fandomhighdorms | Behind the Dorms, Tuesday Afternoon

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Behind the Dorms, Tuesday Afternoon

"Today," Arthur announced, looking fit and rested after his first night in a room that did not have an annoying desert noble in it. "We will be talking about the kind of inconveniences that Fandom likes to drop on us from the skies. Sure, poptarts or syrup may seem like a novelty, but when we're dealing with it in a combat situation it suddenly takes on an entirely new angle. Because of that, we are going to spend this week coming up with potential items of rain, and how to deal with them."

He was not going to allow any laughter in his reserves, and his expression made it clear that this was not funny. No, not even to you, newbies.

Zack was not going to giggle. He wasn't. He was going to plaster the most solemn look ever onto his face and he was going to nod. Solemnly.

"We saw the syrup on Friday," he noted, crossing his arms over his chest, because it was easier to pretend that he wasn't about to start giggling like an idiot if he looked at least remotely professional on the outside. "Which was inconvenient enough on Friday. Can you imagine what it would have been like, trying to slog through that mess with a bunch of vampires or griffons or malboros bearing down on top of you? It'd gum up your weapons, get in your eyes. We'd be dead meat." A pause. "And extra tasty."

That was helpful, Zack. Thank you.

... Zack, Arthur was trying to be serious. Please don't make him laugh.

Which he was making an effortless show of not doing, thank you. "Those of you who've been here long," he said, "Should share what you know about what rains from the sky. There are things we should be able to stock up on in case an invasion coincides with one of these things, such as glasses when the rain is-- glittery." Not. Laughing. "There are also ways we should be able to use these effects against our enemy. Had the harpies attacked during the syrup rain, it may have slowed their flight considerably, offering us new chances to attack."

"Or like the rain of condoms over in that other--" Zack clapped his hands over his mouth, wide-eyed and blushing. And then he fell into a fit of giggles the like the world had never before seen. There was a moment of that, and then he moved one hand away from his mouth, waving it vaguely in the direction of the other people around them. They could start any time now!

Helpfully, Arthur reached over to give Zack a thwap over the back of his head. "Get talking," he informed the crowd with a restrained smile.

[OCD ~~on the way!~~ up, and it helps if I note that fact, self.]

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"My friend who can use the Power and bloody toss us all around like bloody kindling," Mat said, shuddering.

"That sounds, uh... Useful." Actually, it really did. If the friend was on the same side as them. Which, Zack was guessing by the shudder, he probably wasn't. "The people around here who can pick up really, really big things? They're on our side. Promise."

"Rand is for the moment too," Mat said. "At least if he hasn't gone insane in the week since I've been here."

That 'for the moment' thing was kind of worrisome, but Zack nodded a little regardless.

"Well, I hope that he's doing okay over there without you, then."

For the sake of... anyone who was close enough to get picked up and thrown, really.

Mat shrugged and smiled. "Well, it's his girlfriend's fault I'm here to begin with, so if he's not, it's his own fault for sending me after her."

"Oooh, so you know someone else that's here?" Don't mind Zack. He was a bit obsessed over interpersonal relationships and the like. "That doesn't sound half bad, then!"

Mat thought back on what he'd just said and shook his head. "No! Sorry. I was leading Rand's bloody army so it would look like the largest hammer in the world was aimed straight at this bloody--" Forsaken. Hard to explain about thirteen of the most powerful Aes Sedai of the Age of Legends who'd pledged their lives to the Dark One in exchange for immortality without it getting really messy, "--usurper to the throne in a nearby nation when Elayne's mother went off and got killed. Or died. There are a million bloody rumors and no one knows for sure what's right. But either way, Rand wants her back in her own bloody country to take over, so he sent me haring off after her like I'm a bloody errand boy or something. But the Elayne the bloody Daughter-Heir thinks she has better things to do than run her bloody country, so she went off somewhere else looking for some bloody thing that can change the weather and I'm here because she's bad at Traveling."

Mat, that will not make any sense to anyone.

That... Almost made sense! If you squinted and tilted your head sideways at it and then fuzzed it up a little around the edges, much like Zack was attempting to do now.

"So you're here because the heir to the throne took off somewhere, and you have to find her, but got lost on the way?"

"Exactly!" Mat replied, nodding. "And if go home and tell Rand I bloody lost her, it's going to get ugly. So I'll just stay here."

Zack wasn't going to laugh, really. He was going to just grin lopsidedly and nod and bite back the laugh as best as he could.

"Seems like there are a few people here who are running from something," he noted. "So you've found a safe place to settle down, at least. I hope it's treating you well so far."

"I got to fire a gun today in class!" Mat said gleefully.

He'd been really terrible at it.

"Oh, cool!" Aaand now Zack was bouncing. It was not difficult to make Zack bounce.

Ladies and gentlemen, one of your esteemed Reserve leaders.

"I'm so bad with guns, myself. I like to stick to my swords and stuff. But they look like so much fun!"

"It was my first try," Mat admitted. "At home I work with a quarterstaff or knives."

"Do you have guns at all where you're from? I think there's a club here just for using them, but it didn't run in the summertime." And, again, Zack was terrible at firing guns. So he wasn't going to be checking it out any time soon.

Mat shook his head. "We have bloody fireworks. And crossbows."

"There's nothing the matter with that!" Said the kid who was bound and determined to make everyone in the universe feel like they were awesome, without question.

He tried very, very hard.

"I think a crossbow would be pretty neat to work with, too. Though I guess it wouldn't have the same bang to it that fireworks or a gun would have."

"If you jam enough fireworks into an arrowslit, they blow a nice hole into the wall," Mat informed him with a grin.

Oh, Zack was so making his 'ooooooooo' face, now.

"You've tried that before?"

He wanted to see!

Mat nodded his head. "Trying to break some friends of me out of a prison," he said. "Not that they bloody thanked me for it. Looked at me like I'd been caught stealing a pie, burn them."

"Wow, they weren't even happy to be out of prison?"

Zack... kind of couldn't fathom breaking anyone out of prison. But hey, Mat here seemed like a good enough guy, so he was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, here.

Because he'd known Mat for all of three minutes, and so he was joining the three million other people on Zack's 'best friends forever' list.

"Oh, if you ask them, they had it all in bloody hand," Mat replied, rolling his eyes. "Women."

"Ooooooh." Okay, at that, Zack was going to totally offer up a knowing nod. "Okay, that, I understand. Girls make no sense, do they?"

They were a mystery to him!

"I have no luck at all with them," said Mat who had kissed three of them since arriving two weeks ago.

"Me neither," said Zack, who got random hugs from random girls all the time, but seemed to consistently fail at more than UST. He was kind of made for the UST, it seemed. "It's like they're speaking a whole different language!"

[Sleep for me! Sp?]

"And get upset for no bloody reason," Mat added, making a face.

[OOC: SP=teh win!]

Behind the Dorms, Tuesday Afternoon

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