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1st Floor Lobby/Safety Detention Zone - Sunday Evening

One thing about living in town like Eureka is that you learn to deal with the weirdness and try to come up with a solution.

After reading the news in the morning it didn't take much for Jack and Columbus to hatch a plot to help protect the populace of Fandom from themselves.

Which is why Jack had his collection of zip line plastic restraints and a very large sign in the lobby.

FREE SUSHI!
FREE COFFEE
FREE BOOZE
FREE BACON

Granted there wasn't a shortage of bacon but then again, who doesn't like bacon?

Behind the sign was a screened off area where supposed food items were.

[OCD is up!]

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Where sadly the mun is afk but Jack will be happy to mod you into the detention area and into handcuffs unless you want slow play.

Where Columbus will guard all of you in a moldable fashion. Feel free to interact with your other detainees. Also the boys weren't completely lying. There are vegetable sushi rolls, decaf coffee and non-alcoholic beer and virgin margaritas to eat at you pleasure.

Plus all the bacon you can eat.

This is pretty much canon for Jack to try and rescue the town and has in one case locked up most of the populace when they went batshit crazy

However I just found out yesterday that I have to fly out of town so I won't be online until very late. Please mod your captivity and feel free to escape if you so choose.

"HEY." Scully was now as big as a house and looking pissed. "I have to go be in the park! Pregnant woman coming through... but I want some bacon first."

[Sp is yay, and I skip on down for hijinks in the Detention center]

It was the sushi that got Bruce. He just wanted a quick bite to eat before he grabbed his fancy secret meeting cape and went out to the Skywalker mine for the big meeting. But no, it just HAD to be a trap. Of course.

Sigh. He was just going to study the detention area to find the best escape route for the moment.

When Scully was woman-handled into the Detention Area, her eyes narrowed. "YOU! YOU DOUBLE CROSSING BIGAMOUS BRUCE!"

"I didn't lie about that not being mine," Bruce pointed out. "Human babies don't grow that fast."

"Oh Sure, pick on the ONE THING you didn't lie about! You married Lucrezia Borgia five zillion other names WAYNE yesterday! And you didn't even invite me!" Scully steamed. "What has that bitch got that I haven't?!"

"Technically, she and I were probably still married from the first time I married her, long ago," Bruce said. "So I guess she had dibs."

Scully gasped. Possibly at the writers getting off a good zinger like that for once.

"So even if I wanted to fake that this baby was yours, it wouldn't matter?" she asked, dismayed. Damnit. She should have seduced the priest.

Zip ties were now floating around her, responding to her agitation. Or her Alien Spawn's fascination with plastic.

"Sorry, dearest," Bruce said. "This is why I never told you any of this. I didn't want to hurt you."

It was some kind of logic. Not the normal kind, though.

"But I want to hurt you," Scully growled, waddle-stomping over. "A lot."

Suddenly, there was a zip-tie in her hand.

MUSICAL STING!

"I should have seen that one coming," Bruce said, shaking his head at the terrible joke instead of defending himself.

Crap. He probably should have been defending himself.

Really a LOT. Those FBI-trained reflexes and Pregnant Scored Woman Rage had Scully already wrapping and tightening that zip-tie around his throat with lunatic strength!

"NOW what do you have to say for yourself, O Fake Husband of Mine? Hunh? HMM?"

"Kkkckk kckkckk ah GASP kkkckkckkckkckckck grgl," Bruce said before slumping back, his body going limp.

"Not even an 'I'm Sorry'? 'I always loved you best'? 'She wasn't as hot as you'?" Scully demanded as Bruce slumped to the floor. "You bastard."

She let go of the zip-tie, triumphant and enraged. Then she blinked.

"Oh God. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"

By the time Scully looked back down after celebrating, blinking, and moaning at her actions, Bruce was gone.

He had picked a great escape route.

Scully whirled around to sob some more, then realized Bruce was gone.

"...you cunning evil ratfink."

The zipties continued to circle as Scully's eyes nearly sparked.

THWARTED! REJECTED! PREGNANT! ... "UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, WAYNE."

And thus, a supervillainess is born.

"Holy crap!" Jack exclaimed. There was a raging pregnant woman charging at him and demanding bacon. How else would you expect him to react?

It was like his first marriage all over again.

"Okay! Not a problem," Jack said. "We've got plenty of bacon for you and... junior there. Just step this way."

Zip ties? Ready.

Jack came into see that Bruce had disappeared and Scully looking even crazier than before.

"Damn it, Ohio!" Jack exclaimed. "You weren't supposed to let one escape!"

"Sorry," Columbus stammered out meekly. "I got distracted by the floating zip ties."

"Good! Do you have some spinach to go with this? I've been craving green things," Scully said, expression verging on maniacal. "Also the caffeine is bad for the baby but I want sushi." Wasaaaaaaaabi!

After making a round through town, Jack returned with what he assumed was a fake coma victim (http://fandomtownies.livejournal.com/6061107.html?thread=232031539#t232031539). Dropping her on one of the more comfortable couches, Jack sighed and popped open a drink.

Columbus looked at the coma victim and then at Jack.

"Is she dead?"

"Eh. Probably a coma."

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1st Floor Lobby/Safety Detention Zone - Sunday Evening

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