Fourth Floor Common Room, Saturday Afternoon

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

Wesley was hiding in the common room.

It was, in all honesty, not the best hiding place, but that's where he was hiding. Mainly because he was afraid if he went to his room, his roommate might be entertaining visitors, and he was kind of afraid to know what her friends and family were like.

So. Common room. Hiding from his father and doing homework. Should go well.

Comments

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

"I'm - accustomed to vampires," he said vaguely.

Accustomed in that he'd been trained for seventeen years to help teenage girls kill them, hence his being on that patrol the other night. But still. He was used to them.

"In fact, I worked with one this past spring," he added, going for a politically-correct interpretation of events.

Suddenly self-conscious, he asked, "Why? How do most people act?"

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Generally that I'm plotting to suck their blood," Maladicta replied, proud that she managed to say the b word without a twitch. "I haven't done that in over two years now, you know."

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

He felt like he was supposed to give a compliment there, so he offered, "That's very impressive."

"Er - and you're able to survive that way?"

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Oh, yes. It's all a matter of self control." A beat. "And I have my coffee instead."

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

"I've always read that vampires deprived of blood for an extended period of time begin to go mad," he said thoughtfully. "I suppose it could be a myth, or a trait unique to vampires from my dimension..."

Thus a week-long research session is born.

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Where I'm from, as long as we have something else to focus on, it's possible."

Just god help you if you get between her and a pot of coffee.

"Can they turn into bats as well? Or mist? Or cross running water?"

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

Wes, being too British for coffee, was probably not going to be a threat in that department, no.

"There are some glamours that certain vampires assume that allow them to turn into different animals, yes," Wesley said, thinking of the accounts some of the Watchers back at the Academy had given about Dracula. "And mist as well. I'm not certain about the running water, however; I'd have to consult a book."

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Glamours?" Maladicta asked. "I thought only wizards and witches did those."

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah. But thousand-year-old been-around-the-block vamps like Drac tended to pick up a few of those tricks.

"For the most part, yes," he conceded. "Hoewver, some particularly old vampires - one well-known one in particular - have a tendency to acquaint themselves with those types of abilities. Mainly to show off, really."

Dude, it was ridiculous how much he'd missed giving informational lectures.

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"...I suppose it is a bit showy," Maladicta admitted. "But you're not really a vampire unless you have style."

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

"Non-sparkly style?" he confirmed, grinning.

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Non-sparkly style," she confirmed with a nod. "Are you a wizard then? You seem the type."

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

Dignifiedly containing a snicker, Wesley replied, "Oh - no, no, not a wizard. I am what's known as a Watcher, or someone who assists Slayers, supernatural warriors, in the fight against the forces of evil."

That was the speech that he'd had drilled into him, anyway. Personally he thought it was a little cheesy, especially now that it wasn't exactly true anymore. Abashed, he summarized, "Mainly I research things."

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

If only he'd mentioned something about horrible dimensions of tentacular evil, she'd still assume he was a wizard.

"Ah, heroes. We have those back home as well," Maladicta replied brightly. "They tend to be much more interesting than the usual angry mob."

Seriously. The Disc was a special place.

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

Wesley was not all that familiar with angry mobs, thanks for asking. Which was probably a good thing, as any angry mobs that would have congregated back at the Council would probably have been objecting to his actions as Watcher and that would have been a traumatizing thing. Really.

"Do you... have a lot of angry mobs?" he asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Oh, they happen whenever someone pushes too far. It's to even things out, after all. Like how the castles always have large windows despite the odds of the curtains being drawn at just the right moment during the day to kill a vampire."

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

Wh... what?

Wesley was just going to pretend to understand that. He just nodded in the glazed-eyes way of someone who is listening to a lecture that has stopped making sense.

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"My grandfather used to keep a barrel of stakes in the dining room to give them a sporting chance," she added. "But those were more barbaric times."

And this is why Buffy vampires and Discworld vampires weren't allowed to meet.

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

Yes, clearly.

Wesley briefly entertained himself with the visual of Buffy grabbing a stake from a barrel and going after a vampire, only to have it reconstitute himself as soon as she bled on it. The look on her face would be pretty priceless. It was a shame, really, that Faith hadn't been on that patrol the other night. She would've reacted almost as comically.

"I... see," he said, bewildered.

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

She reached over to give him a reassuring pat on the arm. "Coffee?"

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, no. He was way too British. Sorry, Maladicta.

"No, thank you," he said, both because he preferred tea and because of what she'd said before about "focusing" on a substitute for her addiction. Might be a good idea not to let her have it for herself.

"So, do you have visitors this weekend?" he asked.

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Not that I'm aware of," Maladicta replied, getting up to start a fresh pot all for herself. "Thankfully. You?"

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

"Yes, my father is visiting," he said. And how weird was it that he'd managed to hide out this long without Roger finding him? Then, in response to her "thankfully," he added, "Unfortunately."

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

She shot him a look at that last part, humming thoughtfully. "You're not close then?"

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

"Not in the strictest sense, no," he answered. God, you could say that again.