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Main Campfire | Afternoon | Tuesday | June 7

Nathan wasn't sure how he felt about all this cabin shit. On the one hand, it was a bed and after sleeping on the floor in a community center for months, beds were always good. On the other, there was like no fucking privacy. There was less privacy than in the regular dorm rooms and those were pretty damn open and exposed.

Nathan sighed and lit a cigarette. He wondered if sitting around a campfire meant he was supposed to sing campfire songs or if he was supposed to join hands with someone and meditate. He'd never gone to camp as a kid and was kind of really glad for that. No one was going to get him into too short puke green shorts and no one was going to get him to sleep in the bottom bunk under some smelly kid named Clive.

Nathan gingerly touched his broken nose and the bruising under his eyes before grimacing and pulling his hand away. Kate was damn lucky she'd run away because Nathan had planned on...glaring intently at her. He didn't know. He just knew he owed her something for making his face look like it did.

With a groan, Nathan leaned back against one of the logs and blew out a few smoke circles. Cabins did make it easier for him to seem like a courteous guy with his smoking, at least. Maybe he'd get a reputation as a nice guy.

Yeah, right.

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"Yeah? You gonna come wipe my ass for me after I successfully drop a deuce?" Nathan asked, having absolutely no problem with being crude. "I've never let a dude do for it for me before but hey, we've all got our kinks, don't we?"

Maybe soon it would dawn on him that he didn't even know this guy's name.

Okay, ew.

"Yours are apparently pretty serious," Topher observed, taking that opportunity to make reference to the injuries on Nathan's face. "Getting hit, and all that?"

And wouldn't he feel silly if Nathan happened to notice the half-healed vampire bite on his neck. Thanks for starting a beautiful friendship, Kate.

"Headbutted," Nathan corrected, reaching up to rub the bridge of his nose. "I looked at the inside of someone's asshole and got headbutted for it."

Or maybe that had just been Kate's vampire face. That had been the ugliest fucking thing he'd seen in awhile.

"No one's face should look like the inside of an asshole, man."

"Maybe that wasn't the best idea," Topher advised him. "Could get awkward if you had to sneeze."

"Oh, you think I wanted this to happen?" Nathan asked, shaking his head. "Yeah, I just invited for the assface to headbutt me in the nose. She was being a giant cocktease and when I decided I didn't want to shag her, she got all pissed, went all vampire on me and headbutted me in the fucking face."

Logically, Nathan knew it hadn't been Kate but he was still a little pissed. His face hurt. He couldn't help it.

Whoa.

"Wait, wait, wait," Topher said quickly and excitedly, holding up a hand. "Vampire? You mean that weirdo who lives on the third floor?" He pulled aside the collar of his sweater vest, revealing the bite she'd been nice enough to give him. "She got me too!"

Nathan recoiled and grimaced in sympathy. When he realized the bite didn't mean that Topher was a vampire too, he took a closer look at it.

"Fuck, she bit you?" Nathan asked, frowning. "And she didn't turn you? What happened? Did you kick her in the proverbial balls or something?"

"No!" Topher exclaimed. "I was just minding my own business and she got all creepy and practically climbed on top of me. Told her I wasn't interested and all of a sudden her fangs were in my neck."

That was the Topher-interpreted version of events, anyway.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Well, he could bet that normal Kate was probably wherever she was now, getting off her ass drunk to try and forget that.

"She just headbutted the fuck out of me," he said, gesturing to his face again. "Completely broke my fucking nose and ruined my shirt and pants. Blood doesn't come out! It stains!"

Maybe he'd make Kate do his laundry or buy him a new shirt.

"You wouldn't look good as a vampire, mate."

"No, I would not," Topher agreed, somberly shaking his head. "And we should send her our dry-cleaning bills."

Yes, Topher actually got his clothing dry-cleaned. It completed the dorky-genius look.

"She took off," Nathan informed him, waving a hand. "She left me a voicemail on my mobile about how she's normal now but she took off. Probably ran home to Kansas to have a good cry."

Nathan stuck the cigarette between his lips and poked delicately at the bruises under his eyes. "How much blood did you lose? I bet I lost more."

Oh, yes, they should have a blood loss competition.

"Not sure," Topher said truthfully. "Stood there staring like an idiot until she reminded me I should take care of it. Not proud of that moment."

Nathan forgot about the competition for a moment to give Topher another look at that new piece of information.

"So wait." Nathan held up a hand. "She bit the shit out of your neck but then tried to help you? She didn't try and help me! She just left me on the fucking floor and kicked me."

And she hadn't been the last person to kick him.

Topher hesitated.

"Sorry," he said finally. "Maybe she, uh, really resented the thing with you checking out her asshole."

"The asshole was her face, mate," Nathan clarified, shaking his head. "If she bit you, she had to show off the vamped out face, right? You didn't think that face looked like the inside of an asshole? You weren't, like, attracted to her, were you?"

Oh. Well, the inside of an asshole probably just looked like a hole, right? Topher took things literally. It was a thing.

"Huh," he said, trying to make sense of the visual. Yeah, he hadn't picked up on that before. "Well, no, definitely not attracted to her," Topher said with certainty.

"When her face isn't looking like the inside of a diseased asshole, she's pretty hot," Nathan relented, shrugging. "Small tits but hey, she can make up for it in other ways."

Though, he was just gonna be seeing her fucking vampire face for awhile now. It'd pass eventually, he was sure. Too many people had been hitting him lately.

Oh, ick. Ick ick ick ick ick. Topher was... afraid of girlparts.

He cringed just a bit. "She's all yours, man," he said, ignoring the mild terror that accompanied thoughts of a girl without her clothes on.

Yeah, that surprised Nathan a bit. The surprised passed quickly and then he just looked amused. "So, not into girls, then?"

Which meant, in Nathan's head, he was into guys.

"Prefer the ole twig and berries?"

That was... also ick, once he processed what it must mean. Topher just feared nudity in general. It came with the social ineptitude.

"Uh, no," he said decisively. "Just, you know. Kate, and the, uh." Oh, wonderful, he was tasting bile. "Small... tits. Not into that."

Nathan started laughing and ignored any twinges of pain that might have caused. He hadn't been sure about Topher but now the guy was just fucking amusing as hell.

"So, you prefer a giant rack?" Nathan guessed. "Something that fills your whole hand? Tits that you can clap together like fucking cymbals?"

EW EW EW EW EW EW EW. HORRIFYING, NATHAN. THAT WAS AWFUL.

"Um," he said, swallowing hard. Damn, his throat was dry. "Sure. Yeah. That's, uh, my favorite kind."

And his voice chose that moment to crack and sound like a prepubescent girl's. Lovely.

Oh, Nathan smelled blood now. Poor, poor Topher.

"Hey, I know a girl like that!" Nathan said even if he didn't. "Mind if I give her your name and number? She's really fucking lonely and I think she'd go for a guy like you, mate. She really loves..."

He paused and gave Topher a look. "...blokes that use laptops."

"Lucky me," Topher all but squeaked. "That'd... that'd be great."

"Are you going through puberty right in front of my very eyes?" Nathan wondered, still laughing. "If you are, don't worry, the new hair you're finding all over your body? Completely fucking normal. Girls love it, in fact. It gives them something to hold onto when she's on top of you."

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