Earwig Campfire | Way Late Thursday Night

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

After an afternoon, evening, and night of--if you can imagine it, it happened--debauchery, Barney and Robin were trying to stumble home. Where home was their respective cabins in the preserve and stumbling was a very alcohol-induced manner of falling from tree to tree.

"I am A LOCUST," Barney drunkenly announced to no one at all as he fell into the thankfully cold Earwig firepit and started loosening his tie. He looked over to Robin and blinked. "I think we're here, Pauly D." Her hair had been begging for that name ever since the stripper tucked his g-string over her head.

It was Robin's last night of...anything interesting. He'd showed her a good time.

[Open, so so open.]

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[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"I'mma earwig," Robin remarked, slurring quite solemnly. "Bennon's a locust like you. The stupid cabins are so...stupid."

Truer words were never spoken, really.

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Your face is stupid!" Barney retorted, knowing that was a reply to...something. Anyhow it worked and he liked it. And the face he made to go along with it.

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"Hey!" Robin frowned, looking as indignant as one could with underwear on their head. "My face isn't stupid. I'mma bride. You hafta be nice to me. S'the rules."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Pfft!" Barney scoffed, spitting just a little. "Please! You're so the dude."

Yes, Barney was going to expect the Mountie in a dress on Saturday. There might be wagers on it.

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"But I have boobs," Robin pointed out.

Such excellent logic.

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Getcher head outta your ass, Scherbatsky!"

Oh, that took too much energy and Barney closed his eyes for a moment.

"Boobs are Awesome."

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"I knooooow," she sighed. "Mine are really good. S'why I gotta wear a dress Saturday. 'Cause they should be dis --pisdlay --showed off."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Not like the knockers on that stripper..." Barney might be lost again in the memory of giant boobs in his face.

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"Faaaaaake," Robin denounced, shaking her head so hard that the g-string shifted from side to side on her hair. "I hope my husband doesn't mind me lookin' at strippers more. 'Cause this can't be my last stripclub visit. They'll miss me!"

No, Robin, probably not.

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney sat up like he'd been stung. "WOULD HE DENY THE STRIPPERS THEIR LIVELIHOOD!?"

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"Those girls," Robin slurred, "have to go to community college somehow. We'll keep providing for 'em. Don't worry."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Damn straight we will!" Barney nodded, flopping back again because hell if he was going to waste his energy by sitting. "Dude! You're not moving to CanEHdia, are you?"

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"Noooooo," she promised. "Noooo, we're staying here. Just gettin' marrieded there. In tents. They're awesome tents, though, pinkie swear."

She totally held out her pinkie for swearing, too.

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney hooked pinkies. "If your tents blow, you're gonna have to give me all your bridesmaids."

"Minus Lily. Marshall would beat my face in."

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"Then it's just my baby sister," she said, frowning. "You can't have her. She's a baby."

She was twenty.

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"...that sounds like a challenge, Pauly." A really good one.

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"Pedopile," Robin decided, leaning back against a log. That's not how that word was supposed to be said, but she didn't correct it. "If you leave Katie 'lone I'll help you get into Ted's sister's panties."