fandomhighdorms | Roof [Saturday, Early Evening]

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Roof [Saturday, Early Evening]

For kind of a slow week, tonight could actually be quite interesting, if she decided to make it that way.

Halloween had never really been a big thing for her. That was England for you. Anyway, Effy was pretty much guaranteed to be dressed up in black as it was. What she was wearing? Not a costume in the slightest.

For now, she was leaning back against the edge of the roof, smoking and considering where to spend the best part of her night. Had to be something decent going on out there. Something that wasn't begging for candy like a five year-old. Maybe on the mainland... Well, she'd work on that in a minute.

[[Effy is (as usual) antisocial, but the roof is totally open!]]

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Alex narrowed his eyes incrementally and wondered how he didn't get more headaches when he hung around her and she was vague-ing it up like she was. And after the week he'd had, vagueness wasn't what he wanted to deal with even if he expected it with her.

"Yeah, you just say a lot," he said airily, turning his head away from her. He flicked the cigarette away after a lengthy silence and finally turned to face her again. "I don't know what I expected, really. An actual answer?"

He laughed and shook his head again, returning her little smile with one of his own. "Of course you won't answer that question. You're afraid of what you want."

"I'm not afraid of what I want." Hesitant to voice it? She'd give him. But afraid, implied a little too much of that vulnerability she hated to think was there, and tried to bury as best she could.

"Seem to remember telling you what I wanted last time I saw you."

"I think you are," he said, taking that momentary advantage he'd regained and pressing it by stepping back closer to her. "And last time? Last time I gave you an incentive. I asked you what you wanted, you just answered the question."

That made a difference to him. She'd told him, yeah, but he'd also asked and given her a reason to do so. Wasn't really the same in his book.

"If you're not afraid of what you want," he added, keeping his eyes on hers now, "then prove it."

"Prove it," Effy repeated, eyebrows inching the barest hint higher. "You're always wanting to know what I want. But that's a very broad statement," she noted and stubbed her cigarette out on the edge of the roof. "What I want out of life, tonight, you, what?"

"Wanna know if I've got a craving for donuts?"

"Yeah, I wanna know if you've got a craving for fucking donuts," he said, rolling his eyes and stepping away again. He shoved his hands into his pockets and contemplated just fucking off.

"I'll just fucking stop asking," he said after a moment, "since it's obviously such a brain twister for you. Go back to not giving a damn about what you want. Better?"

Edited 2009-11-03 13:44 (UTC)

Not really, no. But they'd got themselves into this cycle that she wasn't very good at breaking out of. She hated how it felt, and for some stupid reason always kept doing it anyway.

Effy just shook her head silently. Prime example of not really knowing what the hell she wanted, wasn't it?

Alex looked back at her but didn't say anything. It felt like he was always talking and it was one step ahead, two steps back when he did and that downturn always sucked.

"It's not better," he vocalized after standing in silence for a few moments, just looking at her. "Then what, Effy? What?"

That was the big question that just kept coming back, and there was a really simple answer that she just generally refused to admit to.

"I don't know," she muttered eventually.

Oh, was that an admission she didn't always know all? Yeah.

Alex pulled his hands out of his pockets and rubbed the back of his neck, working out the tension there. His shoulders slumped a little with fatigue and soreness and stress.

He turned to just start leaving, just get the hell away from the crushing stress that seemed to swirl around the two of them before he stopped and changed his mind.

Stalking away just didn't seem apt so, instead, he crossed back over to her without a word, stopped in front of her and drew a finger down her cheek. It just...seemed better than arguing some more.

"I don't know either," he said in the same quiet tone.

Edited 2009-11-04 01:25 (UTC)

Effy breathed a slight wry laugh and shook her head briefly as she looked down. Comforting was to know, in certain ways, it didn't stop her hating having to admit that. Helped knock down that tension a couple of notches, though. On her end, at least.

"We even supposed to?" Hoped not. Who actually knew exactly what they wanted all the time anyway?

"Probably not," he said and dropped his hand gradually. Alex didn't really know the answer to that either much as he wished he did. Despite the dissipation of some of the tension, Alex still felt a little weighed down and stepped back from her so he could slide down the wall and get off his feet.

"Guess I'm staying around the island tonight," he said idly, bending a knee and picking at some fabric on his jeans. "Not in the mood to go anywhere. Bring me back something nice."

Still assuming she was going and all. Free gifts would make him feel better.

"Fucking demanding, you are," she noted mildly, quirking a hint of a smile as she looked down at him. "Any requests?"

Alex shook his head and closed his eyes. "Use your best judgment. I don't care. Whatever you want and stuff."

Effy nodded, whether he was watching or not.

"You alright?" she asked, finally. Took her long enough, despite knowing there was something off with him today. More than just looking a little beat up, too.

Alex hadn't really expected that question and it caught him off guard enough that he laughed briefly, humorlessly.

"Not hiding it well? I'll work on that," he said absently. "I've had better...months."

Understatement.

Not an issue Effy was unfamiliar with. Shitty things seemed to come in waves, somehow. Her latest on seemed to have waned, at least for the moment.

"Want me to stay?" she had a feeling she wasn't really helping much tonight, but she could... probably avoid stressing him out any more for a while. Maybe.

Even so, the fact she made the offer was something.

It was something and it had him opening his eyes and looking up at her now. And now he had to think about how to answer without sounding pathetic.

"I'm really not going to be super entertaining tonight, Effy," he said quietly, shrugging the less sore shoulder slowly. "You might get bored."

It wasn't a yes but he hadn't said no either. Walking that fine line.

One of those really fucking subtle ways of saying 'yes, but I'd rather not admit that straight up'.

Or, that was what Effy was taking it as, anyway, and considered him a moment before she sat beside him. "Sure I'll live."

And maybe it wouldn't be that boring. Never could tell. "Besides, not so bad out here."

It was probably as close to saying yes as he'd get. Taking it as a yes was a smart move. He'd sooner eat glass than out and out admit something like that. Stubborn bastard.

He stretched his legs when she took a seat, settling himself comfortably beside her.

"I'll make it up to you if you do get bored. Pay a penance of your choice or something. Make you a grilled cheese," he said after a moment, turning to look up at the sky. "And no, it's not. One of the better Halloweens for me."

With all that had gone on between them, that was still true.

Effy's eyebrows twitched in a little amusement and she tipped her head back against the wall to follow where he was lookin.

"You make grilled cheese as well as Pop Tarts?" More talented than she even realised. "Wow."

"I had to fend for myself a lot," he replied, a lot more easily than he'd have answered a few months ago. "You learn a few things. It's hard to fuck up bread and cheese and butter. Got kind of good at them after awhile."

Of course, he hadn't made them in awhile so who knows if those skills still existed. He'd have to try. "I'm surprising, I know. Just makes me more attractive."

If you were Effy, yeah, it did, and her lips turned in a bit of a smile. She wasn't exactly shocked he could grill cheese on bread, but it was still the truth. Alex could just be unexpected in a few other ways.

"Can prove that to me later," she told him. "... Think anyone goes for Halloween fireworks?" Because that would brighten things up.

"Here?" He shrugged. "Not typically a part of Halloween unless you get a bunch of drunken revelers in one place and there's fireworks handy. Americans tend to use fireworks on the Fourth and dippy anniversary celebrations. Probably shit out of luck if you want those tonight."

Though, he couldn't argue with fireworks making the night a little brighter.

"But, here, I've got this."

He dug his phone out of his pocket and fiddled with it for a few moments before getting the light on and waving it in the air. "Just as good, right?"

Yeah, he knew it wasn't but he was trying!

Effy breathed a laugh. "Yeah, feel like I'm at a rave."

Or not. But the trying was appreciated.

"Few days before fireworks night, we got them going off just because they were there." When things were cheap and available, people tended to use them.

He snickered at that obvious lie and dropped his phone next to him, letting it turn off on its own.

"They're a little more restricted here," he said, slouching down against the wall and letting go of a long breath. "You can't get them that easily for the most part. We just find other ways to entertain ourselves."

Some entertainment worked better than others.

Roof [Saturday, Early Evening]

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