fandomhighdorms | The Gym, Friday Afternoon

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@gym,
jason todd

The Gym, Friday Afternoon

Overall, Jason was having a pretty good day. He was done with classes, and with student council meetings, and since he'd gotten his cast off earlier in the week, he could finally start training again to strengthen his arm back up. At the moment, he was going through different weights, trying to see how much he could lift. Bruce had told him to take it slow, but when had slow ever been his style?

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"She was," Nico agreed. "But you say that like there's some reason you shouldn't talk about your parents."

"My parents...weren't exactly stellar role models," Jason admitted, wondering if Nico was going to think less of him for this. "Not like your sister."

The look on Jason's face made Nico wonder if he'd only presented the good parts of his family. Which...given his family was kind of an odd thing to think about. "My sister ditched me to join up with a bunch of girls, I think I can take it, Jay."

Jason looked at Nico, like he was seeing how sincere he was about that statement. "My dad ditched me and my mom too, but it was 'cause he was an asshole who couldn't handle my mom being sick. He ended up joining up with criminals, and when he screwed up a heist, he got killed," he said. "I always thought he just ran off, but it ended up being worse."

Jason's short tale was far worse than Nico's, but Nico didn't flinch that he'd sort of made Jason share it.

"That sucks," he said finally. "Did your mom know?"

Jason shook his head. "No. I only found out a few months ago myself. We both thought he just took off, and maybe he was in jail or something. And my mom...she was amazing and she tried really hard to be a good mom, but, um, she wasn't sick sick." Maybe Nico would put it together for himself, and Jason wouldn't have to say it out loud.

Before, he'd kind of assumed Jason's mom had been sick with cancer or something. Now Nico's mind went to drugs and sex. He'd seen a few unfortunate things when he was on his own.

Not that it mattered, a dead mom was a dead mom. He put down the weights and moved up behind Jason, going for a one-armed hug. "I'm really sorry."

Jason tried not to sink into the hug, not wanting Nico to think he needed that just because his childhood had been crappy. "You don't have to be sorry. People are just liars most of the time. My mom said she'd quit shooting up, and she didn't. My dad said he'd take care of us, and he didn't. That's how people just are."

Try not to drown in the bitter, Nico.

Nico being a huge liar, he couldn't actually refute that statement. But he could rest his chin on Jason's shoulder and pull him closer. "They still loved you, so it still sucks they're gone."

"If they loved me, they wouldn't have left. They wouldn't have done stuff to get them killed," Jason said. The sad part was, he actually did kind of believe that, and wasn't just saying it to be spiteful.

It scared Nico that Jason believed it, if only because he knew what their lives were like and what that could imply. "You say that like you don't do stuff that could get you killed."

Jason realized how that had sounded, and shook his head. "I do good stuff though. And it's not that dangerous, not with the big guy at my side," he said. "It's not like my parents were heroes. It's different."

"It's not," Nico said, shaking his head and letting go of Jason. By Jason's logic, if Bianca had loved him more, she wouldn't have run off with the Hunters and died, which was kind of where his selfish brain was stuck.

Jason probably would have agreed with that logic right now, although maybe in a way that wouldn't make Nico feel bad about himself. As much as he'd been resisting the hug, Jason still frowned a little when Nico let go of him. "I'm sorry?" he said uncertainly, not sure what he'd said wrong.

"No you're not," he said with a shake of his head, not believing he was having this conversation. "Tell me something, Jay. If I went home to do something...less than good and ended up dying because of it, would you say I didn't love you enough to live?"

"That's totally different," Jason said, and not just because he couldn't imagine Nico doing things that were genuinely criminal. "You're not my dad. You don't have anyone to take care of but yourself, so you don't have the same kinds of responsibilities to think about. If you died doing something bad, I'd be pissed 'cause you're not that kind of person, but I wouldn't say it was because you didn't...care about me or anyone else enough." Probably.

"No, I'm not your dad or anyone else's but it's not like he meant to die. Just like you wouldn't mean to die or I wouldn't mean to die. When it's your time, it gonna happen, no matter what you do to avoid it."

Well, unless Nico had a say in the situation. Um.

"He still could have not been a criminal when he died," Jason said, hesitating for a moment. "Couldn't he?"

Nico sighed, getting that Jason was a hero who didn't want his parents to be criminals. "You're the only person I know who got to pick his family," he realized. "So yeah, I guess he could have."

"I didn't get to--I mean, I didn't ask Bruce to take me in, if that's what you mean. He just did," Jason said. "Do you think it's wrong that I miss my mom? After what she did?"

"No!" Nico reached to grab Jason's shoulders. "She's your mom, that's more important than anything else, right?"

Jason nodded, grateful for how emphatic Nico's answer was. "She really tried to be a good mom. She did take care of me, when she could." Now for the harder question. "Do you think any less of me now, knowing what my parents were like?"

"What?" Nico didn't think he heard Jason right. "Jay, do you remember who my father is?"

"A god?" Jason said, even though he knew what Nico meant. "Who's kind of mean?"

"Right, the god of death who really doesn't give a fuck about me, but I still happen to love because he's my father. Do you think I can judge anyone?" Ignore that he totally did.

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