thing. Nosebleed? Gone! Knee? All better! Zack? Wiping off his mouth with the back of his arm and then pulling himself to his feet.

"Thanks, Arthur."

Arthur's eyes widened for a slight moment. Not that he hadn't seen-- to some degree-- the abilities of such a potion before.

He was just going to avert his eyes this way, towards the important task of observing the rest of the reserve. Just watch it next time," he said, and began to pace back that away.

Behind the Dorms, Tuesday Afternoon

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