The Gardens, Tuesday All Day

[nothornlessrose.livejournal.com]

Cassidy wasn't hiding in the gardens, except for how she was.

She'd come down very early in the morning, before it was light out, because she hadn't been able to sleep. She'd pulled up a protective yellow shield around herself and started in on pulling weeds and digging in the dirt to move rocks and stones that she didn't think belonged where they were.

She took one break, which would only be called a break if someone was feeling really generous. After that, she continued to weed and dig in the garden. Her hands and knees became scraped up, but she kept working. At some point, she dimly registered aches and pains in her back and shoulders, but it was a pain that kept her from focusing on her thoughts.

When one of the tools broke in her hands from use, she didn't even seem to notice it and just gripped it by the splintered handle and continued to claw and hoe the garden to make sure it was suitable for planting.


[[OOC: So very, very open :D]]

Comments

[snarkyhealer.livejournal.com]

Shira growled, not at Raven specifically so much as it was the idea of anyone breaking her Queen that way.

"You have your Jewel, though," she said, forcing herself to smile. "And I think you'd be within your every right to lighten your load for a few minutes by using a little bit of your power -- after you let me clean up those cuts and scrapes on your hands."

She'd keep after Cassidy until she gave in, but she saw no reason she couldn't keep things pleasant as long as possible.

[nothornlessrose.livejournal.com]

"I disappointed Karla because I failed to take care of my males. I failed to do everything a Queen was supposed to and Karla reminded me how badly I did and how my brother could have gotten himself killed because I didn't take care."

She kept digging and scratching at the dirt, ignoring the blood that she could feel mixing with the dirt and rocks in the garden.

[snarkyhealer.livejournal.com]

"Damn it, stop," Shira snapped. "You are hurting yourself right now beyond what I will allow and if you don't stop and let me take care of your hands before they get really bad, so help me, I'll write home and tell Ranon."

[nothornlessrose.livejournal.com]

Cassidy flinched at the anger in Shira and stopped where she was, her shoulders drooping. She still held onto one of the tools, but pulled it and her bloody hand into her lap, ducking her head.

"It doesn't matter if I get hurt, Shira, I'm not going to be a very good Queen. How can I protect my court and their people when I couldn't take care of myself and the land. Even Elle knew I was breaking."

Three of the four young women she trusted implicitly and three of them hurt her deeply.

[snarkyhealer.livejournal.com]

"You're still young," Shira said, calling in her healing supplies and opening the small case. "You're learning, yes, but you're still young. You go through things in life, some of them horrible, but do you let those situations win? No, you don't. You find what you can learn from them and you take it to heart and deal with the rest later."

She waited until she'd cleaned Cassidy's hands and was reaching for her bandages before asking, "How did Elle know you were breaking? And why do I not like the fear in your voice and your very being when you say her name?"

[nothornlessrose.livejournal.com]

She let Shira work on her hands this time, knowing she would just be out here again or in the Preserve trying to make sure the land was taken care of and was being fed drops of her blood to strengthen them.

She tried not to show her fear of Raven, but the fear of Elle was something she was struggling harder with.

"I was Elle's favorite person to torture," she said softly, tears appearing in her eyes before she blinked them away. "She tortured me with her power and called me her pet."

[snarkyhealer.livejournal.com]

"Do you want me to talk to her, then?" Shira asked. "Explain why you're avoiding her? Because if you avoid her and she doesn't know why, she's going to start hating herself even more than she will when she knows. And I know you're hurting so badly right now, but you can't afford to let one of your greatest protectors start doubting herself."

[nothornlessrose.livejournal.com]

"She remembers, Shira. We all do." Cassidy said softly. "I'm not avoiding her. I'm focusing on the things I failed to pay attention to."

And if she was also hiding from some people, she wasn't about to admit it.

[snarkyhealer.livejournal.com]

"Fair enough," she said to the first part. "And paying attention to things is good, I'm not saying it isn't. But you can't neglect the members of your Court in favor of caring for the land. That's not what a good Queen does, either. A good Queen finds the balance. She lets her Court help her."