3rd Floor Common Room, Monday Evening

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Tony had spent his weekend evil. And old. And goateed.

This somehow meant he needed to spend the following evening in front of the TV, wrapped up like a burrito in a blanket as he ate Chinese take out. Nothing said 'repression' quite like watching what appeared to be a very confusing lesson about chemical safety.

Why wouldn't the TV just let him watch Mythbusters so he could bitch about doing it better? Why did it hate rich kids so much?

[[OPEN!]]

Comments

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"I think I may be doing science wrong. I've never had someone shower me in a classroom before," Jessica said after walking in and figuring out what was going on.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"I've been wondering if soft jazz music will start playing any time now," Tony admitted, glancing over at her. Because it was perfectly normal to discuss such things with girls.

Seriously, Tony.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"The band was probably off making their own creepy shower videos," Jessica reasoned.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"If this is what I missed out on not taking chemistry at a real high school, I think I dodged a bullet."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"You also missed dodging bullets at a real high school. It was a win-win situation for you," Jessica joked.

Oh, public school.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"Here, you just have to dodge... ending up engaged to your friend's cousin and then planning to have them killed because they married your dad last year." A beat. "I had a strange weekend."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"I know. I was in the audience," Jessica said. "You put on quite a show, Benedict."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"That's Mr. Swaddlepants to you."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Mind if I call you Benny Swads?" Jessica asked.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

That was a terrible name, Jessica.

"...do I look like a hip-hop mogul to you?"

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Not a good one. And that's why you got stuck with the name Benny Swads," Jessica said.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"See if I put you in my music videos," Tony grumbled, going back to his lo mein.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Darn. I was really hoping to break into the hip hop video business," Jessica said. "I guess I'll just have to fall back on that career in super-science I'm looking at instead."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, but is there any money in super-science?"

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Okay, this pains me, but I am no longer the funniest person in this room right now," Jessica said.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Tony held out a hand for a high-five. "Have some food to make up for it."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

Jessica slapped five and grabbed a box of noodles. "Hopefully you can afford it on your modest income. I'd hate to drive you to the poor house with this."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"I've always depended on the kindness of strangers," he assured her. "Plus, I'm pretty sure I own that fake diamond mine everyone was fighting over this weekend."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"I thought it got blown up," Jessica mentioned.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"Again?"

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Does it get blown up a lot?" Jessica asked.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"At least once a year." A beat. "It's very dramatic."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"And here I never even knew we had a diamond mine in town," Jessica said. "I understand how a lot of this stuff slips off the radar, but come on. A diamond mine that explodes annually? How is that not the first thing you tell people?"

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"How do you think we all stay so fabulously wealthy?" Tony asked. Because clearly diamonds were the answer.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"I assumed it was technological innovation and sound business practices," Jessica said. "Clearly, I was a fool."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"Diamonds," Tony whispered, doing spirit fingers along with it.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"I'll be sure to watch out for them next year," Jessica said. "Thanks for the head's up."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"Make sure to sell them before the weekend is over. Pretty sure they disappear."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"It's the the inverse of everyone's dignity and shame," Jessica pointed out. "When those go away, we get diamonds. When the diamonds go away, people are embarrassed."