Fourth Floor Common Room | Afternoon | Wednesday | September 22

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

After class, Nathan found himself pretty goddamn bored. It was too early to go into town and drink himself silly (and he'd done that last night anyway) and he wasn't hungry so he couldn't go make a scene at a buffet on the mainland (finding fake mice in the mac and cheese was always fun) so he'd flopped himself down on one of the couches in the common room.

Someone's potato chips were at his hip and were being ignored for the moment while Nathan flipped rapidly through the channels. He'd passed through each channel about five times, had found nothing worth watching but thought that continued flipping might make something good appear out of thin air. So far, no luck.

"Fucking bored as shit," he said and ate a handful of potato chips. "Can't this fucking school have porn on cable?"

No one answered and there was still no porn on the school's cable network. Nathan sighed and decided if he ever became principal or president or prime minister or czar, porn was gonna be fucking mandatory. It'd be the fucking state channel. Write it down.

[CR's an open place, of course]

Comments

[dollpocalypse]

"Like, a vial." He was really hung up on this point. "With a stopper, and everything." Duh.

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

"So." Nathan paused and raised an eyebrow. "How do you know what kind of container piss goes in? Pissed in a lot of vials there, Topher?"

[dollpocalypse]

"Well, that's how you're supposed to store it," Topher explained. "At doctors' offices."

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

"Okay, so let's say you found a properly stored vial of piss in the fridge for whatever reason," Nathan said, shrugging. "Maybe some star athlete's trying to cheat his way out of a drug test because he's all roided out and that's why it's there. Would you analyze it?"

[dollpocalypse]

Topher cocked his head. "You know, I'm not sure I really have the equipment to analyze urine." What a shame! "Not sure I'm committed enough to actually buy a dipstick. Those things go for, like, forty dollars on Amazon."

...oh god, Topher, was was wrong with you?

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

"How do you know this?" Nathan asked, staring at him. "Have you done fucking research on piss test tools?"

[dollpocalypse]

"...Yes!"

Why not? Because it was weird, Topher. That's why not.

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

"Fucking why?" Nathan asked, laughing. "Why would you do research on piss test tools?"

[dollpocalypse]

"I was curious!"

He did not see the problem here, no.

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

"You're fucking weird," Nathan said but he laughed after he said it. "How did the other version of me want to make out with someone so fucking weird?"

Oops. Sorry, Topher.

[dollpocalypse]

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait.

"WHAT."

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

"What, you don't recognize me?" Nathan asked, not too horrified with having told Topher what with that reaction. "You don't recognize my fucking lips, man?"

[dollpocalypse]

"B-- y-- at the church!?"

Queasy! Suddenly very queasy!

"Noooooooooo!"

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

"Why the fuck are you freaking out?" Nathan asked, getting over his own trauma so he could be amused at how Topher was acting. "It's not like I kicked down your back door or anything. Calm the fuck down."

[dollpocalypse]

"I don't have a -- ew! That's -- ew! Gross!"

Yeah, he was scrambling out of there now. And taking the chips with him.

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

"Are you seriously running away?" Nathan called after him, laughing. "What a fucking pussy you are! It wasn't me, you twat! Get a set of balls!"

Aaaand Nathan just went back to laughing his ass off at Topher.