Fifth Floor Common Room, Wednesday evening

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

Jessica walked into the common room to... Um. To. Crud. To do something. She walked into the common room to... do... something. But now she was standing by the doorway because she completely blanked on what she was coming here to do. Watch something on TV? She wasn't hungry, so it wasn't food related. Did she forget something in there? She was pretty sure that wasn't the case.

She turned to walk out of the room when she was struck by inspiration. She was in here for... Damn. She lost it the second she walked back into the room.

Screw it. Whatever. She was just going to have a seat, turn on the TV - the stupid Extreme Musical Chairs Game Show That Sounds Like Cursing was on and, well, sometimes you had to watch train wrecks like Oh Sit! - and wait for the universe to reveal why the hell she was there in the first place. Even if it did mean she was going to impatiently look around to see what she missed like every five seconds.

[OOC: Last week when dirtiest_skank asked me for CR prompts, this was rejected for the Spanish DNC. So I'm using it now. Because I had something else in mind but couldn't remember what it was.

And just so there's no confusion, Oh Sit! is an actual show on the CW. I DON'T KNOW HOW. All I know about it comes from that link.]

Comments

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"What is this?" Olive asked, somewhere between fascinated and horrified as she wandered in.

That seemed to be her usual reaction to the television, here.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"A big budget version of musical chairs," Jessica said. "I'm pretty sure some executive wanted to get himself fired."

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"It can't be worse than Deal or No Deal," Olive pointed out. "Apparently all it takes to entertain people is a bunch of suitcases. Or chairs. Our country's entertainment really needs to look at its life and look at its choices."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Oh, it's worse. It's not even as entertaining as a suitcase," Jessica said. "It's a bunch of people who are tired from doing obstacles who don't have the energy to get to the chair. You wouldn't even need a suitcase to beat this. It could be Howie Mandell holding something behind his back and it would still be better."

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

Well. There was only one thing to do, when presented with this scenario.

"We should apply to be contestants."

Obviously.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"As brilliant as that idea is, there's no way it gets a second season," Jessica pointed out. "It's musical chairs."

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"It could," Olive argued. "People are dumb. And we're increasing viewership right now."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Dammit, you're right," Jessica said. "Just so this is clear, if I ever end up on this show, I'm blaming you. You will not be thanked. You will be blamed."

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"How about 'credited,'" Olive tried, going for a compromise.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"I'm still partial to 'blamed,'" Jessica said. "If you can make 'credited' a little more 'blamey' maybe. Break out the thesaurus."

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"How about I just agree to take responsibility, so that when we appear on everyone's TV they'll know to go, 'Oh, awesome, it's Jessica and Olive, look how great they look! It's so wonderful Olive thought to make sure this happened for them!' And then they'd cheer on for us to sit down."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"When you put it that way, it almost sounds fun. Until the sitting down part," Jessica reasoned.

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"I would say we could boycott that part but um, I don't half-ass things," Olive assured her. "If we're going on this show we are going to sit like crazy. Like there's money at stake. Because there is."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"I wonder how much," Jessica said, because she hadn't paid attention to that part. "I mean, that is an awful lot of effort to just sit. The winner better get a decent payday."

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"College money," Olive declared. "I mean, that's what Wheel of Fortune does for teenagers. They'd probably just pay our college tuition."

Provided they, like, majored in sitting.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"I could get some kind of crazy science scholarship," Jessica said. "But this would be spending money for doing something as weird as sitting on TV. And it's not like anyone would ever see it."

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"I mean, we're seeing it now," Olive pointed out. "So don't say that. There'd probably be a common room of people here screaming at the screen and willing us to win."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"But I'm only watching it because I forgot what I came in here for. And you're only watching it because I was already watching it and you apparently have entertainingly terrible taste in television," Jessica said. "What are the odds that this kind of thing happens again when we're on it?"

Actually, pretty good. And Jessica realized that. But still.

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

Toby stood in the doorway for a few seconds, trying to figure out what the hell was going on with this show.

Musical chairs, apparently.

"The hell?"

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"In fairness to me, I'm using it as white noise," Jessica said.

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"Of course," Toby said with a nod. Even though it seemed to him like she was more invested in this show than she wanted to admit.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"It's focusing my mind. I couldn't remember what I came in here for, so by watching this and having my whole mind come to the conclusion that this is awful, it'll be easier for me to remember things," Jessica said. "At least, that's the working theory."

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"Yeah?" Toby tilted his head and gave her a curious look. "How's that, uh. Working out for you?"

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Well, it's kind of working. I know for sure that I didn't come in here to watch this. So that at least narrows things down," Jessica explained.

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"Or maybe it was your destiny to come in here and watch this," Toby mused. It probably wasn't. That'd be kind of a crap destiny.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"I really hope not," Jessica said. "I mean, if my whole life led to this, I'm really hoping that it somehow means a bus full of orphans didn't crash or something. Otherwise, this was a waste of a destiny."

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"It does seem like a pretty lame one," Toby had to agree.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Especially since this show is going to get cancelled anyway," Jessica said. "Maybe I'll be the person who starts the write in campaign to save it. And then the other person who joins the campaign will be my true love or something, and that's how we'll meet."

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"And then you can be the subject of a romantic comedy, thus completing the cycle," Toby said triumphantly.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"I'm starting to think this destiny is worse than the boring, mundane one," Jessica mused.

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"You wouldn't want a TV show based on your life?"

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Not really," Jessica said. "Why, would you?"

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"No, but my life's not very exciting. I mean, Canadian high school student at an American boarding school? Probably not that unusual."

Telepathic paramedic-slash-police-consultant, on the other hand...

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"Musical chairs, Toby. Musical chairs," Olive told him. "Musical goddamn chairs on TV."

That was all she had.

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"I can't believe this is what television has come to," Toby said sadly. "I mean, whatever happened to, like, You Can't Do That On Television? Or Video & Arcade?"

...Toby. Toby. Your 90s were showing.

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"What's that?" asked she who was born in 1992. "Are they foreign or something, like the stupid cactibear?"

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"Hey." Toby frowned at her. "Hey now. Don't talk smack about the Cactibear. And they're Canadian." Which wasn't really foreign, okay?

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"So foreign," Olive said, fully embracing the whole ugly American thing. "Are they, like, in French?"

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"No," Toby made a face at her. "That was Telefrancais." Also known as the only Francophone program most Anglo kids ever watched. And even then only because they had to.

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"Je ne parle pas francais," Olive told him. "That's how much I know. Right there. That and the Lady Marmalade lyrics."

How proud you must be, Olive.

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"I can... read the back of a cereal box," Toby admitted. "And ask a pineapple if it's talking to me. Which has come in handy exactly zero times."

Though in Fandom, who knew?

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"Are Canadian cereal boxes in French?" Olive asked, just a hair pityingly. How weird and sad.

[godgavemecable.livejournal.com]

"No, they're bilingual," Toby corrected. "Fun fact: Canada has two official languages."