fandomhighdorms | Fourth Floor Common Room, Thursday Evening, The Barry Gibb Talk Show

The fourth floor common room had been transformed. Do not ask how the best talk show hosts ever had found a disco ball to hang from the ceiling, one that showed off their matching white double-breasted pantsuits. They were here to sing about politics and chew bubble gum, and they were all out of gum.

There were chairs arranged in a semi-circle, for the important political guests, brothers Barry Gibb and Robin Gibb (also known as the surviving two thirds of the best effing band ever, the Bee Gees) faced away from the studio audience. As if on cue, Barry and Robin spun around, and began to sing.

"Here we are
In a room full of strangers
Discussing politics
And the issues of the day
Well, I want to talk to you
Though you may not want me to
I'm still gonna talk to you
I don't care what you say

Talkin' it up
On the Barry Gibb talk show
Talkin' bout issues
Talkin' bout real important issues
Talkin' it up
On the Barry Gibb talk show
Talkin' bout politics
In this crazy, crazy town
Oh yeah
Yeah yeah
Yeah yeah"

So maybe George and Squall had been gremlin-bit earlier this evening and thought they were washed-up disco superstars now hosting a belligerent talk show about politics. That might be cool, too.

(~~There will be OCD for this.~~ OCD UP! Come be a guest on the show, or a member of the studio audience, or stand in the back with a camera! JOIN US.)

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"He'll be back, he'll be back, he'll be back!" chorused Robin.

Warren had no idea what the former governor of California had been up to.

This was not going to stop Warren from coming up with an answer as he made himself comfortable on a nearby seat.

"Oh, you know. Mostly I've been working on my plot to send an assassin robot back in time to kill Arnold's mother so that he can never usurp my position as governor," he replied. Casually. "Except on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when I go golfing with Patrick Swayze."

Who was dead. But that hardly mattered.

"You've got a time-travelling assassin robot?" Barry asked, fascinated. "You, Cruz Bustamante, have a time-travelling assassin robot?" He turned to Robin. "Why don't I have an assassinbot?!?! I'm Barry effin' Gibb! I grew up on the streets of Sydney!!! I ate the still-beating heart of Paul Hogan and absorbed his effing Dundee-powers!!! I'm BARRY EFFIN' GIBB and I want a robot!!!"

Robin gave that question the long, lingering silence it deserved, as he pondered the many theoretical and metaphysical implications of it.

"I dunno," he said, finally. "Why d'you want one?"

Barry stood up and did a series of kung-fu kicks and karate chops. "BECAUSE I'M BARRY EFFIN' GIBB!!!"

"It seems to me, Barry Gibb, that you're pretty dangerous yourself," Warren offered, kind of inching away from those kung-fu kicks because, gremlin bite or not, Squall was the trained assassin here, and he didn't want to get smacked or something.

Not that he wouldn't get better, but still.

"And, as my good friend Leonardo da Vinci always said to me..." Uh... "Don' scossa di t gli spaghetti. Which means..."

'Don't kick the spaghetti' in what was probably horribly mutilated Italian.

"... Barry effin' Gibb is too awesome for assassin robots."

"Leonardo da Vinci talked to you about me? About how awesome I am?" Barry was flattered, and he showed it by rubbing the part of his chest exposed by his v-necked shirt in a sexual way. "Le-o-nar-do! Le-o-nar-do! Cowabunga, yeah!"

There were now two brothers doing a somewhat suggestive dance, bumping and grinding in a very retro seventies way.

"Le-o-nar-do! Buh-buh-buh-buh-bar-ry Gibb and Le-o-nar-do! Juh-juh-juh-juh-gen-ius-es and bro-ther-art-ists! Barry Gibb and Le-o-nar-do! Mak-ing art and kicking be-hind! Yeah! (Yeah!)"

Warren was biting the inside of his cheek now to keep from completely cracking up. He was a terrible human being and he didn't care, because this was freaking awesome.

"He also finds your work very inspiring, especially Jive Talkin', and wants to know if you can meet him and the other Samurai Frogs for pizza sometime. No anchovies."

Because, hey, so long as they were confusing the artist with the cartoon mutant, Warren had absolutely no problem doing the same.

"No anchovies, no anchovies, never any anchovies!" Barry sang.

Then he spun around and started inspiring Cruz Bustamante with his power of song.

It's just your jive talkin'. You're telling me lies, yeah.
Jive talkin', you wear a disguise.
Jive talkin', so misunderstood, yeah.
Jive talkin', you’re really no good.

Robin jumped up and chimed in. Only better! He was adapting the lyrics to the circumstances!

Be afraid.

It's just your jive talkin', with your robot killer guy, yeah
Jive talkin', eating pizza pies.
Jive talkin', right here on our show,
Jive talkin', Barry effin said so.

Oooh, yeah, Cruz Bustamante was in the presence of genius.

Edited 2012-01-06 05:25 (UTC)

Lucky, lucky Cruz. You could tell he was lucky because he kind of looked like he was in physical pain for trying so hard to keep from just bursting out in a fit of laughter.

There was clapping, though. Oh yeah. There was totally clapping.

And then a disco-pose with one arm in the air, because hell, why not? Warren was totally hip like that.

Barry shuffled over next to Warren, matched his pose, and kept on dancing. Warren had memorized the choreography to the famous ~~meta for~~ Saturday Night Fever dance scene, right? No? Well, now was a good time to learn.

The night fever, night fever
We know how to do it.
Gimme the night fever, night fever
We know how to show it.

And really, Warren had only brought this horror upon himself, hadn't he? At least he was more or less resigned to his fate, because even if he was going to end up tripping over himself, he'd look damn good doing it.

Hopefully. It was hard to tell, since he was doing his level best to keep from cracking up. But hey, Warren had some pretty damn impressive disco hips.

It was easy to be shameless about the silly stuff like this when you grew up cut off from society at large.

Fourth Floor Common Room, Thursday Evening, The Barry Gibb Talk Show

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Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests