The school lawn, Saturday afternoon

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam had a towel spread out across the grass in a sunny spot on the lawn. She had a bowl full of meatballs and a whole slew of disgusting new videos to watch online.

Life was good.

[ooc: expecting one, also open, yadda yadda.]

Comments

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

Fris had been wandering around town for a bit, now, trying to get her bearings. The castle on the hill was just too tempting not to go explore.

Of course, then she got sidetracked by who she saw hanging out on the lawn.

"Mom? Are those meatballs? I thought you were on the patch again!"

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam looked up and blinked. ". . . Carly? What are you doing here?"

A beat.

"And why do you think I'm your mom?"

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

Fris sighed. "I'm Fris, Mom. Aunt Carly's all old like you, remember?"

[hurtingzeebo]

"I'm not old!" Sam said defensively. "You're just all . . . tweenie! And stop calling me Mom!"

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

Fris groaned. "Where's Dad? He's at least the reasonable one in this family."

[hurtingzeebo]

"I don't know! I'm not your mom! Stop looking like my best friend! It's weird!"

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"Okay, Mom," Fris said, clearly humoring her. "How about you let me share some of those meatballs, huh?"

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam clutched her bowl of meatballs close to her chest. "Mine!"

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"But I want one!" Fris whined.

The eleven year old could not always be counted on to be the mature one.

[hurtingzeebo]

"No!" said Sam.

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"Gimme!" yelled Fris.

[hurtingzeebo]

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

Fris pulled out her comically large fork. "GIMME!"

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam pulled out her own comically large fork. "You'll have to tear them from my cold dead hands!"

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"Fine!"

And that was how Frisbee Princess Sparkle Church Pants Puckett-Benson III, proud member of the Fencin' Bensons tradition, ended up dueling forks for meatballs with her teenaged mother on the front lawn of her future high school.

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie Benson had a bit of a swagger to his step today. Of course, when he stumbled upon what appeared to be his girlfriend and a tiny Carly dueling with forks, he was forced to stop and stare confusedly.

"...What the chiz?" he said, totally thrown off guard.

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

Fris spun in place. "Dad!"

Sam took advantage of her distraction and charged, knocking Fris to the ground and sitting on her. "Ha! . . . Wait, what'd you call him?"

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

"What did you call me?" Freddie also said, more than a little shocked.

"Why is Carly tiny? And here?"

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"She says her name is Fris!"

"It is Fris!" Fris said. "And I'm not tiny, you're tiny! Wait, why are you guys all babysitter age instead of parent age?"

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

"Because we are in no way prepared to be parents?" Freddie said, trying not to panic. "Oh god, is this because... is this... Oh god my mom somehow found out and she's punishing us!"

He was panicking.

[hurtingzeebo]

"That's not how it works, Benson!" Sam said. Because panicking? So not helping.

"How what works?" Fris asked. "What did you guys do to Gramma Marissa?"

"Stop saying we're your parents!"

"Gimme a meatball!"

She was definitely trying to be like Sam, if nothing else.

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie was still completely unsure of things. He was, however, trying to get a grip.

"This is a thing, isn't it?" he said. "Like when we change sexes or bodies and... oh man is she really our kid?"

He was not ready for this, not one bit.

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"Don't be dumb," Sam told him, mostly because he thought of that explanation first. "What's your name, kid?"

Fris sighed melodramatically, then cleared her throat. "Frisbee Princess Sparkle Church Pants Puckett-Benson III."

Sam blinked, impressed. "Wow."

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie stared.

"Okay, why did I let your mom name you?" he said, jumping to the wrong conclusion.

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"You didn't," Fris said quickly, before this could get bloody. "You let the internet name me."

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie paused, then shrugged. "You know, that sounds like something we would do," he said.

[hurtingzeebo]

"I bet you've never met anyone else with your name," Sam pointed out.

"And this is why I asked if I could be adopted by Aunt Carly," Fris said. "Of course, then I'd have to fireproof all my stuff from Uncle Spencer."

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

"I don't think that would work," Freddie said, going to sit down with Sam and Fris. The kid was cute, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of attachment.

"So you're sure Carly is only your aunt?"

She really did look a lot like her.

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"Well, Mom says she's secretly my father," Fris said.

Sam looked her over and nodded. "I would buy that theory."

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie opened his mouth then shut it. "...ooookay then," he said. "So wait, we're still doing iCarly when we're, like, thirty?"

That seemed kind of a cool idea, actually.

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"You guys have the world record for the longest running web show," Fris confirmed.

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie looked over at Sam. "Is it weird that this is no longer weirding me out?"

[hurtingzeebo]

"Yep," Sam said. "Is it weird that I mostly just really want to take a picture of all of us and send it to Carly?"

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

"We totally need to do that," Freddie said. "She'll freak the freak out, it'll be great."

He was sometimes a little devious.

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"You guys are terrible," Fris said. "You should do it over video phone so I can see Aunt Carly freak out, too."

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie gestured at Fris with a grin. "Well, now we have to," he said. "I think we'll want a full laptop for this, though. Just to get the full picture."

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"Ohhhh yeah," Fris said. "You guys still use laptops."

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie lit up like a lightbulb. "Oh man, I really want to ask about what we use instead, but then I might get all sad until we actually ave it."

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"Three words:" Fris said. "Non-cheesy holographic projection."

"That's gotta be, like, at least six words," Sam said. Fris rolled her eyes.

"It's awesome though, Dad. You're gonna love it."

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie's jaw fell open. "Oh sweet chiz."

He wanted the future to be here right now.

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"Wait," Sam said. "You totally inherited his nub-ness!"

"It's okay, Mom," Fris assured her. "I can beat people up, too."

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

"Well, there's not doubt now," Freddie said, still weirdly cool with this all. "So we can go back in the dorms, grab my computer, and freak out Carly entirely?"

Sounded like a great plan.

[crwdsourcedname.livejournal.com]

"Yay!" Fris said, reaching one hand out for Sam's bucket of meatballs as she cheered.

Sam groaned and grudgingly shared a meatball.