fandomhighdorms | Behind the Dorms, Tuesday Afternoon

"Today," Arthur announced, looking fit and rested after his first night in a room that did not have an annoying desert noble in it. "We will be talking about the kind of inconveniences that Fandom likes to drop on us from the skies. Sure, poptarts or syrup may seem like a novelty, but when we're dealing with it in a combat situation it suddenly takes on an entirely new angle. Because of that, we are going to spend this week coming up with potential items of rain, and how to deal with them."

He was not going to allow any laughter in his reserves, and his expression made it clear that this was not funny. No, not even to you, newbies.

Zack was not going to giggle. He wasn't. He was going to plaster the most solemn look ever onto his face and he was going to nod. Solemnly.

"We saw the syrup on Friday," he noted, crossing his arms over his chest, because it was easier to pretend that he wasn't about to start giggling like an idiot if he looked at least remotely professional on the outside. "Which was inconvenient enough on Friday. Can you imagine what it would have been like, trying to slog through that mess with a bunch of vampires or griffons or malboros bearing down on top of you? It'd gum up your weapons, get in your eyes. We'd be dead meat." A pause. "And extra tasty."

That was helpful, Zack. Thank you.

... Zack, Arthur was trying to be serious. Please don't make him laugh.

Which he was making an effortless show of not doing, thank you. "Those of you who've been here long," he said, "Should share what you know about what rains from the sky. There are things we should be able to stock up on in case an invasion coincides with one of these things, such as glasses when the rain is-- glittery." Not. Laughing. "There are also ways we should be able to use these effects against our enemy. Had the harpies attacked during the syrup rain, it may have slowed their flight considerably, offering us new chances to attack."

"Or like the rain of condoms over in that other--" Zack clapped his hands over his mouth, wide-eyed and blushing. And then he fell into a fit of giggles the like the world had never before seen. There was a moment of that, and then he moved one hand away from his mouth, waving it vaguely in the direction of the other people around them. They could start any time now!

Helpfully, Arthur reached over to give Zack a thwap over the back of his head. "Get talking," he informed the crowd with a restrained smile.

[OCD ~~on the way!~~ up, and it helps if I note that fact, self.]

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"...stone would not be cool," she decided, wrinkling her nose. "And poison and stuff is dealable 'less you're already weakened."

"Thats it, exactly," Zack agreed, nodding. "The death sentence is pretty harsh, too, come to think of it..."

That one was the worst. From just fine to, well, dead. Just like that.

"Death sentence?" Ino raised her eyebrows at him.

"Oh, yeah." Zack shrugged. Totally the most normal thing ever! "Some monsters will cast this spell where, if you don't kill them in time, you'll just drop dead. There on the spot. There are some that are even more mean, with no countdown. Those are the ones I'll probably end up having to face off with, once I start getting handed the really dangerous jobs."

Ino gave him a long look.

"I don't suppose you got a magic accessory that'll stop that one from happening, yeah?"

"Oh, sure!" They had an accessory for everything. "That's what Safety Bits are for."

Yes. They were called Safety Bits.

Gaia was weird.

...

"...nice name," she said, struggling to keep a straight face. "Are those expensive, or what? 'Cause I'm thinking you'd better have one for missions like that."

"They're not that hard to afford if you've been doing regular missions. You gather up plenty of Gil killing monsters, after all." Zack shrugged. "I don't know where the store is that you can buy them from, though. I'll have to scout around before I get that far, I guess."

"You seriously mean they're not standard stock for your job?"

Incredulous, oh my yes.

"Standard stock?"

There was Zack, giving a kind of a blank look, yeah.

"There... kinda isn't standard stock for the job. I get the uniform and the sword from them, and they supply me with a Fire, a Blizzard, and a Cure Materia, and then away I go. ShinRa's kind of cheap."

"But that's stupid," she said, aghast. "Against enemies that can instant kill you!"

"Yeah, but somebody's got to do it, right?"

Zack was... still not seeing the issue, here.

"Well, yeah," because that was just dumb of him to think was an issue, "but, like, isn't it cheaper to buy Safety Bits for people than have to replace their lives?"

"Well, there is that lady in the lobby, lately, letting SOLDIERs chug back on those complimentary potions..."

Zack shrugged.

"Kind of like a phoenix down and a potion all wrapped into one! Those would be neat to be able to take onto the field..."

Zack, she didn't know what you were talking about. Stop that.

Ino blinked at him.

For a long moment.

"...care to explain any of that?" she asked sweetly.

Zack blinked back. The moment was a little shorter, however, before he smacked himself in the forehead.

"Right! Duh. Phoenix downs will bring you back from the dead, if you're... not dead too long. Or not too dead. Or..." He had no idea. Really. "Okay, they'll usually bring you back from the dead. If you get to them right away. These potions that they're letting us drink will do that, too! So the trick is to only die once if you don't have a Safety Bit while you're fighting those things!"

Because that would work sooooooo well.

"So, there's something that'll bring you back if you're already dead?" Ino checked. "And then a potion that'll give you the ability to come back alive once automatically?"

...well. That sure beat her wussy potions by a long-shot.

Zack nodded again, all smiles.

"There is! But they're not for sale or anything. They're just sampling them off to employees in the lobby of the ShinRa building.

"So you can't stock up on them, really, right?" That got a sigh. "At least you can get a new one whenever you need it from them? That's something at least."

...

"...even if the ability to die more than once is kinda seriously messed."

"Yeah, I can get a new one whenever I happen to be in Midgar. Just so long as I drink it while I'm there." Zack shrugged. "And I try not to get in the habit of getting myself beaten on that badly on the field. One of these days, I'll run out of phoenix downs or something, you know?"

He was not in any rush to get put down permanently.

"That'd be a real worrisome habit if you did get beaten up on the field constantly," Ino drawled.

Zack laughed and gave his head a shake. You had to give your head a shake at something like that! It was law!

"I get my butt kicked more by Arthur than I do by most monsters on the field." It helped that Zack wasn't actively trying to kill Arthur, of course. "And any resurrection spell is only good just the once. I can't keep a phoenix down for a second go. Once it's used up, it's used up and I need another. So getting totally thrashed in battle? Not a habit of mine."

She just shook her head and laughed.

"Keep it that way, then."

"Totally planning on it," Zack agreed, smirking.

Besides, just because it wasn't permanent didn't mean it stopped hurting when it happened.

Behind the Dorms, Tuesday Afternoon

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