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Fourth Floor Common Room | Afternoon | Thursday | August 26

Hannibal had been putting this off for months now. Considering he had just forty eight hours left on the island, it seemed that his time of hedging and procrastinating had come to an end. When he made bets, he filled them even if it took him time.

So, he'd move some of the furniture aside and out of the way all while wearing a thick bathrobe. Yes, he was wearing spandex pants under that bathrobe and no, he wasn't going to show that off until he absolutely had to. Kate was just lucky he hadn't tried to find a loophole.

There was a boombox nearby, queued up with the most ridiculous song known to man. In a few minutes, he'd have to click play and actually dance.

He was going to dance. In spandex. To a girly song. He hated his life and yet, he'd keep making bets. Stupid bowling game.

[Oh god, this is so open. I'ma put up some OCD just for my benefit but this is SO open. Not Hannibal's last post in Fandom, btw!]

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"No," Zack sighed, managing to refrain from pouting. For the most part. "Actual makeup. But go me, I managed to grab waterproof stuff, and I have no idea how to get this off, now."

Try soap, Zack.

He wasn't going to note that he did shave. His legs. For the dress. That he was never, ever, ever going to wear in public. Ever.

"Cold cream, make-up remover, soap?" Peter rattled off. "I mean, while it really does bring out your eyes, I'm not sure if the blush is the right look for you."

"It's really, really, really not," Zack agreed, frowning thoughtfully. And then...

"Waaait. How do you know about all of that?"

When in doubt and stuck in guyliner, question somebody else's masculinity instead!

"I read a lot," Peter said, shrugging. "I can also tell you the scientific name for a cow, if you like."

And now, Peter, you've managed to catch Zack completely at a loss.

"You mean, they're not just called cows?"

The foundations of his entire little universe were now crumbling down around him.

"Bos taurus," Peter said. "And remember, cows are actually implies the female of the species."

Peter was completely in his element.

His element of sounding smarter than other people.

Zack wrinkled his nose a bit.

"You're totally making that up, aren't you?"

He had to be! Look! Bos taurus totally sounded more like some kind of dinosaur. The Bostaurosaurus Rex.

"Yes," Peter said, chuckling. "It's actually Cowicus milkia."

He was totally lying. But he wanted to see if Zack bought that.

Well, he didn't completely buy it, but it was a near thing.

"What, even the ones that we make hamburgers out of?"

Hamburgers on their own were a bit of a scientific anomaly. They didn't have any ham in them at all.

"Oh, no, those are Cowicus tasticus," Peter said. "Good catch, I almost forgot to mention those."

Yes, he was having fun at Zack's expense. Yes, this made him a jerk. No, he wasn't going to feel bad about it.

Zack needed to take this moment to work that statement through his brain.

"I guess that... kind of makes sense," he admitted after a moment, in the tone of a guy who didn't really think that it made any sense at all. "But why would the same animal need so many different names to start with? That just seems pretty dumb, to me."

"Hey, there's different names for different tools, even though they're all tools, right?" Peter said. "Screwdrivers and hammers are both tools, but used for different things. Same principle."

"Too confusing, if you use it on animals," Zack decided, frowning. "I mean, we have different kinds of chocobos back home, like river chocobos and mountain chocobos, but we don't have different names for them beyond that, too. What would the point be? Mountainy Chocobocus? 'Milk cow' and 'cow for eating' works just fine for me."

Peter shrugged. "Like I said, I just read it in a book. Not like I'm the guy who came up with it. I actually agree with you that the names are a little ridiculous."

And at that, Zack shot Peter an amused little grin.

"Especially cowicus tasticus," he noted. Yes, that was totally him calling Peter on his teasing.

"It seriously is Bos taurus," Peter said, smiling. "You know, in the long run, cowicus tasticus would be a totally better name. Except I think the vegans might get angry."

"Well, you're looking at a vegetarian that doesn't mind too much," Zack offered, laughing a little and shrugging. "Vegans would be upset over the milk one, too, I think."

It should be noted that Zack wasn't a vegetarian because of the 'Oh, those poor cute animals' angle, though. He just couldn't stomach too much meat after all the time Fandom spent, turning him into a psychotic vampire.

"Well, that's implying the milk isn't going to baby calves," Peter said. "And that's just selfish of them."

He was just joking around, but yeah, that wasn't funny.

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Fourth Floor Common Room | Afternoon | Thursday | August 26

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