3rd Floor Common Room, Saturday Morning

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Tony Stark was a hungry man. A man who woke up with a hunger in him that only sweet, sweet processed food could fill. And, because Marvel in the 70s had little to no attempts to portray anything realistically, this meant he was just going to eat all the time. All the time.

Look, it was a special time then. The bodyguard story still flew and... where was I?

Ah, right. Tony was busy attempting to eat just about everything in the common room. And no, he wasn't offering to share or make pancakes. BECAUSE HE WAS HUNGRY, OKAY?

"I'm so hungry!"

[So, so open. And worst AU ever.]

Comments

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

So Anna wasn't exactly sure where she was, but it was cool. The clothes in the closet were a little ritzy but they fit her, and she found the one decent CD in the collection to start her day with some Death Cab.

She was just going to make herself some coffee, but she had to admire what the fat guy was doing.

"You are one seriously dedicated eater," she observed sunnily.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

HE WASN'T FAT. HE WAS PORTLY. SO SHUT UP.

"I need to eat," Tony replied. Because everything was over dramatic in the 70s.

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

"Everybody needs to eat, right?" Anna observed, lifting herself up onto a counter for a better view. "But it's cool. I was just, y'know, making a comment."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Don't make him cry, Anna. It's not a pretty thing to see a fat super hero industrialist who fought communism cry.

"But I need to," Tony replied. "It's the only thing that brings me joy."

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

Princess Ariel was certainly confused by her surroundings; many things seemed familiar, especially considering the sheer amount of random items in the room where she'd woken up, but once she ventured outside to explore, she realized she was perfectly astounded by how...in tact everything had seemed. If she wasn't crazy, she'd almost believe that this was what the world was like thousands of years ago...

She had to see what was going on, and hopefully find Thundarr or Ookla...no doubt Thundarr was about to get himself into trouble! So she looked curiously into the room and saw other people there.

She found herself quite shocked by the display of gluttony, too. "Greetings," she said, tredding carefully. "Perhaps you can help me."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

But she wasn't even a red head! He only liked red heads!

"Can I?" Tony asked, pausing in his consumption of a twinkie. DAMN YOU TWINKIE.

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

Why was Ariel feeling as though she should have brought a peace offering of food before approaching this clearly hedonistic man?

"Do you know," she said, carefully, "where we are?"

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"America, I assume." This great land of America. Where they weren't communists.

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

"I can try," Anna volunteered. "At least, if you want the kind of help that tastes like coffee."

She had figured out the coffee maker. Knowing where she was could be next.

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

Narrowing her eyes as she searched her brain through the countless lore it held, Ariel frowned. "Coffee?"

It sounded...familiar, but she couldn't be certain. The morning left her discombobulated as it was, with an underlying dread that the longer she was away from Thundarr, the more stupid mistakes he'd make.

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

"If you say it that way," Anna decided as she turned to fill two mugs, "you probably need it. Black. Are you having the not-sure-where-I-am-thing too?"

[wheeler-360.livejournal.com]

"Whoa, whoa, buddy, who do you think you are, Hoggish Greedly? Save some for the rest of us!"

Not that Wheeler had any idea where he was, where the rest of the Planeteers were, or which eco-villain had kidnapped him and deposited him in... a boarding school dorm? Still, it was totally a good deed to stop this guy from wasting so much food. Didn't he know there were starving kids in Africa? AFRICA, TONY. Who could be eating the food!

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

THEY WERE IN AFRICA. THIS WAS AMERICA.

MAYBE.

"There's plenty more," Tony insisted, clinging to his beloved food. The only thing that filled that void within him.

[wheeler-360.livejournal.com]

Wheeler scoffed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, man. At least make sure you compost anything left over, right?" Sharing didn't seem to be in this guy's vocabulary. "Got any idea where we are?"

Hey, maybe this was some plot of Greedly's, and this guy was his... prison guard or something. ... ... Weird prison.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"America?" Tony ventured. And he decided he was dealing with a hippie. Damn hippies. He was a billionaire industrialist here! He didn't have time for them! "I'm sure someone will compost it for me."

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

"I think I saw Hoggish Greedly at the Bait Shack back when I lived in Newport," Anna said thoughtfully. "They were way better with the old bassist."

Sadly enough, she was serious.

[wheeler-360.livejournal.com]

"... Hoggish Greedly is playing in a band?" Wheeler asked, completely nonplussed. "... ... What?"

Yeah, that was going to take him a moment.

"We are talking about the same Hoggish Greedly, right, lady? Fat, looks like a pig, can't stop polluting?"

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

"... I thought they were on Barsuk," Anna said, clearly completely lost. "Maybe it's different people. What does polluting have to do with it?"

[dollpocalypse]

Topher wandered into the common room with a juice box and a balanced breakfast of chicken wings.

Then he saw the guy who was eating everything. Was it too late to back out slowly?

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"Are those chicken wings?" Oh yeah. Totally too late.

[dollpocalypse]

"Yeees..."

But he didn't like sharing! Sharing was for people with siblings!

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Tony gave him a look that strongly implied he might cry if they weren't shared. Or maybe he was going to burp. One of those two. "They sure look good..."

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

The sounds of someone chowing down with veracity had set off Freddie's Shaggy sense, and he'd come into the common room to look.

"Shaggy, this is no time to... Oh, you're not Shaggy, jeepers, sorry mister! I just hear someone with the munchies and think, by gum, that's gotta be Shaggy and Scoob!"

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"I do not have the munchies!" HE WAS JUST FILLING A VOID WITHIN HIS VERY SOUL.

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

"You don't? Then why are you eating so much, mister?"

He adjusted his ascot. "Is it a mystery?"

His eyes gleamed with eagerness to solve it, if it was.